Wednesday, March 29, 2023

Trust that Inner Voice of Warning

In LAST WEEK's POST, I discussed the Riches of my Rural Roots.

In doing so, I focused almost solely on the positive aspects of my upbringing in the country, and I did so honestly from the singular vantage point of my own unique experiences, which were, in fact, largely positive.

Nevertheless, my rosy presentation was not meant to suggest that my family, friends, and neighbors and I were exempt from trials and temptations or struggles and accidents. Today's article shares the story of one accident in particular—an unfortunate and preventable mishap—from which I was able to derive a valuable life lesson.  

Snow tubing is a popular activity in cold, mountainous regions
The accident occurred at a church activity in the Blue Mountains one evening after dark in February of 1995. 

The activity involved was snow tubing. Teenage boys and girls from my church (and our adult leaders) had assembled up the mountain at the old ski lift, which was well suited to sliding down the slopes on inflatable tubes extracted from old tires.

Most of the tubes at the activity were regular sized tire tubes, the kind you would find inside a typical car or truck tire. There was one tube, however, which was significantly larger than the others. This particular tube was designed for an oversized tire—the kind you would find inside a large tractor or other piece of heavy machinery.

And you can probably guess which tube was the most popular among my peers at the activity! 

Regular sized tire tubes were ideal for single rider descents. The extra large tube, however, was big enough for five or six teenagers to tube down the hill together. There was only one tube of this size, so you can imagine the novelty this particular tube was for my peers that evening, affording an extra exciting thrill ride compared to the single-seat, regular-sized tubes.

This was an exciting activity for teenagers and my peers had a good time tubing down the hill.

But as teenagers are wont to do, they became progressively more daring as the evening wore on. This led the more intrepid thrill-seekers among the group to begin taking risks. One such risk involved positioning the large tube at increasingly steeper points on the slope where the greatest possible speed (and thrill) might be attained.

In the midst of this slippery slope—no pun intended—an extra daring run was proposed at what must have been the steepest point on the entire hill. I somehow found myself roped into this plot and was appointed to stand in front of a post sticking out of the ground near the bottom of the hill. My job was to carefully watch the trajectory of the tube's descent. If it appeared that its trajectory was headed too close to the fixed post in the ground, my job was to yell to the five or six tubers to bail off the tube before striking the post at the bottom. 

As I stood at my post—right next to the post which posed real danger to my peers—I began to feel uneasy. As I carefully scanned the hill and otherwise observed the variables involved, it seemed a high probability that the tube would travel too close to where the post stood. I was also concerned that the steepness of the slope would engage the tubers in a speed such that any potential warnings of mine would come too late. With this growing realization and uneasiness, I could hear that still, small VOICE of conscience within whisper to me that this plan was a bad idea and that I really ought to voice my concerns and wash my hands of the affair for the safety of all those who were about to embark on this foolhardy plan—as well as for the sake of my own conscience. Or I should have alerted the adult leaders to the proposed plan and encourage them to stop it from being set into motion.   

But I didn't.

     I stayed silent. 

Not wanting to appear a fun-spoiler, a killjoy, a sissy, or a chicken, I chose to ignore that Inner Voice, rationalizing that perhaps I was worrying too much and that there was a chance things might turn out just fine. So I stood at my post prepared to warn everyone to bail off if they began to slide dangerously towards the post. 

At this point, you probably have a good idea how this story is going to end.

Shortly after the group on the large tube began descending down the hill, it quickly became evident that they were headed straight towards the fixed post I was meekly guarding. And despite my screams to bail off, the tube was sliding too rapidly and everything was happening too quickly and loudly for anyone to be able to hear me, much less react in time.

     As a result...

SMACK!  

The tube hit the post straight on with an eerie "THUD" as five or six teenagers went flying off the tube in all directions. In the immediate aftermath of what seemed like a massacre of my peers, the passengers who had been flung off the tube after colliding with the post began to stand up, gain their bearings, and reorient themselves after the accident.

That was the GOOD NEWS.

The BAD NEWS was that ONE of the boys who had made impact with the post did not get up. Laying on his back in the snow, he was quickly surrounded by all of us as we sought to comprehend how badly he had been injured. Complaining of pain in his hip, this seventeen or eighteen year-old senior in high school lay motionless atop the cold snow.

I had a pit in my stomach as I looked at him sprawled out helplessly on the ground. This boy was on the varsity basketball team at the time and while his injuries were not fatal, they were serious enough that his senior basketball season was likely over; he would miss the playoffs and probably require several months of care and healing for whatever he broke or otherwise injured, which turned out to be his hip.    

As you can imagine, I felt some responsibility in the accident because I had failed to more vehemently voice my concerns about the potential path of the tube. In hindsight, I should have loudly and clearly voiced my opposition to the plan, citing the potential for a serious accident—or alerted the adult leaders to our proposed plan and pointed out my concerns. I also should have refused to take part in the plan, since my participation lent tacit approval of the foolhardy undertaking.

