Ideas for Practicing Patience

It takes PATIENCE to put together the complicated
puzzle pieces of our life, relationships, and careers.

Last week, I published a post about balancing proactivity with PATIENCE. The purpose of that post was to inspire greater patience in readers.

Click HERE to review last week's ARTICLE.

In today's post, I share some basic ideas about how you can specifically practice patience in your life, relationships, and career.

Practically speaking, this post is more important and valuable than last week's theoretical piece. This is because theory, philosophy, and principles are useless without the exercises, tasks, and practices that accompany them and animate them in real life.

There are few things more unattractive than a supposedly wise sage who, while lounging in one's Lazy Boy sipping something cool and refreshing,* hypocritically pontificates about what everyone else ought be doing while he or she lazily does whatever the #$@! one pleases.

No one likes a two-faced, lying, HYPOCRITE.

Don't be that guy or gal! 

If you are going to bloviate on the whats and hows of human morality and behavior, you darn well better be putting forth a good-faith effort to "practice what you preach" all along the way.

That is my quest; it is also my burden.  

It is a burden because I know (all too well) that I do so imperfectly, and I'll always be up-front and transparent about this fact.

No one is perfect; I'm certainly not. However, I don't believe I have the right, much less the moral authority, to speak about any topic of "Human Betterness" unless I am genuinely striving to become better myself. As such, I pledge to my readers (and hearers of any form) that I am always striving to practice what I preach. Come what may, I assure you that I am always trying my (admittedly imperfect) best.

Of all the virtues that human beings may aspire towards, PATIENCE is one of the most important. It also may well be the one I was most bereft of when born into this world. It seems as though life itself has been very much aware of this fact because it has provided me with seemingly endless opportunities for practice. As such, I know a thing or two about how to practice and develop patience. The purpose of today's article is to share three (3) examples with YOU.

THREE (3) Tips for Practicing Patience.

EXAMPLE 1.  Handling Interruptions

As a stay-at-home dad/professional writer with three kids under the age of nine, I would be very wealthy if I had a dollar for every time I was interrupted while attempting to attend to my part-time professional work—or anything else for that matter!

Case in point: while composing this article, my two elementary school-aged kids were in the other room organizing their classroom supplies for the upcoming school year. I was proud of my delegating skills, which motivated them to excitedly work independently on the project so I could steal away into my office to compose this article. Nevertheless, a dozen or more times during the course of composition, my kids predictably interrupted me to ask questions about their supply lists or make other requests/demands. 

When you are deeply engaged in something important to you, interruptions can be very irritating. So much so, in fact, that the moment they occur, your heart is apt to immediately harden toward both the interruption and the person doing the interrupting. When your heart hardens toward someone or something, you are prone to "react" (i.e. yell, holler, berate, condemn, argue with, etc.) rather than maturely "respond" in a cool, kind, and collected manner. 

Self-Action Leaders STOP, WAIT,
and THINK before they respond.

I always feel bad when I immaturely "react" to a situation rather than maturely "respond." Yet it is still so easy to do! To avoid reacting in favor of responding, I have learned to CONSCIOUSLY CATCH myself whenever I feel my heart begin to harden due to an interruption—or anything else for that matter. Once I have consciously caught myself, I sub-vocally repeat to myself words such as: "STOP," "WAIT," "HOLD ON," or "PAUSE."

There is great power in that split second pause, which can then be transformed into a moment of decision—transmuted into power—that I can then harness to CHOOSE TO respond kindly, lovingly, attentively, and maturely rather than impulsively and ruefully react in childish and unkind ways. By so doing, I can not only productively address the issue at hand and positively cultivate the relationship, but also avoid having to apologize—and the drama that inevitably follows less effective/unkind/rude/wrong speech or behavior. 

I'm not going to lie... this is hard to do! But if you will PRACTICE it, it will get easier—and become more natural, reflexive, and habitual—over time. I know this because it has worked for me! I'm still a long way from perfection in this effort, but I've come a long ways through practice.   

There is ALWAYS something productive you can accomplish
whenever you have to wait for/on something. 

