The Role of Failure in Success

I have been thinking lately about the vital role that failure plays in all of our greatest successes as human beings.

Think about it...

• Abraham Lincoln lost more elections than he won. His career record in politics was 5-6.
• Thomas Edison failed several thousand times before finally discovering the secret to the incandescent light bulb. Along the way, he maintained an incredibly positive and proactive attitude. To wit... when a journalist asked him about his many "failures" to succeed in his quest, Edison corrected the correspondent, saying: "I haven't failed at anything; I've successfully discovered thousands of ways that won't work!"   
• Michael Jordan failed to make his high school's varsity basketball team as a sophomore. He also played seven seasons in the NBA before earning his first World Championship ring.

This same patterns has played out extensively in my own, personal experiences. For example:

• 

  Dr. JJ

  Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) held me captive in a variety of ways for over two decades, but after getting lots of help from others (including professionals), medication, self-help, and plenty of assistance from that Higher Power, the disorder is now effectively managed and under control.  
• I was rejected 130 times by 80 different women before finding success with my amazing wife, Lina. And it was worth the wait, because of all the women I ever dated, she is the best gal for me.    
• I have failed endlessly in my efforts to build my educational business. In fact, to this day, after 18 years of struggle and toil, it still is not fully launched, but I have had a variety of publishing and other successes along the way, and my big break is still out there somewhere just waiting to knock on my door.  

Judging by the patterns articulated above, do you think there is any real doubt in my mind that I will eventually hit the jackpot—one way or another— in my professional pursuits as well?

While there has been no shortage of frustration and discouragement along the way, I remain as confident as ever about my long-term success potential as a writer, speaker, leader, and organizer. Like Edison, I merely view my "failures" as stepping-stones along my never-ending pathways to greater and higher levels of success, service, and contribution.

—Charles Darwin

In adherence to the advice of the famous scientist, Marie Curie, I will persevere until I succeed. Moreover, aware of the great truth declared by the English naturalist, Darwin, I recognize that my capacity for creativity, flexibility, and change are even more important than raw talent or acquired polish.  

One of my oratorical heroes from history is Winston Churchill—who not only saved the world from the evils of Nazi fascism, but did so with two very unique weapons: the persuasive power of the English language and the enormous force of his own personality. 

A young Winston Churchill in uniform at
Sandhurst Military Academy
(i.e. West Point in U.S.)

Despite his enormous legacy of success, Ole' Winston faced his own share of failures and setbacks throughout his life and career. In his early 40s, the Allied disaster at Gallipoli in World War I cost him his career as First Lord of the Admiralty (i.e. Secretary of the Navy in the U.S.). After experiencing a political rebound after the Great War, Churchill found himself on the outside looking in once again throughout much of the 1930s, which are famously referred to as his "Wilderness Years."

But he never gave up trying to use his energy and voice to fight for what he believed was right. And when the time was right, his country called upon him in its hour of greatest need at the outset of World War II—when Western Civilization stood on the brink of collapse from a truly ominous and evil foe.

Despite Churchill's advancing years, which placed him near retirement age in 1940, he took up the reigns of power at a moment of unprecedented importance in the history of Great Britain, Western Europe, and the World-at-large. In the end, Churchill and his Allies came off conquerer over the monstrous Adolf Hitler and his fiendish minions and their unprecedented military might.

Churchill is famous for saying that: "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm."   

"Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm."

— Winston Churchill

Churchill conferring with Roosevelt during World War II

The fascinating thing about this quote is that Churchill—with his famous two-fingered "V"-for victory salute—does not, in the quote, equate success with winning.

He doesn't say: "Success is winning the battle." 

Churchill obviously wanted to win very badly, and was willing to do whatever victory required. Yet victory in and of itself was not the essence of success for Churchill. And it is no secret that the British Empire and the French Republic and their Allies faced their share of difficulties and setbacks during the early years of the worldwide conflict.

No. It was not victory alone that defined success in the eyes of Winston Churchill. What then was the essence of success for this lion of a leader?

CONSISTENT and CONTINUAL EFFORT bolstered by an undeviating and dogged DETERMINATION regardless of the present status of things—THAT was the essence of success for Winston Churchill. And anyone who has carefully studied his steady leadership throughout the crisis years of 1940-1945 know that it was this philosophy that eventually led to the gradual attrition of fascist forces and the ultimate victory for the Allies.     

Cultivating this MINDSET for a holistic and comprehensive commitment to eventual victory—which assumes complete and absolute dedication to a cause all along the way—has been my aim since I was about seven years old, and has demonstrated itself in a variety of passions, desires, and goals. 