I recognize my peers may have made the same choice with or without my blessing and participation. After all, I cannot control what other people choose to do. Nevertheless, my conscience remained pained, and I have sincerely wished ever since that I been a stronger and more courageous leader in the situation. I publicly apologize to Aaron Bronson (the injured young man) and my other peers for failing them in this regard.  

I learned an important leadership lesson that day. When someone I know is proceeding down a pathway fraught with danger, I owe it to them to attempt to dissuade them from pursuing such a path; and I certainly shouldn't aid or abet their dangerous plans if they decide to proceed against my warnings. I believe such preventative actions amount to moral obligations—even imperatives—that self-action leaders owe to others. I regret that I fell short in my obligations in this instance, and am saddened and sorry that it led to a serious injury of one of my peers—who was a great guy even though he didn't always make the wisest decisions while tubing down a snowy slope!  

The next time a family member, friend, or associate is headed toward likely danger, I invite MYSELF and others (including YOU) to stand up and be a strong leader of principle by seeking to dissuade them in their course. Moreover, I encourage you to always listen to and hearken that Inner Voice of conscience within that will usually warn you of impending dangers or even disasters that may cross your path or the pathways of those you love. If you get in the habit of heeding that Inner Voice, I promise your life will be safer, sounder, and more successful.  

I know mine has.   


Dr. JJ

March 29, 2023
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 314th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 140th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 313 FF Blog Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES.  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS.   

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

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Wednesday, March 22, 2023

The Riches of my Rural Roots

I was born August 21, 1979 in Monticello, Utah, USA
Also known as the "Base of the Blues"
When it comes to obscure locales in the United States of America, it's tough to get more inconspicuous than my birthplace of Monticello, Utah.

Situated at the base of the Blue Mountains in the southeastern corner of the state, mingled in the "Four Corners" area of the Intermountain Western region of the country, Monticello has rarely boasted more than two thousand (2,000) residents since its founding in 1888 by four men (and their families), one of which (George A. Adams) is my great-great grandfather.   

I grew up in the middle of nowhere, and it was WONDERFUL!
At left with my older brother Joe (right) jeeping with our dad
in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado.
If you took a map of the Western United States and placed a dot on Salt Lake City, Denver, Albuquerque, Phoenix, and Las Vegas—and then circumscribed those five dots—you would essentially find Monticello smack in the middle of the circle, placing it a nearly five (5) hour drive from the nearest major metropolitan area in any direction.  

When I was growing up in Monticello in the 1980s and 90s, there were no traffic lights, no McDonald's, and no Wal-Mart—and to this day there is still no McDonalds or Wal-Mart, although the town does boast ONE traffic light!

If you wanted to eat at a chain restaurant or shop at Wally World, you had to drive an hour away to Cortez, Colorado. If you needed an advanced medical or dental procedure done, you had to drive two hours away to either Durango, Colorado or Farmington, New Mexico. And if you wanted to get to a major university or attend a professional sporting event, you were looking at a 4-5 hour drive.  

That's just the way life was! 

Bereft of city attractions, we'd go on drives up the
mountain for fun. With my sister Jessie.
For some, this is an unacceptable modus of living. For others, it is the only way to live!

For me, it was simply where I happened to enter the stage of life. And while it is unlikely that I would ever live in Monticello again, I wouldn't change anything about my birth or upbringing even if I could!

Indeed, I am proud of my roots and thankful for the exceeding riches that were made abundantly available to me by virtue of my rural upbringing. Moreover, one of the joys of my life is to return to my home town and county, excursions which always serve to "restore my soul."

The purpose of today's article is to share what some of those riches are, and to point out the ways in which they positively influenced and otherwise imbued my development as a self-action leader.

Natural rock arches and other unique sandstone formations
are common in the "Canyon Country" where I grew up
While Monticello may suffer from an extreme lack of urban amenities, it is inversely endowed with a bounteous cornucopia of nature's wonders.

Nestled at the base of the Blue Mountains, which rise to nearly 12,000 feet above sea level, and located within a few hours drive of numerous state and national parks, monuments, forests, and other geographic wonders, you would be hard-pressed to find its equal in terms of its plentiful access to the natural world with all of its enriching, ennobling, and picturesque accoutrements. As a result, residents of Monticello need merely glance out their home windows—or walk outside their front door—to access visual, aural, and olfactory endowments that city dwellers often have to drive many hours to access.  

Dam/lake construction and mud fight
with my cousin Preston Bunker (left).
I grew up smack dab in the middle of all of these wonders.

Moreover, I was uniquely blessed because my dad was a landowner, which meant that instead of a traditional, small, fenced backyard that fit neatly behind my home, my backyard spanned hundreds of acres—and later on thousands of acres—of forested desert hills and meadows complete with rivers, ponds, deer, rabbits, chipmunks, etc. It was an absolute wonderland for a young lad growing up, and I put the land to good use hiking, running, camping, exploring, tree-climbing, swimming/wading, mud-fighting, fire-building, shooting, hunting, four-wheeling, fort-building, apple picking, group dating, etc. 