EXAMPLE 2.  Learning to Productively Wait... and to Endure

In life, we all have to spend our share of time waiting around for something or someone. Sometimes our waits might involve a few seconds, minutes, hours, or days; and sometimes our waits can extend into weeks, months, years, or even decades. 

Regardless what you are waiting on/for, there is no limit to the creative ideas for productively filling up "The Waiting Place"**—which, whether we like it or not, is a place that all of us will frequent a lot!***

Some of my favorite things to do when I have to wait in line or wait on an airline is to catch up on news, answer texts and emails, write in my journals, and recite poetry.

Another area of patience that many of us struggle with is patiently enduring a given task until it is entirely and effectively completed. Whether it is a simple domestic task or a gargantuan academic or professional project, effectively enduring until something has been done right can be a challenge for many.    

Restroom Hand Dryers = An Opportunity to Practice Patience

The idea I present here for aiding us in this effort might sound silly, but has worked for me. It involves the use of electric hand dryers in public restrooms/washrooms—strange as that might sound.    

If you watch closely, most people who use public restrooms wash their hands after they use a toilet (thank goodness). However, most people DO NOT fully dry their hands after washing them.

Why is that? 

I think there are two primary reasons. First, because they don't want to make others wait for them (if someone else is waiting in line). And second, because they are simply too impatient to complete the job. Knowing that their hands will eventually "drip dry" no matter how wet they are upon exiting the bathroom, many just conclude that it "jist ain't worth the wait" to fully complete the task!

I have discovered, however, that allowing my hands to dry fully underneath those electric hand dryers is a good way to practice patience. Being human, I have the same urge to "bolt" out of the restroom as soon as I can—and for a variety of reasons. Nevertheless, just for fun, and just for practice, I will sometimes force myself to push the button two or three times and patiently wait for my hands to be completely dry before I leave—for no other reason than comfort (the hot, dry air is pretty pleasant if you'll take the time to stop and notice) and the realization that I have just taken advantage of a golden opportunity to PRACTICE PATIENCE, which I can then apply to other, more important life situations and circumstances.  

I recognize the issue of hand-drying is virtually meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Moreover, the extent to which someone dries their hands in a public (or private) restroom does not have any bearing on anything of significant import with regards to health and hygiene (as far as I know). The value of the example is simply found in identifying a unique opportunity to practice PATIENCE; and that's the whole point of the example—finding an opportunity to develop something important from an otherwise meaningless life practice that everyone finds themselves doing on nearly a daily basis.  

This example could, of course, easily be extended to a variety of other relatively mindless activities we participate in on a daily basis—as well as any number of serious moments of WAITING of which we have been called upon to endure. Thus, a mindless activity can become an impressively mindful activity in the most meaningful of ways. After all, what could be more meaningful than further developing a personal VIRTUE, such as patience?  

EXAMPLE 3. Productively Dealing with Delays

The key to productively dealing with delays is to creatively construct action-oriented projects that are highly relevant to whatever it is you are waiting on (in the case of long-term goals), or that are otherwise productive.  

To illustrate: somewhere in between the year 2001 and 2003, I came to the conclusion—with an unusual degree of crystalline clarity—that my professional goal in life was to essentially become a Next-Gen Dr. Stephen R. Covey. That was (and still is) a good goal. However, such a goal is also an extremely ambitious and long-term oriented goal. At the time I set the goal, I was in my early 20s. Forty-seven (47) years my senior, Dr. Covey was in his late 60s at the time, and passed away in 2012.  

That's a big difference! 

I am now in my early 40s and have still not completely achieved my goal. In fact, I've still got a long ways to go. But here's the thing: I've got nearly three more decades to accomplish it! Moreover, I have achieved a plethora of "baby-step" achievements, including the acquisition of some considerable publishing, speaking, and training credentials along the way. While I may not have fully accomplished my goal as quickly as I initially thought possible as a 20-something young man, I remain laser-focused on my long-term vision and mission and continue to make consistent progress all along the way. Come what may, I am continually doing something aimed at moving myself closer to achieving my ultimate objectives as a professional—and as a human being. Even in the absence of concrete opportunities, I am always taking action of some sort—even if those actions are no more than thoughts in my head. 

