Avoid costly errors and gross iniquity by learning from small mistakes and petty sins.
Of all the human beings who live in this world, none of us is perfect. We all make mistakes; we all screw up from time-to-time; and we all fall short of perfection.
I know I do!
Despite this reality, Freedom Focused holds that committing costly errors or gross iniquity in our lives is by no means an inevitability. No matter how many others may find themselves wending down slippery slopes of salacity and other wrongdoing in our morally rudderless society, there is much we can do to break ranks from those listlessly lulled away by pied pipers of permissiveness. By learning from our small mistakes and petty sins, we can consciously create a variety of bulwarks and defense mechanisms capable of preventing our going too far in the direction of more serious indiscretions and transgressions.
As self-action leaders balance their lifelong pursuit of IDEALS with practical day-by-day methods aimed at gradual and incremental self-improvement, we can avoid costly errors and gross iniquity as we continually improve in more detailed and nuanced change efforts.
Specifically, I suggest three concrete actions we can repeatedly take in our lives to help in this balanced approach to continual personal improvement and the avoidance of major missteps.
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| Preventative measures begin with good PLANNING |
1. Readily admit (recognize & catch yourself) committing minor indiscretions.
2. Take concrete actions aimed at nipping small issues in the bud.
3. Consciously determine "Red Lines" you absolutely will not cross.
Let's address these items one-at-a-time.
1. Readily admit (recognize & catch yourself) committing minor indiscretions.
Sometimes, it is both wise and good to "not sweat the small stuff" in life. However, there are other times when there is great value in "sweating the small stuff" if it enables you to avoid falling off a cliff with the BIG stuff. The reason people end up getting into big trouble in their lives or careers is invariably because they convinced (deceived) themselves that lesser indiscretions along the way were "no big deal." But if a lesser indiscretion leads to a greater indiscretion, then a viable argument can be made that lesser issues are, in fact, a very BIG deal. If you are continually recognizing and "catching" yourself when you mess up in small ways, then lesser vices are far less likely to grow into more serious issues.
By focusing on the "small stuff," New York City's wave of serious crime dropped precipitously.** This same method and phenomenon can work in your own individual life.
2. Take concrete actions aimed at nipping small issues in the bud.
After acknowledging to yourself that a minor indiscretion has the potential to become a serious problem, it's time to DO something specific to address the issue before it gets worse. Examples of actions I have personally taken in an effort to stanch smaller issues before they get out of hand include:
- Trying my best to solve the problem on my own through self-help strategies. These include reading, studying, and/or researching the issue at hand to gain further self-awareness and insight into possible change tactics and strategies. It also includes utilizing positive affirmations and other self-talk techniques aimed at behavioral change.
- Seeking out the help of others (e.g. leader, manager, teacher, mentor, family member, friend, counselor, medical professional, etc.).
- Religious and/or spiritual remedies, such as scripture study, prayer, meditation, solitude, and fasting.
- Continually reminding myself that even though an issue might be "small" or "minor," it still must be addressed, lest it morph into something more serious and destructive.
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| Self-Action Leaders know what and where their "Red Lines" are. Do You? |
One of the most helpful self-strategies I have employed to prevent small issues from becoming large problems is to determine in advance things that I absolutely will not say or do under any circumstances—ever.
In conjunction with deciding what these "red-line" actions will be, I also fill my mind with clear, concrete, and compelling mental pictures of the awful consequences that are certain to arise were I to waver in my resolve to maintain my red lines as inviolable and sacrosanct.
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Envisioning dangerous real-life enticements in terms of negative consequences that will arise from embracing temptation helps me to see dangerous allurements for what they really are: poisonous snakes! |
Despite being guilty of a variety of small mistakes and petty sins in my life, I can honestly say that I have never crossed any of my inviolable "Red Lines," nor do I ever have any intention of doing so. Having these "Red Lines" clearly and firmly rooted in my mind, heart, and spirit, has done wonders to keep me from getting too close to the edge of those high, treacherous, and deadly cliffs of temptation.
At the same time, self-action leaders must also learn to practice disciplined SELF-COMPASSION as they imperfectly strive for improvement. In other words, constantly tearing oneself down is not a productive vehicle for positive personal change and self-growth.
Over twenty years ago, a wise leader and supervisor of mine gave me the following counsel:
At that particular time in my life, I was an OCD-troubled "Stress Bomb"* of a human being, so this advice was exactly what I needed to hear. I have engaged this advice on countless occasions in my life and career since—to my great benefit.
Click HERE to read about Dr. JJ's journey managing OCD and Depression.
As self-action leaders, we need to believe in ourselves. We also need to strike a healthy balance between being appropriately hard on ourselves and compassionately good to ourselves, depending on what a given situation or circumstance may justifiably merit.
Being good to oneself involves learning to forgive ourselves when we fall short. Likewise, it includes appropriately getting after ourselves when we know we need to change and improve. It also involves cultivating a positive and productive inner dialogue that consoles, builds, and encourages rather than condemns, tears down, and discourages.
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| Self-action leaders learn to be their own cheerleaders! |
In other words, we need to practice being our OWN cheerleader!
When I make an error or otherwise fall short of a desired standard, I need to be able to love myself despite my weaknesses. But I also need to continually strive for improvement and cheer myself on all along the way. Lastly, while I must be persistent in my efforts to improve, I must concurrently be patient with backward steps that often accompany forward progress.
I have learned from the manifold mistakes I have made in my own life that the goal is not to never make a mistake. The goal is to always learn something from each mistake that will help us avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Remember: although we are all imperfect and stumble repeatedly and diversely in our lives, there are ways to prevent ourselves from "going too far" down any terminally dangerous roads. By learning from small mistakes and petty sins, we can avoid costly errors and gross iniquity. As I have observed others who have fallen prey to serious blunders in their lives and careers, it has become clear to me that whatever I must do to avoid the same fate, it is worth it!
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| "Never, Never, NEVER Give Up" -Winston Churchill |
I encourage you to ponder on this subject and then introspectively develop a plan of attack that will empower you to perpetually learn from the small stuff in your life in order to prevent the big stuff from ever becoming a problem.
And if, unfortunately, you already find yourself down a road laden with costly errors and gross iniquity, remember that there is a way out of deeper messes as well. Recovery and renewal will not come quickly or easily, but it is always possible.
So remember that come what may, self-action leaders NEVER LOSE HOPE and they NEVER GIVE UP!
NOTE: This article is the 6th in a series of 22 articles on the subject of LIFE RULES.
Click HERE to access quick links to the other 21 articles.
-Dr. JJ
Author's Note: This is the 235th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013.
Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 234 FF Blog Articles.
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Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.
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