Camping with my brother Joe and our dad.
I don't know how many hours or adventures I enjoyed on "The Land" over the years, but the number extended well into the triple-digits, and I deeply cherish the memories of those many excursions. And this does not even count the trips to the mountains, lakes, canyons, State and National parks, monuments, forests, and other wondrous locations scintillating to the eye and pleasing to the spirit. From Boy Scout activities and camps to family trips into the mountains and deserts; and from adventures with friends to excursions with girls (group dates), we didn't waste our opportunities—nor did we take them for granted.

My adventures in the great outdoors included: camping, hiking, swimming, fishing, hunting, shooting, rappelling, sledding/tubing, cross-country skiing, four-wheeling, snowmobiling, horseback riding, mountain biking, off-road jeeping, feeding and caring for animals, farming, gardening, kayaking, canoeing, motor boating, water skiing, and cliff jumping, among other endeavors I might be forgetting.

My own personal garden on a lot adjacent our home.
All of these activities provided me with many rich memories that were almost always positive. There was the odd exception of course, like the time a bunch of us teenagers from church went tubing in the wintertime and one of the boys (not me) ended up breaking his hip when he hit a stationary object on his way down the hill—a story for another time, perhaps even in NEXT WEEK'S ARTICLE.

My dad was an adventurer at heart and he LOVED to hit to open road. I was fortunate to accompany him on many travel excursions as a result. Sometimes these events were short trips lasting less than a day and would involve going shooting, or visiting a ghost town, or just enjoying the beautiful countryside and stopping for a candy bar and soda at a convenient store along the way.  

REX Buckley and his namesake, Jordan REX
Other trips were more involved and would last for several days or even a week or more. Three such opportunities enabled me to cross significant swaths of the United States with my Dad, enabling us to visit a host of historical sites and other points of interest, including large cities (Denver, Chicago, Cleveland, New York City, Washington D.C., St. Louis, etc.) and other famous locales like Yellowstone National Park, Redwood National Forest, and the Gateway Arch.  

As a little boy, I greatly admired my Dad's ability to build and develop things. As a result, I became a loyal "Daddy's boy" who sought to be by the side of my father every chance I got. I especially enjoyed accompanying him on road trips, visits to the hardware store, or when he was engaged in a construction or other work project. It made me feel important to be by my dad's side at such moments during my childhood.

The construction of the Loyd's Lake earthen dam in Monticello
in the mid-1980s.  Dad's brown CJ-7 jeep in the foreground.
In addition to his love for building things himself, Dad also took enormous interest in the construction projects of others; and the bigger the better! Whether it was a home, subdivision, building, skyscraper, bridge, dam, or something else, Dad took interest if it was under construction. The two of us were particularly fascinated by the construction of earthen dams—and loved to visit dam sites under construction to observe the progress that was being made thereon.

In the mid-1980s, an earthen dam was built just outside our hometown of Monticello to capture snow melt runoff from the nearby Blue Mountains for community use throughout the year. During the dam's construction, Dad would drive up every few days to check on its progress and I would often accompany him. After the dam had been completed and began to fill up, we would place little rock cairns a few feet away from the water's edge and then return a few days later to see if the lake had risen sufficiently to cover up our cairn. Such was our makeshift method of measuring the progress of the new lake's steady rise. These were good times that produced cherished memories to last forever.  

Donning the English Bobby's hat my dad brought
home from England in the mid 1960s.
My dad was an extraordinary man in possession of an incredibly curious mind, a sharp intellect, and an eclectic array of hobbies and interests. Despite his rural upbringing and career in construction, he was also well-traveled and highly educated. In addition to being a General Contractor, he also spent two decades in the formal classroom teaching middle and high school English. He also spent two years in England as a young missionary and returned home with a treasure trove of souvenirs, including an English Bobby's helmet, the Complete Works of William Shakespeare—bound in leather and published in the late nineteenth century—and an array of other literary masterpieces penned by great British writers and poets of yesteryear. 

Knowing how much I love these books of his, Dad decided a few years back at Christmas time to gift me poetic anthologies of Longfellow and Wordsworth—published in 1912 and 1888, respectively—which now stand as two of the most cherished volumes in my thousand-plus book personal library. With degrees in English and communications—and being an avid reader of books, news, and other material throughout his life—Dad was without question one of the most gifted and stimulating conversationalists I have ever known. On road trips, we would talk for hours on end with hardly a pause or break in our dialogue. These conversations were intellectually stimulating and uplifting to my mind and heart.

Dad was also incredibly inquisitive. I discovered this along the pathways of our many excursions together, for whenever we would meet other people, he would pepper them with an array of questions in a sincere desire to learn all he could about their trade, profession, education, background, interests, and expertise. It was clear he loved to learn and on our longer trips, we would keep track of new vocabulary words we were learning together, in conjunction with trip statistics such as miles covered each day. 

