You Tell on Yourself

As human beings, we are all OPEN BOOKS that continually

provide clues to others about who we are and what we value

based on what we choose to think about, say, and do in our lives.

Today's post features a cherished SAL poem from days of yore, which is, of course, where most of my favorite poems come from! 

Before I share this wonderful poem, I'd like to ask you a question:

Did you know that you are always TELLING on YOURSELF?

That's right... 

Whether you are conscious of it or not, you are continually spilling the beans about who and what you really are to everyone with whom you meet and associate. Everything you say and do—and everything you don't say and do—provides clues to others about your background, education, personality, character, desires, opinions, viewpoints, etc.    

And did you know that your attitude and actions speak more clearly, cogently, and concisely—in other words, more accurately and authentically—about YOU than your words could ever hope or dream to do—even for the slyest of silver-tongued wordsmiths? 

In other words, whether you know it or not and whether you like it or not, you are a relatively OPEN BOOK for others to read, peruse, study, and scrutinize at their leisure. And other people are always reading, perusing, studying, and or sizing-you-up from their own unique frames of reference. 

It is also true, of course, that the vantage points of others come packaged in varying degrees of accuracy based on the extent and integrity of their own unique experiences, education, and character; which is why self-action leaders are cautious and disciplined in determining whose vantage points they choose to care about and heed. They understand that YOU end up becoming like those people whose opinion you care about most!  

Who are the five people whose opinion and view of you do YOU care about most?  

This simple question is an introspective SAL query worth pondering.  

Are you more committed to a virtual (fictional) reality
about your life and career than you are to reality itself?

My purpose in exposing these truths today is not to induce within you a panic attack, or to dissuade you from ever going out into public again (SMILE). My objective is simply to encourage you to reflect upon this REALITY and then consider whether the story your current attitude and actions is telling is the tale you want to be told. 

After all, one of the single most telling hallmarks of self-action leaders is their determined and continual dedication to REALITY—no matter what. Such dedication is a strong indicator of common sense, self-security, and mental hygiene. As M. Scott Peck, M.D. so incisively declared: Mental health is dedication to reality at all costs. (1)  

"Mental health is dedication to reality at all costs."

—M. Scott Peck, M.D.  

My Grandfather Smith holding my mother,

circa 1948. Hyrum W. Smith, co-founder of

FranklinCovey Company, my Mom's older

brother, is the little boy in the bottom right.

When my mother was growing up, her father (my maternal grandfather) had a saying he used to repeat to his seven children, and it went like this:

"Don't judge other people; but remember that they will always judge you."

One of my favorite poems from yesteryear further captures and articulates this principle. This poem is sometimes labeled as "Anonymous," although Marie Losavio has also been cited as its author.  

It goes like this: 

You Tell on Yourself

You tell on yourself by the friends you seek,
    By the very manner in which you speak,

By the way you employ your leisure time,

    By the use you make of dollar and dime,

You tell what you are by the things you wear,

   By the spirit in which your burdens you bear,

By the kinds of things at which you laugh,

    By the records you play on the phonograph,

You show what you are by the way you walk,

    By the things of which you delight to talk,

By the manner in which you bear defeat,

    By so simple a thing as how you eat,

By the books you choose from the well-filled shelf:

    In these ways and more, you tell on yourself.

So, there really is no particle of sense,

    In an effort to keep up false pretense.

Despite the TRUTH and REALITY contained in this insightful and playful poem, it never ceases to amaze me the lengths people will go to try and hide the truth and cultivate pretenses in an effort to mask reality— instead of owning up to and then dealing with it.

However temporarily painful it may be to fess up—and face up—to reality and the truth, my life's experiences have taught me that it is infinitely preferable to the disastrous long-term consequences of continually dealing in deceit or sticking your head in the sand. Moreover, the achievements, growth, and joy that accompany a complete dedication to reality and truth are worth more than any monetary price you could possibly attach thereto.  

Freedom Focused is eternally dedicated to TRUTH & REALITY—about ourselves and everything else in the world and universe. The sooner we choose to dedicate ourselves more fully to such things, the sooner we can progress along our way to higher levels of Existential Growth, which is where we can access the greatest degrees of real FREEDOM.   

How dedicated are you to REALITY and the TRUTH? 

I invite you to consider this question and ponder the honest answers thereto. As you do so, I further invite you to be courageous in identifying where you may be dealing in deceit or putting your head in the sand in your own life and/or career—and what deleterious consequences you are suffering (or may yet suffer) as a result. Finally, I invite you to consider how you might make one, small, but important step towards a fuller embrace of reality and truth in your life and career—TODAY.    

I promise you will not regret making such efforts, but will rather reap the delicious fruit borne of your willingness to live more fully according to the way things really are.   

—Dr. JJ

November 30, 2022

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 294th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 123rd consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 293 FF Blog Articles.  

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Notes:

1.  Peck, M.S. (1978). The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth. New York, NY: Touchstone. Page 289.