For example, I have now published over 200 blog articles just like the one you are reading right now. Since posting my first blog post eight years ago, I have had over 77,000 visitors to my blog site. That's a good start, but not nearly enough to achieve my ultimate goal of helping millions—like Dr. Covey.

But guess what?

I keep publishing articles, with a new one rolling off the virtual presses every week! If I remain committed to that one task alone for the next 20 years, my chances of accomplishing my long-term goal get a little better every single week that passes.  

When I first set out on this unique and specific mission and vision in my life, there were some who thought I was naïve, in over my head, or perhaps even foolish. And there were times when I was all three of those things! There are undoubtedly some who still view me that way.

But that's okay.

Why is it okay? Because I don't set goals based on what other people might think about me. I set goals based on what I think about myself, and on what I know I can offer to other people. And I don't let anyone or anything sway me away from my purposes once I am confident those purposes are right. 

How about you?

Do you presently lack the patience, persistence, or personal chutzpah necessary to pursue your authentic dreams, either personally or professionally? Have you allowed life's endless daily duties, routines, and drudgery cause you to lose sight of important personal or professional goals—dreams that lay deeply buried and dormant within your mind, heart, and spirit?   

Persistence + Patience = Victory

If so, what can you do TODAY to take a step away from worrying what other people think about you and towards becoming all you are capable of becoming, come what may?  

Honestly... what are you waiting for?

     The time for ACTION is NOW.

But remember... be prepared to be as PATIENT as you are PERSISTENT all along the way. If you are willing to master BOTH virtues, you cannot fail in the long-run!  

-Dr. JJ

August 4, 2021

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 223rd Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013. 

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 222 FF Blog Articles.  

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

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Notes:

* The phrase "a goblet of something cool and refreshing" comes from a favorite comedy routine ("Airplanes") of mine by the professional comedian, Brian Regan. 

** From Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss. 

*** Paraphrased from Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You'll Go! (i.e. "Whether you like it or not, alone will be something you'll be quite a lot.).

The Job I Never Imagined I'd Have

My "Day" Job

As I compose this article, I am sitting in a hotel room in Odessa, Texas. 

It is 7:37 p.m. on a Friday evening. 

I just finished putting my toddler son, Tyler, down for the night in his pack'n'play.

After ensuring his sippy cup was full of milk, I covered him with his favorite blanket, sang him a lullaby, gently stroked his head and face, expressed my love, and bade him goodnight. 

Somewhat predictably, he didn't go right to sleep. Not with his older brother and sister blissfully eyeing the Disney Junior channel on television (ahh... the simple joys of a hotel t.v.).

But that's okay.

Tyler didn't take a nap today, and I turned out all the lights except the television and computer screens, so it should only take a few minutes (fingers crossed) before he settles down into a sweet slumber for the next 11 hours or so.

Ahhhhhhhh....

          I LOVE this time of day!

                    Why?

                              Because I am a full-time stay-at-home parent.

                                          I build Freedom Focused on the side.

Lina at work in Sydney, Australia, August 2019

My intelligent, talented, and beautiful wife, Lina—who is lovely in every way, and whom I respect, admire, and absolutely adore—is a successful mechanical engineer who works full-time for a Fortune 100 Corporation. She has traveled to 13 different countries with her work. She also "commuted" back-and-forth to Australia for seven months in 2019-2020. Her work stint "Down Under" alone provided the kids and I with over 100 days all on our own.

I'm not gonna lie; that was an enormous challenge!

But this stretching experience—and others like them—also proved to be a fun adventure that provided us all with a tremendous amount of GROWTH, which is what Self-Action Leadership (SAL) is all about.  

The kids and I found out earlier today that Mama (Lina) would have to work tomorrow (Saturday). Thankfully, that doesn't happen very often in her new position in New Mexico. But when it does, the kids and I usually plan some kind of trip together to productively pass the time we would usually be spending with Mama on the weekend.

Off to "Daddy Fun Week"
Summer 2020

The kids and I are veteran travelers.

We have logged literally tens of thousands of miles together during days, weeks, and weekends when Mama had to work or was out-of-town with work. While our best times are those we spend all together (with Mama) as a complete family, our unique life circumstances have also afforded us with opportunities to create many special memories with just Dad and the kids—memories I cherish with all of my heart and soul, and that will only grow sweeter with the passage of time.