With Mama after moving to the city.
When I was seven (7) years old, we moved to the city (suburban Phoenix, AZ). During this time, I shifted to become more of a "Mama's boy." This was not hard to do because my mother was an incredibly loving parent and person who was as extraordinary as my dad in her own unique ways. Aside from raising seven children to successful adulthood, who in-turn bore her and my dad 31 grandchildren, my mom was also a skilled craftswoman and a successful saleswoman, store owner, church and community leader, actress, vocalist, teacher, artist, writer, college graduate, and entrepreneur.

Indeed, the combined talents and abilities of my parents amounts to a staggering reservoir of personal and professional gifts and I credit them openly and appreciatively for passing such a treasure trove of genetic and mimetic gifts on to me and my brothers and sisters, all seven of whom have been profoundly influenced and impacted thereby.    

After seven years in Arizona, we returned to Monticello. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I would remain close to both my father and my mother. This was due in part to the onset of OCD in seventh grade, which stunted much of my social growth and development throughout my high school years. One blessing of this social retardation was my maintenance of close relationships—even dear friendships—with both of my parents, with whom I spent a great deal of time as both a child and adolescent.

Helping my dad and brothers get wood up the mountain.
In addition to the wonderful outdoor adventures I enjoyed growing up in Monticello, I was further blessed with opportunities to engage in hard, productive, manual labor. As previously mentioned, Dad was a general contractor and an ambitious man by nature. As his fifth and youngest son, I was blessed with many opportunities to work hard and expend a great deal of sweat equity by his side; and it was good for me—and my future!

These manual labor opportunities included: gardening, weeding, mowing, pruning, cultivating, and construction. Aside from yard work at our own home and that of my paternal grandparents, my dad also owned an apartment complex and my brothers and I were responsible for tending the yards.

At home with five trampolines set up; four (4) of which were for sale.
(I am in the front center wearing a navy shirt and turned to the side)
As you can see, Dad was more than just a general contractor; he was a rural renaissance man! Among his many different vocations and interests, he was unquestionably an entrepreneur. For example, one year, he decided he would sell trampolines; and guess who his setup crew was? 

You guessed it: his five sons! 

I don't remember how long this particular project lasted, but I do remember helping my brothers set up a number of trampolines for various villagers around town—and beyond! I was not strong enough at the time to be able to stretch the springs like my brothers, but I would still tag along and help out wherever I could.  

Building a log cabin with my dad and brothers in the summer of 1985
(I am on the far right [third from right] wearing a navy shirt)
Speaking of tagging along and helping out wherever I could, I spent the summer of 1985 helping my dad and brothers build a cabin on our land. I was only five-going-on-six, but assisted regularly, earning the title of "Fetch-it," my job being to "fetch" whatever tools my dad or brothers needed at any given moment.

I earned $40 for my labor that summer, $20 of which my dad put into my "mission fund." I was free to spend the other $20 however I chose, with $4 being tithed to my church.

Later on, as a teenager, I received many additional opportunities to work manual labor jobs doing a variety of different tasks, including: construction, groundskeeping, varmint extermination, wood hauling, chopping, stacking, and wood stove fire-stoking, painting, fence-building, farming (dry-wheat), ranching, food catering, flyer distribution, shelf-installation, serving on cleanup crews for wrecked semi-trucks, and an array of service projects with my local church and scout troop.

Admiring my first pay check for summer's work, 1985
These work opportunities provided me with wonderful adventures. But they also taught me that I didn't want to do manual labor as an adult professional. This helps to explain why I thought I had died and gone to heaven when, in 10th grade, I got my first job as a professional writer covering sports, city council meetings, and other community events for a local weekly newspaper! And why I ended up pursuing a doctoral degree later on.

Despite making a conscious decision to pursue a professional, white-collar career, I still enjoy aspects of manual labor to this day. This explains why I experienced such joy building a brick garden box in the backyard of Lina's and my first home in Houston, Texas, and why I enjoyed doing yard work around our home as much as I did. 

Brick garden box I built in the backyard
of Lina's and my first home in Houston, Texas.


Upon moving to Florida a couple of years ago, I confess that we bought a home in a community where yard work is performed by professionals hired by the HOA, and I'm not gonna lie—these days, I'm okay with that!

I confess further that at this point in my personal and professional life, I look to avoid manual labor when and where possible because it simply isn't an effective use of my time as a writer, speaker, teacher, and business builder.

Despite this reality, you probably won't be surprised to learn that one of my retirement dreams is to buy a 10-15 acre plot of land and spend my free-time "playing" on my land with tools such as an axe, chainsaw, wood shredder, shovel, rake, a cement mixer, trowel, and a backhoe! Yep... someday I'm gonna build me something akin to a Secret Garden and Fort, and putting my shoulder to the wheel throughout the process is gonna be one of the joys of my golden years.