I have always set my sights high in my life

It all began as a seven and eight-year-old with a growing desire to do all sorts of things—and do them well! From mastering foreign languages and the art of playing the piano to eventually becoming President of the United States, my goals were many, varied, and always ambitious. Along the way, I would, of course, make it to the NBA, and perhaps win some Olympic Gold Medals as well.

I was very passionate about my undertakings, and genuinely believed that with focus, hard work, and consistency, I could eventually do and/or be just about anything I wanted. I was also blessed with a supporting cast of family members, teachers, and friends, who were typically as positive about my potential as I was. 

Along the way, I gradually grew up—as we all must. As I did, I learned that all human beings have limitations, including myself. I also discovered through experience that I was clearly better suited for some activities than I was for others. For example, while I was passionate (in theory) about foreign languages and the piano, I discovered through trial-and-error that I had very little natural genius or personal proclivity for either activity. Thus, I began to increasingly specialize based on my most prominent in-born aptitudes, personal propensities, and preferred preparations.

At age 8 or 9, I took great pride
in sharing a name with "Air Jordan"

Along the way, I discovered that I possessed an above-average level of athletic coordination and talent. One of my top skills as a youngster was playing basketball, and with a lot of practice, I became a pretty good basketball player. Those who knew me well in elementary school and junior high school will verify this fact. In my own mind I was better than I really was (of course), and I very seriously (albeit naïvely) assumed I would someday play in the NBA. 

Then something interesting happened. During my 9th grade year, my love for basketball began to wane severely. It was the first time I had ever been part of a serious, full-length season of any team sport, and I discovered that my joy of playing with a basketball was greater than my joy of playing on a basketball team (there's a pretty big difference). Consequently, and much to my surprise, I decided not to play on the basketball team after 9th grade and instead focus on a different sport I had always shown promise in—middle distance running. 

Finishing my first 10K at age 8.

With my dreams of playing in the NBA altered by perspective and reality, I set out to discover my potential in cross-country and track. Despite an eventual State Championship medal in high school and an All-American citation in college, I learned over time that I was—at best—only a semi-elite track athlete. Unfortunately, semi-elite athletes don't qualify for the Olympics; nor do they sign professional contracts. 

During my year of collegiate competition, I developed a tremendous admiration and respect for Sebastian Coe of Great Britain. Coe was a former Olympic Champion and world record holder at my two best events—the 800 and 1500 meter runs. 

While watching a documentary about Coe during college, I heard his mother say something about her son that became burned into my soul. She said: "There was always something about Sebastian that drove him to be the very best at whatever he did. If he had not been talented at athletics, he would have found some other activity in which to excel." Mrs. Coe was right! In fact, despite Seb's world champion successes as a runner, he later became a successful politician and the lead organizer of the 2012 Summer Olympic Games in London, England—his home country.  

In light of my failure to reach elite status as a middle distance runner, those words of Tina Angela Coe bolstered my mind, heart, and spirit. I have always believed that I possessed the same kind of internal stuff that had driven Seb Coe, Michael Jordan, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, and Winston Churchill to the very top of their respective fields. The question was: having failed to reach the top (or having become disenchanted with) languages, the piano, politics, basketball, and middle-distance running, what outstanding talents remained whereby I could distinguish myself and serve others? 

Over the years, the answer to this question became crystal clear: writing, speaking, organizing, and leadership. As an adult, I have therefore chased after these new ambitions with the same vigor, vim, and joy that I pursued many of my previous pursuits. Moreover, I have discovered that in the long-run, the service I can provide to others through these endeavors is at least as satisfying—if not more so—than whatever personal achievements and rewards I receive for my individual exertions.  

To date, I've published six books and a dissertation, hundreds of articles in newspapers, periodicals, and academic journals, and 220 blog articles. I've spent approximately 10,000 hours composing with my pen, and approximately 5,000 hours speaking publicly all over the English-speaking world. Lastly, I've gained extensive experience leading, managing, and organizing in a variety of different positions and settings. 

Success is a Journey, not a destination

Despite all that, I still haven't caught my "Big Break" as an entrepreneurial business builder. But that's okay. 

Why is it okay?

It's okay because I've already enjoyed a LOT of success along the way.  I enjoy what I do regardless of the fanfare and plaudits (or lack thereof). There is enormous satisfaction and joy in the journey itself! Honestly... it is that daily joy in the journey that drives me more than anything else. 

