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| Today's Post is something of a Personal Journal Entry |
Earlier this year, a colleague of mine pointed me to a job opening at a major university. The position was a Program Director of a character education initiative.
Right up my alley, right?
With my youngest son entering kindergarten this August, and having nothing to lose to try, I decided to apply for the position.
Soon after, my wife pointed me to a training opportunity at the Fortune 500 Company where she works. Again, I decided to go ahead and apply.
Yesterday, I received a rejection notice for the corporate training job. And the university never got back with me about the program director position.
In the words of Freddy Mercury: "Another one bites the dust!" (laughing)
I can laugh about this because I am incredibly blessed to have a wife whose successful career has made it possible for me to be a stay-at-home dad and freelance writer/entrepreneur and still pay the bills. I openly acknowledge the incalculable fortune that is mine in this regard.
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No matter how positive your attitude, you wouldn't be human
if rejection didn't smart a little (and sometimes a lot) |
This does not change the fact, however, that rejection in any form always smarts at least a little bit (and sometimes a
lot)—although I have grown so accustomed to it throughout my life and career that I've gotten pretty good at handling, processing, and moving on from each one that arises, and growing stronger and more capable, confident, and secure in the process.
Today's blog post reflects on this subject of rejection—and shares some of the insights I've gained and thoughts I've had as I've passed through my own share of disappointment and frustration that inevitably accompanies rejection.
I have worked very hard and been incredibly focused on my career the past 20 years, and INTERNALLY speaking—where it really counts most in the long run—I have grown enormously, accomplished a lot, and managed to match (and in some ways exceed) some of the loftiest expectations I have always held for myself.
EXTERNALLY speaking, however, let's face it: I am simply not very accustomed to things working out!
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| I am no stranger to personal & professional REJECTION |
It's remarkable, really, how much rejection, disappointment, disillusionment, and temporary failure one is capable of enduring. I know because I have experienced enough of it for an entire village of human beings. If there was a contest held for the person who experienced the most of these negative events, surely I would be in the running for a Guinness Book record.
Unless personally experienced, one cannot fully comprehend how hand-wringing and heart-wrenching it is to have so much going on internally and so little tangible opportunity to release it externally in any significant way. If such had been my experience for several months or even several years, it wouldn't have been much to write about. After all, everyone experiences fits-and-starts, ups-and-downs, and reversals of fortune along the circuitous journeys of life. But the burden I've faced has been unrelenting, multi-faceted, and most tellingly—has lasted for the better part of THIRTY (30) years!
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It's challenging having a massive
storm brewing inside my heart and
brain with limited opportunity
for external outlet. |
Only the Savior of the world—and those who have trodden eerily similar pathways—can know what it is like to have such a hurricane of energy bottled up tightly in mind, heart, and soul for so many years with no significant opportunity for extended outlet. I openly confess that such experiential states—so many, varied, and concentrated in their potency over the past THREE (3) decades—have been a source of much angst and unhappiness in my life and career, notwithstanding the cornucopia of blessings and favors with which I have been so richly favored all along the way. Indeed, these "Tender Mercies" have been both adequate and generous compensation for these irritations, frustrations, and disappointments.
The more I've considered this subject, the more it has dawned on me that there must be an irrevocable law of nature that requires one to pass through a series of trials commensurate to the measure of one's blessings and opportunities. I have been unusually endowed and blessed; and have therefore been unusually tested as a result. And as the tests continue to mount, I find myself increasingly eager to discover the extent of the blessings on the other side of those tests.
With faith in this law, I have come to expect the other side of the coin to always manifest itself
eventually.
Few things are more motivating to me than being ignored, overlooked, or rejected—and few things fuel effort and ambition more fully than temporary failure. I like to precede any reference to failure with the vital adjective "temporary" because I firmly believe the only true failure is the failure to keep trying. If you haven't given up yet, then you haven't truly failed.
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There are drawbacks to being
an elite soldier |
There are times, of course, when it makes sense to
change course and thereby abandon certain efforts which are no longer relevant to your long-term vision, mission, and goals—
that's not quitting. But once a worthy and relevant goal has been set, you never really fail
unless or
until you QUIT.