Minute Maid Park; Houston, Texas
It's tough to see a Major League Baseball
game in a small town.

You've heard the saying: "The only difference between a man and a boy is the size of his toys." Well, I daresay there is a lot of truth to that! My wife thinks I'm crazy—and she is right; I am CRAZY... besides what ails me. But bless her heart; she is okay with me pursuing my dream—assuming we can afford it.  

To date, I have actually spent about 70% of my life living in cities/suburbs, including: Mesa, Arizona; Spokane, Washington; Provo, Utah; Edmonton & Calgary, Alberta, Canada; Atlanta, Georgia; Houston, Texas; St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada; Houston, Texas (again); and now West Palm Beach, Florida area.

And realistically, I'll live most (if not all) of the rest of my life in cities as well. 

Helping my brother Wayne with his Eagle Scout project.
I am in the back standing and wearing an orange shirt.
Despite this fact, there will always be a piece of the country in this city boy. As the old saying goes: "You can take the boy out of the country; but you can't take the country out of the boy!"

And I think that is a good thing.

Another benefit of my rural upbringing was the quality of character that existed in many of the people I associated with growing up. As a wise man once told me: "You have been blessed to be born in these small mountain communities where good examples are prevalent."

I earned my own Eagle Scout award
in 1997. My Eagle project was to build
a bench next to my brother's in the same
park in Monticello.
Boy was he right!  

From parents and siblings to aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, scout leaders, and church leaders, it seems as though from the moment I was born I was surrounded by an entire family, neighborhood, church congregation, school, and community of individuals with stellar character. Of course nobody is perfect; but some people are certainly more fortunate than others when it comes to who they are allotted to spend their time with in their earliest and most impressionable years.

I, for one, was sublimely blessed in this regard.    

My rural upbringing is a part of who I am; and it will always remain that way. I am proud of my roots and upbringing, and I am grateful for the riches of my rural roots.

Small town living is not without its downsides. You obviously have fewer social options and urban amenities. You may also experience various challenges that may arise from everybody knowing everybody else in the community. On the flip side, however, city dwelling is not perfect either. You usually have less immediate access to the wonders of the natural world, and urbanites may sometimes wish that their neighbors cared a little more than they do... as rural dwellers tend to be more neighborly by nature.  

My three children during our time in Carlsbad, NM; 2020.
In the end, I feel immensely blessed to have lived in a vast array of both urban and rural areas. Indeed, in addition to spending 11 years in Monticello, Utah; I've also lived in Gunlock, Utah; Camrose and Innisfail, Alberta, Canada; and Carlsbad, New Mexico. And I've spent time in or passed through countless small towns throughout the United States, Canada, and Great Britain.

This broad array of diverse living experiences has served to richly decorate my life with associates, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and adventures that have, in-turn, woven an incredibly unique, colorful, and vibrant tapestry into the fabric that is my life.  

And I'm only half-way through it!  

I look forward to the next half, and express my undying thanks to God and my family, friends, and neighbors for helping to make my life so wonderful thus far.  


Dr. JJ

March 22, 2023
Homestead, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 313th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 139th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 312 FF Blog Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES.  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS.   

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.  

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Wednesday, March 15, 2023

168 Hours

Do you like yourself? 

     Do you trust yourself?

          Do you enjoy spending time with yourself? 

These are important questions.

Why? 

Because whether you like it or not, you have to spend all of your time with YOURSELF throughout your entire life! As such, it behooves all of us to live our lives in a manner that maximizes the likelihood that we like ourselves, trust ourselves, and enjoy being with ourselves.  

168  *  168  *  168  *  168   168  *  168  *  168

Off the top of your head, does the number "168" mean anything to you? 

If not, it will before you have finished reading today's article. 

If you multiply seven (7) days by twenty-four (24) hours, you get 168. Yep... one-hundred and sixty eight (168) is the number of hours in a week.

You've heard the phrase "24-7"; well, after reading this article, you'll think of it more in terms of 24-7-168.  

To begin, I'm going to give you a little homework assignment to be completed right now. Please get a pen or pencil and a piece of paper (or a note-taking app on your phone). Next, write the number "168" on the top of the page. Then, approximate how many hours each week you spend with the various people in your life.

To illustrate how this works, consider my own results to this little assignment, as follows:

How does Dr. JJ spend his time each week?

55 hours with my wife (asleep)... if she is not traveling for work.
12 hours with my wife (awake)... if she is not traveling for work.
13 hours with my family (wife & kids)... if Lina is not traveling for work
55 hours with my kids
5 hours with friends and neighbors
5 hours with church friends and congregants
23 hours by myself (when kids are at school)
168 hours Total

**************  Now, complete this exercise for yourself  ************** 

Once you have completed this exercise, please complete the same exercise THREE (3) more times, but for different time periods of your life. For example, I am a 43-year old, married, stay-at-home Dad. My hourly breakdown was a lot different when I was 8, 18, and 28 than it is when I'm 43. Moreover, it will look a lot different when I am 53 or 73 than it does when I am 43. 