Plus, I'm only 41 years old. Abraham Lincoln was ten years older than I was when the opportunity of his lifetime arrived. And Winston Churchill was 24 years old older than me was when his nation came calling. If two of the greatest men in history had to wait until they were 51 and 65, respectively, to finally have their life's work pay off in climactic fashion, I figure I can afford to be as patient as needs be.

Regardless how well a person might prepare prior to an opportunity finally arriving, the reality is that timing always plays a key role in its overall calculus. Make no mistake, opportunities will arise for everyone, and especially for those who conscientiously prepare themselves. We won't always know when our individual opportunities will arise. But we can always do our best to prepare for our own big (and little) chances in life by continually studying, practicing, and teaching. As long as we have paid the price in preparation, life will eventually provide all of us with our own, unique opportunities in due time.

The greatest work of all happens in homes

As you consider what your own "Big" (and little) Breaks" might be, remember that opportunity comes in all different shapes and sizes. Moreover, the best opportunities are often not highly visible with a spotlight shining on them.

For example, some of the world's greatest human beings have been unknown and unheralded mothers and fathers who quietly and obscurely, yet truly and nobly raised stalwart sons and daughters who, in-turn, performed noble deeds and/or raised honorable sons and daughters of their own. 

Can there be any greater personal contribution than that?

True Success is all about the
Direction You are Headed

Remember what we learned from Winston Churchill: results are not, in-and-of-themselves, the truest mark of success. He did not say that victory is success. He said that: "Success is going from failure-to-failure without a loss of enthusiasm."

The truest mark of success is measured in effort, discipline, consistence, persistence, passion, resilience, and durability. Countless heroes died before their battle had been won. While their moments of climax may have been bereft of an audience or applause, their legacy of greatness nonetheless lives on—burnished ever brighter by the tales of triumph told and retold by those who remain.

Next time you are tempted to give-up on a worthy goal, pursuit, or change-effort, I encourage you to remember the words of Ole' Sir Winston, who gave the following advice to a classroom of young people at Harrow, a private all-boys school in the Greater London area:

"Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in-nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy."

        — Winston Churchill 

I close with some inspirational excerpts from a college graduation speech delivered by Denzel Washington, an Academy Award-winning actor. I hope his words ring as true and powerful for you as they did for me. 

Oscar Award

"I've found that nothing in life is worthwhile unless you take risks; nothing! Nelson Mandela said, 'There is no passion to be found playing small and settling for a life that's less than the one you're capable of living. ...

"Do what you feel passionate about; take chances; don't be afraid to fail. ... Don't be afraid to think outside the box; don't be afraid to fail big; to dream big. 

"But remember: dreams without goals are just dreams. 

"Reggie Jackson struck out 2,600 times in his career—the most in the history of baseball—but you don't hear about the strikeouts; people remember the home runs. ...

"Every failed experiment is one step closer to success. You've got to take risks. ... and I want to talk to you about why that is so important. 

"You will fail at some point in your life; accept it, you will lose. You will embarrass yourself; you will suck at something, there is no doubt about it. ... I'm telling you, embrace it because it is inevitable. ...

"Early on in my career I auditioned for a part in a Broadway musical—a perfect role for me I thought, except for the fact that I can't sing. I didn't get the job. But here's the thing: I didn't quit. I didn't fall back. I walked out of there to prepare for the next audition and the next audition and the next audition. I prayed; I prayed; and I prayed! But I continued to fail, and fail, and fail; but it didn't matter because you know what, there's an old saying: You hang around the barbershop long enough sooner or later you're gonna get a haircut. So you will catch a break, and I did catch a break. Last year I did a play called Fences on Broadway. But here's the kicker: it was at the Court Theatre—it was at the same theatre that I failed that first audition 30 years prior. ...

"Every graduate here has the training and the talent to succeed; but do you have the guts to fail? If you don't fail, you're not even trying. I'll say it again: if you don't fail, you're not even trying! To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. So imagine you're on your deathbed, and standing around your deathbed are the ghosts representing your unfulfilled potential—the ghosts of the ideas you never acted on; the ghosts of the talents you never used. And they're standing around your bed angry, disappointed, and upset. They said we came to you because you could have brought us to life; and now we have to go to the grave together. So I ask you today: "How many ghosts are gonna be around your bed when your time comes?"

Click HERE to watch Denzel Washington's FULL SPEECH. 

Click HERE to watch a MOVIE CLIP from one of my favorite movies featuring Denzel Washington's prodigious acting ability. This scene in the movie Glory helped Washington win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor.

-Dr. JJ

July 14, 2021

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 220th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013. 

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 219 FF Blog Articles.  

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