In a previous article,
Dr. JJ's 13 Rules for Living were shared.
This week's blog post addresses Dr. JJ's RULE #9, which states:
Develop reasoned responses to life's two great imposters—Triumph & Disaster.*
At the famed address of SW19 in London, England, in the inner sanctum of the most famous tennis venue in the world (Wimbledon), is a quote from the famous British author and poet, Rudyard Kipling. The quote comes from Kipling's famous poem, If, and reads: "If you can meet with triumph and disaster and treat those two imposters just the same."
"IF YOU CAN MEET WITH TRIUMPH AND DISASTER, AND TREAT THOSE TWO IMPOSTERS JUST THE SAME"
Click HERE to see a picture of this quote INSIDE the Wimbledon Stadium.
Click HERE to see a picture of this quote OUTSIDE the Wimbledon Stadium.
This quote is a reminder that even the greatest champions (à la
Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal, and Novak Djokovic) face their share of failures in life, and that the extent of their happiness and success in the long run is, to a large extent, determined not so much by how much they win or lose, but by how they
respond to both winning and losing.
Kipling's caveat is a caution against extremes. It's great to win and self-action leaders should enjoy the natural, positive feelings that accompany winning. Likewise, losing is unpleasant, and self-action leaders should afford those natural feelings of disappointment and sadness their due. But beyond that, a self-action leader's primary aim should be a consistent exercise of balance, grace, humility, sportsmanship, and class—WIN or lose.
 |
Great performers are continually improving
and polishing their performances. |
Kipling's caveat is also a reminder that
both winning and losing are typically temporary states of being. This is another reason we should not allow ourselves to be unduly impacted by the result of a given game, competition, or other life endeavor. It also explains why great champions often live by the following mantra: "You are only as great as your
next performance."
"YOU are only as great as your NEXT performance."
—Mantra of Champions
It can be tempting at times to base too much of your inner security and emotional balance on a given outcome in your life or career. I remember as a junior in high school thinking: "If I can just win the State cross-country meet, I will have arrived and my life will be set." As rewarding and satisfying as that particular victory was for me as a teenager, the reality of course is that life goes on after the grandest of victories. Indeed, it doesn't take more than a few days for the initial sheen of a great victory to begin to wear off. And the more time that passes, the more obscure a given victory becomes in the forefront of one's life and mind. And that is as it should be. Self-action leaders strive consciously and diligently to avoid the "Uncle Rico Syndrome"** of living in the past.
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Marrying Lina was an AMAZING dream come true;
But it was much more a beginning than ending to my life's journey. |
I experienced something similar when it came to pursuing romance in my life.
If I can just get Lina to be my bride, we can ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
I'll be set!
As cool as it was to actually win Lina's heart and get her to marry me—and as cool as it still is to be married to Lina each and every day—the reality is that life goes on day-after-day and continues to provide me with continual obligations and stresses that must be met and managed. In other words, even at life's very best, the purpose of our existence is not to live out an uninterrupted string of unending bliss. Nor is our objective to always win and never lose.
What then, is our purpose?
As a self-action leader, your primary purpose is personal and professional learning, experience, and GROWTH. And the formula for growth involves continually learning right from wrong and then striving to the best of your ability to do what is right. As I consistently do what is right over long periods of time, I find that I obtain happiness, joy, and peace, all of which come as a by-product of living a good life, serving others, and contributing to the greater good as much as I can.
So the next time you win at something, try to remain modest by keeping your victory in perspective. And the next time you lose at something, try to maintain perspective by not letting your loss tarnish your self-esteem or inner security, or unduly impact your mental, emotional, or spiritual homeostasis.
 |
We sometimes mistaken fool's gold, or even real
gold, as being more important than the truly
GOLDEN things that matter most in life. |
Remember also that some victories matter a LOT more than others. For example, as important and valuable as I once
believed my State cross-country title
was, it does not even compare to the
actual importance and infinite value of my victory in love and marriage to my best friend Lina. Similarly, the worth of my All-American citation in college track and field pales in comparison to the value of my college degrees.
It is also worth noting that you usually learn more when you lose than when you win. Learning from losing doesn't take away the pain, but it can add meaning—and therefore value—to a loss. Moreover such lessons are essential along the pathway to eventual victory.
I have always been inspired by Kipling's memorable poem,
If. I close today's article by reprinting this timeless piece of Self-Action Leadership literary GOLD, which can also be found in the
SAL Textbook, Volume II.
 |
Rudyard Kipling
(1865-1936)
1907 Noble Prize Winner (Literature) |
If
By: Rudyard Kipling
(1865-1936)
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And—which is more—you'll be a Man, my son!
NOTE: This article is the 11th in a series of 22 articles on the subject of LIFE RULES.
Click HERE to access quick links to the other 21 articles.
-Dr. JJ
December 8, 2021
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 242nd Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013.
Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 241 FF Blog Articles.
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Notes:
* From Kipling's poem, If.
** Uncle Rico is a fictional character in the movie Napoleon Dynamite who is mentally and emotionally stuck in the early 1980s as a high school senior, despite being a grown man in his 40s living in the early 2000s.