You will obviously have to rely on your memory to complete this exercise for past periods in your life; and you have have to make some assumptions and guesses when completing this exercise for future periods of your life. That is okay. It doesn't have to be perfectly precise; just approximate the best you can. 

**************  Now, complete this exercise for yourself  ************** 

After completing FOUR (4) different time period breakdowns, you will notice that different periods of life differ significantly in terms of how you spend your time, and especially as it relates to other people. For example, you are likely to spend a lot more time with your friends and other peers when you are young than when you are middle-aged or elderly. And you are more likely to spend a lot more time with your kids if you are a stay-at-home parent than if you work full-time outside of the home. 

So... what's the POINT of this exercise? 

The point is pretty simple, and that is to draw attention to an inescapable FACT that every single one of us must face throughout our lives, and that is this: No matter how much time you spend with other people at any given time period of your life, you have, are, and will yet always spend 168 hours with YOURSELF. 

You talking about me?
That's right... YOU've gotta spend every single
second of your entire life with YOURSELF!
As such, it's pretty important to become the kind of person that you like and enjoy spending time with!

If you look back at my own list, you will notice that I tallied only twenty-three (23) hours by myself; but the fact is that when I'm spending time with other people, I'm also technically spending time with myself as well. So, in other words, no matter what, you cannot escape being with yourself!

This statement of fact may be either good news or bad news depending on how much you like, trust, appreciate, and respect yourself. In reality, however, all of us experience a variety of different emotions about ourselves throughout our lives. As such, one's SELF-ESTEEM is never really static; it is always either progressing positively or regressing negatively.

If, in the main, you have positive feelings about yourself, chances are you may be on the right track headed toward Self-Action Leadership and the glory and joy Existential Growth. If, on the other hand, you mostly have negative feelings about yourself, chances are you may be on the wrong track headed away from Self-Action Leadership and into the abyss of existential atrophy.  

Either way, none of us is perfect; we all have experiences heading in both directions throughout our lives (sometimes in the same day, or even hour!), and can therefore benefit from this POWERFUL mental exercise.

And why is this exercise so powerful? 

Because it affords us opportunities to engage in deep introspective work that can lead towards an improved relationship with ourselves. After all, like it or not, we spend an awful lot of time with ourselves; in fact, we spend all of our time with ourselves—always.  

Stephen R. Covey taught the importance of having a "Rich Inner Life" if we are to find authentic success, happiness, and inner peace in our lives. Covey was spot on in his assessment of the importance of this concept, especially as it relates to self-action leaders.

So what exactly constitutes a "Rich Inner Life"?

There are many answers to this question, but for the sake of this article, I would like to discuss FIVE (5) things we can do as self-action leaders that will contribute to our experiencing an increasingly rich inner life. 

1.  Obtain and then maintain a clear conscience
2.  Cultivate a curious intellect
3.  Nurture your spirituality
4.  Take time to appreciate and enjoy nature
5.  Wisely spend your "alone time"

First
, obtain and then maintain a clear conscience

Each and every one of us has to live with one's own conscience. No one can escape this reality. But each of us can choose to live in ways that ensure our conscience is as clear and clean as possible and then trusting that serendipity and grace will take care of whatever lies beyond our control. 

There are few (if any) greater blessings in life than to be able to lay your head down on your pillow at night with a clear conscience in your relationships with other people and God. Even non-religious persons experience guilt, and it is never a pleasant emotion. To paraphrase a couple of wise men long since passed away: "You simply cannot do wrong and feel right," and "A man must live with his conscience."

 And in the words of Glen Campbell: "There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience." 

“There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience.”

– Glen Campbell

Self-action leaders strive to live their lives and pursue their careers in as guilt-free a manner as possible. By so doing, they are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually liberated to expend their energy on more pleasant emotions, such as joy, love, pleasure, satisfaction, and inner peace. They understand that a clear conscience comes with a price which must be paid for in effort in the form of upright conduct and repentance in the wake of errors. They also comprehend the difference between authentic guilt and neurotic guilt. The former is healthy and leads us to make necessary course changes and perform restitution (insofar as possible) when we have misstepped. The latter is an indication that we may need to seek help—or at the very least, apply a measure of self-help so we can come to better see things as they really are, avoid being unnecessarily hard on ourselves, or otherwise experiencing excess amounts of guilt or shame.  

Second
, cultivate a curious intellect. Intellectually curious people aren't afraid to be alone; in fact, they often crave solitude because it allows them to read widely and deeply in conjunction with studying, writing, pondering, and reflecting. Self-action leaders typically find enormous pleasure, satisfaction, an fulfillment in nurturing their intellect, and they are creative and flexible in their approach to satiating healthy desires to grow and expand their cognitive capabilities. They read. They study. They observe. They ask questions. They search and research. They ponder. They reflect. And they do all of these things over and over and over again.   

