Ideas for Practicing Patience

It takes PATIENCE to put together the complicated
puzzle pieces of our life, relationships, and careers.

Last week, I published a post about balancing proactivity with PATIENCE. The purpose of that post was to inspire greater patience in readers.

Click HERE to review last week's ARTICLE.

In today's post, I share some basic ideas about how you can specifically practice patience in your life, relationships, and career.

Practically speaking, this post is more important and valuable than last week's theoretical piece. This is because theory, philosophy, and principles are useless without the exercises, tasks, and practices that accompany them and animate them in real life.

There are few things more unattractive than a supposedly wise sage who, while lounging in one's Lazy Boy sipping something cool and refreshing,* hypocritically pontificates about what everyone else ought be doing while he or she lazily does whatever the #$@! one pleases.

No one likes a two-faced, lying, HYPOCRITE.

Don't be that guy or gal! 

If you are going to bloviate on the whats and hows of human morality and behavior, you darn well better be putting forth a good-faith effort to "practice what you preach" all along the way.

That is my quest; it is also my burden.  

It is a burden because I know (all too well) that I do so imperfectly, and I'll always be up-front and transparent about this fact.

No one is perfect; I'm certainly not. However, I don't believe I have the right, much less the moral authority, to speak about any topic of "Human Betterness" unless I am genuinely striving to become better myself. As such, I pledge to my readers (and hearers of any form) that I am always striving to practice what I preach. Come what may, I assure you that I am always trying my (admittedly imperfect) best.

Of all the virtues that human beings may aspire towards, PATIENCE is one of the most important. It also may well be the one I was most bereft of when born into this world. It seems as though life itself has been very much aware of this fact because it has provided me with seemingly endless opportunities for practice. As such, I know a thing or two about how to practice and develop patience. The purpose of today's article is to share three (3) examples with YOU.

THREE (3) Tips for Practicing Patience.

EXAMPLE 1.  Handling Interruptions

As a stay-at-home dad/professional writer with three kids under the age of nine, I would be very wealthy if I had a dollar for every time I was interrupted while attempting to attend to my part-time professional work—or anything else for that matter!

Case in point: while composing this article, my two elementary school-aged kids were in the other room organizing their classroom supplies for the upcoming school year. I was proud of my delegating skills, which motivated them to excitedly work independently on the project so I could steal away into my office to compose this article. Nevertheless, a dozen or more times during the course of composition, my kids predictably interrupted me to ask questions about their supply lists or make other requests/demands. 

When you are deeply engaged in something important to you, interruptions can be very irritating. So much so, in fact, that the moment they occur, your heart is apt to immediately harden toward both the interruption and the person doing the interrupting. When your heart hardens toward someone or something, you are prone to "react" (i.e. yell, holler, berate, condemn, argue with, etc.) rather than maturely "respond" in a cool, kind, and collected manner. 

Self-Action Leaders STOP, WAIT,
and THINK before they respond.

I always feel bad when I immaturely "react" to a situation rather than maturely "respond." Yet it is still so easy to do! To avoid reacting in favor of responding, I have learned to CONSCIOUSLY CATCH myself whenever I feel my heart begin to harden due to an interruption—or anything else for that matter. Once I have consciously caught myself, I sub-vocally repeat to myself words such as: "STOP," "WAIT," "HOLD ON," or "PAUSE."

There is great power in that split second pause, which can then be transformed into a moment of decision—transmuted into power—that I can then harness to CHOOSE TO respond kindly, lovingly, attentively, and maturely rather than impulsively and ruefully react in childish and unkind ways. By so doing, I can not only productively address the issue at hand and positively cultivate the relationship, but also avoid having to apologize—and the drama that inevitably follows less effective/unkind/rude/wrong speech or behavior. 

I'm not going to lie... this is hard to do! But if you will PRACTICE it, it will get easier—and become more natural, reflexive, and habitual—over time. I know this because it has worked for me! I'm still a long way from perfection in this effort, but I've come a long ways through practice.   

There is ALWAYS something productive you can accomplish
whenever you have to wait for/on something. 

EXAMPLE 2.  Learning to Productively Wait... and to Endure

In life, we all have to spend our share of time waiting around for something or someone. Sometimes our waits might involve a few seconds, minutes, hours, or days; and sometimes our waits can extend into weeks, months, years, or even decades. 

Regardless what you are waiting on/for, there is no limit to the creative ideas for productively filling up "The Waiting Place"**—which, whether we like it or not, is a place that all of us will frequent a lot!***

Some of my favorite things to do when I have to wait in line or wait on an airline is to catch up on news, answer texts and emails, write in my journals, and recite poetry.

Another area of patience that many of us struggle with is patiently enduring a given task until it is entirely and effectively completed. Whether it is a simple domestic task or a gargantuan academic or professional project, effectively enduring until something has been done right can be a challenge for many.    

Restroom Hand Dryers = An Opportunity to Practice Patience

The idea I present here for aiding us in this effort might sound silly, but has worked for me. It involves the use of electric hand dryers in public restrooms/washrooms—strange as that might sound.    

If you watch closely, most people who use public restrooms wash their hands after they use a toilet (thank goodness). However, most people DO NOT fully dry their hands after washing them.