My kids are AMAZING travelers.

Give 'em an Amazon Tablet and a Happy Meal and they'll literally go all day (up to 600 miles) if our travel plans call for it, with hardly any complaint! And for all the Moms, pediatricians, and children's psychologists out there who are rightly uneasy about kids spending all day on a technological device, rest assured that such extremes occur only a few times a year on our occasional "long-hauls."  

The kids are also super low-maintenance on the road (thanks to tech devices, art supplies, and drive-up fast food windows). I actually have to stop to "go potty" more for myself than I do for them. It's a little embarrassing—and indicative of my love of fountain drinks—but demonstrative of my kids' steely bladders!     

Being a stay-at-home Dad is a WONDERFUL job; but it is not always an easy one.   

Growing up, I never dreamed that at age 41, I would be spending most of my daytime hours teaching, tutoring, tending, changing diapers, shopping, cooking, cleaning, taxiing kids to gymnastics, cub scouts, and taekwondo, washing clothes and dishes, ironing, sweeping and scrubbing the floor, vacuuming, playing with, reading to, and otherwise looking out for three small children under the age of eight. 

But that is the way things are for me in 2020; and it's been that way for the better part of the last FIVE (5) years! 

My present reality reminds me of the words of a famous Beatle:

 

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

— John Lennon 

Picking up my oldest child and son, Tucker,
from school with Kara and Tyler in 2019.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. 

In fact, I wouldn't go back-in-time to change anything about my life—even if it were possible to do so.

Why?

Four (4) reasons.  

First:  I have done my very best to accomplish my hopes and dreams as a writer, speaker, thinker, teacher, and entrepreneur... all along the way. Furthermore, I have already been blessed with my share of AMAZING career opportunities and travel adventures that have taken me all over the English-speaking world as a published author and speaker. Indeed, if I died tomorrow, I wouldn't have any major regrets about my life and career to date.

Are there things I could have done differently or better along the way?

          Sure.

                    But no significant regrets.   

Second:  Because of reason #1, things still are turning out the way I had hoped; it is merely taking longer than I originally envisioned, which is okay.

Why is it okay?

Because entrepreneurial ventures, by definition, run on unpredictable timetables and trajectories. If you want certainty and predictability, don't become an entrepreneur! Get a job and become a salaried employee instead.

Moreover, as a self-action leader, I can only control myself. I can't control other people or the timetables of my long-term destiny. As such, if I do my very best each day, I consider myself to be continually and consummately successful as a self-action leader—regardless of my tangible external results (or lack thereof). 

I cannot control most things in this world. But I can personally do my imperfect best each-and-every day. And I have a deep and abiding faith that if I will simply do that, then everything else will eventually work out for the best in my life, relationships, family, and career.   

Third:  while I patiently work and wait for the second half of my career trajectory to evolve, I am enjoying and growing from the unspeakable blessing of being able to spend TONS of quality and quantity TIME with the people who matter most to me in all the world: namely; my wife and children. In the process, Life is turning me into a more patient, tender, compassionate, flexible, mature, capable, multi-skilled, and wise human being. Of course, I still have a LONG way to go! But I am a different (better) person than I was five years ago, and it is because of the unique challenges and opportunities I have been blessed to confront. 

Career opportunities—and careers in general—come and go.

          But Family is FOREVER.

                    What more could I possibly ask for?  

With my own stay-at-home Mama,
pregnant with her 7th child, my
younger sister, in 1981.

Fourth:  Some of the most INTELLIGENT, CREATIVE, CAPABLE, CARING, and otherwise AMAZING human beings I have ever known have been stay-at-home Moms. As such, the mere thought that I am even a shadow of the human being that some of those incredible women and mothers are makes me feel like a million bucks—and as true a success in life as one could ever rightly hope to be.

While an understanding of these realities helps me keep things in perspective, live in the moment, and enjoy the GIFTS of the PRESENT, it doesn't always make it easy.

I have always been a highly motivated, deeply driven, and unusually ambitious person. Because of this fact, I openly confess it is often difficult and frustrating when things don't happen, or otherwise work out, as quickly as I would like in my career—or anything else for that matter.