Third, nurture your spirituality. You do not have to be religious to nurture your spirituality; although it can certainly help if you are. Whether you decide to be part of an official religion, sect, or congregation—or not—there are numerous ways in which you can nurture the spiritual element of your nature, such as: prayer, meditation, conscience attunement, yoga, physical exercise, quiet reflection, psychotherapy, group therapy, nature walks/hikes/camps, interpersonal conversation, volunteer service, etc.

Fourth
, take time to appreciate and enjoy nature. The natural world is brimming with color, life, variety, and natural beauty; take time to notice and enjoy these lavish and ubiquitous natural wonders. In doing so, you don't need to travel far or seek out exotic, foreign destinations; although such adventures can be lovely and refreshing if they fit into your budget and schedule. No matter where you may find yourself throughout this wide world of ours, you can find peace, solace, and healing in nature if you will seek it out. From a blade of grass and a bouquet of flowers to a simple tree or a vibrant ladybug; from a fluffy white cloud or a bright blue sky to a sunrise or sunset, there are so many beautiful and brilliant living things all around us that will bless our lives if we will pay closer attention to them.

“Give me health and a day,
and I will make the pomp of emperors look ridiculous.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've had the opportunity to travel a great deal in my life and career, especially on the North American continent where I've visited all U.S. 50 States, 8 Provinces of Canada, Mexico, Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Along the way I have come to appreciate the natural beauties of nature wherever I've gone. Nature provides a rich and an illustrious cornucopia of majestic blessings just waiting for us to enjoy them—if only we will!

One of the things that often surprises me is how empty nature trails are—even in areas of high population density. While this is nice for me personally, it also makes me sad that more people do not take more advantage of getting out to walk, run, or otherwise take in the fresh and fragrant essences of the natural world. Self-action leaders comprehend the extraordinary riches to be found in nature and are quick to spontaneously partake of those riches whenever they have the chance.  

Fifth
, wisely spend your "alone time." Many people are loathe to spend time alone; some are even fearful of the prospect of being all by themselves. This sense of personal insecurity causes them to feel the need to constantly surround themselves with other people, things, or media stimuli. Self-action leaders, however, not only value solitude; they learn to appreciate and even crave it. They understand how enormously productive and therapeutic it can be to spend "quiet time"away from people and other distractions (including media distractions). They crave the opportunity to think, read, ponder, reflect, etc.  They further comprehend that the ability to healthily spend time away from others makes them a wiser and more pleasant companion when they do spend time with other people.

To recap... our lives are continually changing from one stage to another. But there is one constant that remains the same throughout every stage of our lives—and that is the amount of time we spend with ourselves—168 out of 168 hours of every week for the entirety of our lives.

No matter who we are, where we live, or what we may be doing at any given point in our lives, we cannot escape ourselves; we all spend 168 hours with ourselves every single week of our life. What are YOU doing TODAY to make this fact a more pleasant, productive, prosperous, and peaceful reality?   

Dr. JJ

March 15, 2023
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 312th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 138th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 311 FF Blog Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES.  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS.   

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.  

Click HERE to learn more about Freedom Focused

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Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Life Lessons from Richard Cory & Miniver Cheevy

Avid readers of the Freedom Focused blog know how much I love poetry. 

It is also no secret that my favorite poems were typically published one hundred (100) years or more in the past. One reason for this predilection for aged verse is that poems published over 100 years ago are usually in the public domain, allowing me to republish them in their entirety here on the Freedom Focused blog—something I could not legally do (without permission) with more modern works. 

Another reason I love old fashioned poems is because they are often the best ones available when it comes to teaching Self-Action Leadership (SAL) principles and practices.

Plenty of poetry has been published in the past hundred years. This is especially true if you count musical lyrics from popular songs, raps, etc. This more modern verse, however, is less likely to address issues involving SAL, which is why we reflexively turn to the masters of yore when searching for SAL-based poetry. Perhaps our efforts will, in time, inspire a renaissance of original modern poetry focused on character and virtue that will yet be published in the twenty-first century—works like Dr. JJ's Psalms of Life: A Poetry CollectionIn the meantime, we are thrilled to resurrect the masters of ages past whose wisdom continues to resonate down through the corridors of time to positively and productively inform our present day.  

Edwin Arlington Robinson
British Poet
1869-1935
Two of the more poignant, piercing, and penetrating works of poetry from the early twentieth century were written by the American poet, Edwin Arlington Robinson (1869-1935), and are entitled: "Richard Cory" and "Miniver Cheevy." 

The first poem (Richard Cory) tells the story of a rich, handsome, and much admired man who appears to have it all, only to inexplicably commit suicide during the seeming pinnacle of his own popularity, prestige, and prosperity. 