Why is that? 

I think there are two primary reasons. First, because they don't want to make others wait for them (if someone else is waiting in line). And second, because they are simply too impatient to complete the job. Knowing that their hands will eventually "drip dry" no matter how wet they are upon exiting the bathroom, many just conclude that it "jist ain't worth the wait" to fully complete the task!

I have discovered, however, that allowing my hands to dry fully underneath those electric hand dryers is a good way to practice patience. Being human, I have the same urge to "bolt" out of the restroom as soon as I can—and for a variety of reasons. Nevertheless, just for fun, and just for practice, I will sometimes force myself to push the button two or three times and patiently wait for my hands to be completely dry before I leave—for no other reason than comfort (the hot, dry air is pretty pleasant if you'll take the time to stop and notice) and the realization that I have just taken advantage of a golden opportunity to PRACTICE PATIENCE, which I can then apply to other, more important life situations and circumstances.  

I recognize the issue of hand-drying is virtually meaningless in the grand scheme of things. Moreover, the extent to which someone dries their hands in a public (or private) restroom does not have any bearing on anything of significant import with regards to health and hygiene (as far as I know). The value of the example is simply found in identifying a unique opportunity to practice PATIENCE; and that's the whole point of the example—finding an opportunity to develop something important from an otherwise meaningless life practice that everyone finds themselves doing on nearly a daily basis.  

This example could, of course, easily be extended to a variety of other relatively mindless activities we participate in on a daily basis—as well as any number of serious moments of WAITING of which we have been called upon to endure. Thus, a mindless activity can become an impressively mindful activity in the most meaningful of ways. After all, what could be more meaningful than further developing a personal VIRTUE, such as patience?  

EXAMPLE 3. Productively Dealing with Delays

The key to productively dealing with delays is to creatively construct action-oriented projects that are highly relevant to whatever it is you are waiting on (in the case of long-term goals), or that are otherwise productive.  

To illustrate: somewhere in between the year 2001 and 2003, I came to the conclusion—with an unusual degree of crystalline clarity—that my professional goal in life was to essentially become a Next-Gen Dr. Stephen R. Covey. That was (and still is) a good goal. However, such a goal is also an extremely ambitious and long-term oriented goal. At the time I set the goal, I was in my early 20s. Forty-seven (47) years my senior, Dr. Covey was in his late 60s at the time, and passed away in 2012.  

That's a big difference! 

I am now in my early 40s and have still not completely achieved my goal. In fact, I've still got a long ways to go. But here's the thing: I've got nearly three more decades to accomplish it! Moreover, I have achieved a plethora of "baby-step" achievements, including the acquisition of some considerable publishing, speaking, and training credentials along the way. While I may not have fully accomplished my goal as quickly as I initially thought possible as a 20-something young man, I remain laser-focused on my long-term vision and mission and continue to make consistent progress all along the way. Come what may, I am continually doing something aimed at moving myself closer to achieving my ultimate objectives as a professional—and as a human being. Even in the absence of concrete opportunities, I am always taking action of some sort—even if those actions are no more than thoughts in my head. 

For example, I have now published over 200 blog articles just like the one you are reading right now. Since posting my first blog post eight years ago, I have had over 77,000 visitors to my blog site. That's a good start, but not nearly enough to achieve my ultimate goal of helping millions—like Dr. Covey.

But guess what?

I keep publishing articles, with a new one rolling off the virtual presses every week! If I remain committed to that one task alone for the next 20 years, my chances of accomplishing my long-term goal get a little better every single week that passes.  

When I first set out on this unique and specific mission and vision in my life, there were some who thought I was naïve, in over my head, or perhaps even foolish. And there were times when I was all three of those things! There are undoubtedly some who still view me that way.

But that's okay.

Why is it okay? Because I don't set goals based on what other people might think about me. I set goals based on what I think about myself, and on what I know I can offer to other people. And I don't let anyone or anything sway me away from my purposes once I am confident those purposes are right. 

How about you?

Do you presently lack the patience, persistence, or personal chutzpah necessary to pursue your authentic dreams, either personally or professionally? Have you allowed life's endless daily duties, routines, and drudgery cause you to lose sight of important personal or professional goals—dreams that lay deeply buried and dormant within your mind, heart, and spirit?   

Persistence + Patience = Victory

If so, what can you do TODAY to take a step away from worrying what other people think about you and towards becoming all you are capable of becoming, come what may?  

Honestly... what are you waiting for?

     The time for ACTION is NOW.

But remember... be prepared to be as PATIENT as you are PERSISTENT all along the way. If you are willing to master BOTH virtues, you cannot fail in the long-run!  

-Dr. JJ

August 4, 2021

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 223rd Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013. 

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 222 FF Blog Articles.  

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.  

Click HERE to learn more about Freedom Focused

Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Jordan Jensen

Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

Notes:

* The phrase "a goblet of something cool and refreshing" comes from a favorite comedy routine ("Airplanes") of mine by the professional comedian, Brian Regan. 

** From Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss. 

*** Paraphrased from Dr. Seuss's Oh, the Places You'll Go! (i.e. "Whether you like it or not, alone will be something you'll be quite a lot.).