I have never been an "inherently patient" person, especially when it comes to other people's performances and life's endlessly enigmatic timetables. 

Fortunately, LIFE has provided me with plenty of opportunities to develop this elusive and important virtue—that pesky, but oh-so pertinent, 'P' word so vital to our long-term success as human beings and self-action leaders. Along the way, I still experience moments every day when I want to tear my hair out with irritation or frustration as I wend my way through a maze of challenges I never envisioned myself confronting.

But such is life...

          And it's all okay!

Why?

Because thankfully such moments are ultimately outweighed by other, better, moments where I am enveloped by the beautiful love and blissful companionship of my wife and children, or am otherwise reminded of my extraordinary blessings. And that is to say nothing of the absolutely priceless investment that children are in one's future! Thus, every time I feel tempted to complain about the difficulties of my present reality, the better angels of my nature urge me to take a deep breath and COUNT MY BLESSINGS instead.  

Holding the hand of my youngest child, son,
and namesake: Tyler Jordan Jensen, in 2019

After all, does not Life know better than I do about the way things really are, should be, and all questions concerning timing? 

And if so, should I not then balance my native ambition and drive with a wise and mature patience—in recognition that even the most ardent passions of the human heart and spirit must ultimately bow before the eternal edicts of Natural Law if human conduct, contribution, and achievement are to fully flower in their appropriate time and place? Moreover, and most importantly, should I not rejoice at the blessing of having so many opportunities to "Practice what I Preach" in the Present?   

The answer to these questions is a clear, resounding, and unequivocal "YES!"

As such, I strive my imperfect best to bridle all my passions—that I might become more disciplined personally and more caring interpersonally—and that my character may be sharpened to its finest possible edges and points over time.

It's not easy, and I'm far from perfect; but it is possible. And the rewards of following a disciplined and focused SAL journey through life are abundant—and worth every drop of blood, sweat, tears, and time required to obtain them.  

Do you, like me, find yourself in the midst of a protracted period of Waiting? An experience capable of engendering bitterness, frustration, discouragement, or other negative emotions—if you allow it? 

If so, I encourage YOU to avoid being too eager for what the future may hold. Don't miss the majesty of each precious moment of the PRESENT. Instead of always yearning for what tomorrow might bring, do your duty as you understand it TODAY—and enjoy THE PROCESS to the best of your imperfect ability.

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery;

today is a gift—that's why they call it the PRESENT."

—Attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

And along the way—during those moments of difficulty and longing that will inevitably arise—I hope you might find as much truth, comfort, and peace as I have in the inspiring words of the naturalist and poet, John Burroughs, who once penned a masterpiece on this vital LIFE subject:  

WAITING

"Serene, I fold my hands and wait,

    Nor care for wind nor tide nor sea;

I rave no more 'gainst time or fate,

    For lo! my own shall come to me. 

I stay my haste, I make delays—

    For what avails this eager pace?

I stand amid the eternal ways

    And what is mine shall know my face.

Asleep, awake, by night or day,

    The friends I seek are seeking me,

No wind can drive my bark astray

    Nor change the tide of destiny.

What matter if I stand alone?

    I wait with joy the coming years;

My heart shall reap where it has sown,

    And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own, and draw

    The brook that springs in yonder height;

So flows the good with equal law

    Unto the soul of pure delight.

The stars come nightly to the sky;

    The tidal wave unto the sea;

Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,

    Can keep my own away from me. 

Daddy's little Buddy... 
finally asleep!

In case you were wondering, YES... little Ty guy did eventually fall into a peaceful sleep that lasted for about 11 hours. Not as quickly as I had hoped... but soon enough to get a lot of quality work done on this article. And as much as I love the little darling, that is always one of the sweetest moments of each day!

The kids and I all had a good night's sleep followed by a delicious breakfast at Chick-Fil-A. After that we visited and scootered around a full-size replica of Stonehenge! It was soooo COOL! We then visited an epic children's playground and Presidential historical site in Midland before heading back home to Carlsbad, New Mexico and our beloved Wife and Mama.

Visiting a replica of Stonehenge
in Odessa, Texas

Another wonderful "Daddy Fun Trip" is now in the books.

I am a BLESSED man.     

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Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.    

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