The second poem (Miniver Cheevy) recounts the tale of a seemingly ambitious man who harbored big dreams for his future—but sadly, failed to ever take any committed or concrete action toward realizing his hopes and goals in the PRESENT.  

The climaxing events in both poems are profoundly sad—even tragic. Indeed, readers of either or both poems cannot help but find themselves deeply drawn into the stories that unfold, only to end up shaking their heads in surprise, dismay, and disappointment at the choices made by the two poems' respective protagonists. Readers can thank Robinson's gifted pen for producing such vivid and chilling storytelling through verse.  

The power in these two poems comes in the cautionary tales they provide to us as readers. If we are honest with ourselves, we can probably identify vestiges of both Richard and Miniver in our own life's attitudes and experiences. Wise self-action leaders will acknowledge this reality and proactively take whatever actions are needed to circumvent the awful fate that befell both Cory and Cheevy.  

With that introduction, let's turn now to the POEMS themselves...

Richard Cory

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favoured, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich—yes, richer than a king—
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

...............

As I shake my own head in dismay at this extraordinarily jarring and sudden turn of events, which is such a dramatic 180 from the first 15 lines of a 16-line poem, I am reminded of the words of a famous hymn...

"Who am I to judge another
When I walk imperfectly?
In the quiet heart is hidden
Sorrow that the eye can’t see."

From the HYMN: Lord I Would Follow Thee


Miniver Cheevy

Miniver Cheevy, child of scorn,
   Grew lean while he assailed the seasons;
He wept that he was ever born,
   And he had reasons.

Miniver loved the days of old
   When swords were bright and steeds were prancing;
The vision of a warrior bold
   Would set him dancing.

Miniver sighed for what was not,
   And dreamed, and rested from his labors;
He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot,
   And Priam's neighbors.

Miniver mourned the ripe renown
   That made so many a name so fragrant;
He mourned Romance now on the town,
   And Art, a vagrant.

Miniver loved the Medici,
   Albeit he had never seen one;
He would have sinned incessantly
   Could he have been one.

Miniver cursed the commonplace
   And eyed a khaki suit with loathing;
He missed the mediæval grace
   Of iron clothing.

Miniver scorned the gold he sought
   But sore annoyed was he without it;
Miniver thought, and thought, and thought,
   And thought about it.

Miniver Cheevy, born too late,
   Scratched his head and kept on thinking;
Miniver coughed, and called it fate,
   And kept on drinking.

...............

In what ways might you presently—no matter how minimally—be falling prey to those thoughts, speech, and actions that led to the doom of Richard Cory and/or the underachievement of Miniver Cheevy?

For example, are you, like Richard, struggling with depression or other mental, emotional, or social malaise that could, if left unaddressed, lead you down a dark pathway you would rather avoid? If so, what are you doing to help yourself and, if necessary, seek out the assistance of others to aid in your plight?

In the end, there is very little use in blaming anyone else for how your life turns out. Excuses are like armpits; everyone has them and they all tend to stink! Self-action leaders are big believers in regularly applying liberal quantities of existential deodorant in the form of personal responsibility for their lives and careers—even, and perhaps especially, in the face of difficulties and unfairness. Even if a given misfortune truly is somebody else's fault, blaming your problems on other people or circumstances rarely helps lift you out of those circumstances; it takes creativity and proactivity to accomplish that.  

On the other hand, do you, like Miniver Cheevy, ever over-romanticize the past, harbour grandiose dreams that are unrealistic, or get your hopes up for things you are unwilling to tangibly work towards? If so, how might you begin to alter your thoughts, speech, and actions TODAY in ways that will bring you down from the clouds of dreamland and set you on the pathway toward real achievements within your present reach?  

I firmly believe that no one who has ever lived set out to purposely fail in their lives, careers, or relationships. But let's face it: LIFE is HARD. And it doesn't really matter who you are or where you were born; everyone faces their own, unique demons and difficulties in their lives. Such challenges have ultimately overtaken and consumed countless individuals throughout the ages—and every lost soul is a tragedy.

That is the bad news

Be the Captain of Your own Ship
Take Responsibility for your Life
The GOOD NEWS is that YOU and I do not have to end up like Richard Cory or Miniver Cheevy. We have the ability and power to chart a different course—no matter what trials we may have faced, currently face, or will yet face in the future. If we are willing to look at ourselves in the mirror and honestly assess our own present reality, we can begin the process of effectively confronting whatever adversity we may face so that we might ultimately turn things around to live a meaningful and satisfying life—however challenge-laden or imperfect it may be along the way.   

What are you choosing to do with your life? 

Are you headed down a dangerous road like Richard Cory or Miniver Cheevy? Or are you claiming the Captaincy of your own ship and taking charge of your future? 

In the end, the CHOICE is YOURS.

What will you choose?  

Dr. JJ

March 8, 2023
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 311th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 137th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 310 FF Blog Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES.  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS.   

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.  

Click HERE to learn more about Freedom Focused

Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Jordan Jensen

Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

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