While failure, rejection, and being ignored or overlooked is never fun—and always hurts to varying degrees—the more it happens the more immune you become to it until eventually you start to laugh at it—while continuing to forge ahead in spite of the lack of help from others. If you can make it to that point without being completely broken, you ultimately rise up phoenix-like—triumphant over all your foes and fearful of nothing and no one.
Most importantly, you discover increasingly over time that your lack of
external results are less a result of your own inadequacy and more a function of the Boss's supernal timing. Consequently, you begin viewing so-called failures and rejections as Tender Mercies of the Boss, discerning that He's not holding you out of the game because He doesn't want you to play; He's holding you out of the game in order to keep you fresh and ready for a MUCH BIGGER GAME... the same way Napoleon would keep his elite soldiers of the Imperial Guard back and out of the fighting unless it was absolutely necessary to deploy them. In the absence of a major crisis, Bonaparte could not afford to put his best soldiers into harms way; they were simply too valuable to risk in a common skirmish or regular battle.
The men of the Imperial Guard often disliked this policy, for it ironically kept them out of the action despite the fact that they were the ones best suited to take action.
I can relate.
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| When you love to play the game, it's no fun to sit on the bench. |
It's no fun to miss playing time in a game you so dearly love to play. And it is no fun to have the Coach leave you on the bench time-after-time-after-time—and not because you aren't good enough to play, but because the Coach has more important games for which He is holding you in reserve.
This paradigm shift allows you to completely reframe temporary failures and rejections as a compliment, opportunity, or even a badge of honor—and more the loss of the rejector than your own personal loss. It also empowers you to develop a powerful shield of protection that makes you increasingly immune from the collateral emotional damage caused by rejection or temporary failure.
Most importantly, it empowers you to further develop the indispensable virtue of PATIENCE, which is as important a virtue as persistence when it comes to long-term success of any kind. And if you are a naturally proactive person, which I am, patience becomes even more important than persistence, because chances are it comes less naturally to you than persistence.
Two of the most inspiring maxims of the past two decades of my life have involved PATIENCE. They are:
"He who can have patience
can have what he will."
~ Benjamin Franklin
"In your patience possess ye your souls."
~ Luke 21:19
With all my heart, I believe in the truthful essence contained in these two stirring quotes.
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As a recent blog post reiterated, I LOVE studying HISTORY.
Click HERE to read: The Blessings and Joys of Studying History
Lately, I've been studying the life and times of Napoleon Bonaparte and the era spanning the French Revolution and subsequent Napoleonic Wars (1793-1815)—one of the most tumultuous ages of intrigue, unrest, violence, war, and progress in human history. That period was a little like our own times, except people back then were a lot less inhibited about chopping off the heads of their political opponents and declaring all-out "HOT" wars when it placated their fears or otherwise suited their personal ambitions or political aims.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
1769-1821 |
Napoleon was a megalomaniac who sowed the seeds of his (and his Empire's) undoing all along his colorful, eventful, and remarkable journey. But he was also a military, administrative, political, cultural, and social genius who successfully (and concurrently) took on the mighty British Empire along with the rest of Europe for over 20 years.
It was no small achievement!
Bonaparte, assisted by the mightiest land force Europe had ever seen—the "Grand Armée"—left a wake of military death and destruction in his path—and their well-traveled pathway criss-crossed the European continent many times over! But Napoleon and his colleagues also initiated new (and in some ways positive) practices and reforms in military matters, civil administration, and education that continue to bear the imprint of his long historical shadow even today.
Some like to compare Napoleon to Hitler, and in some ways that comparison is merited. After all, both men were endlessly ambitious, short-tempered, and willing to sacrifice legions of their soldiers to satisfy their own, vain, unquenchable war aims. But in a variety of other ways, this comparison is imprecise—to say the least.
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With Napoleon, France deposed an autocratic
monarchy and replaced it with an autocratic dictator. |
Unlike Hitler, Napoleon was not guilty of genocide, nor were all of his military campaigns and exploits unprovoked. Quite to the contrary, all of Europe's monarchies (the British Crown included) were fearful of French Republican fervor spilling beyond French borders and into their own capitols and countrysides. Indeed, the French Revolution spelled potential doom for Kings and Queens all over the Continent if the old establishment failed to defeat (or at least contain) the brash, brilliant, mercurial, and unpredictable Bonaparte.
Consequently, the Great Powers of Europe were more-or-less united in their desire and commitment to subdue Napoleon and halt the progress of his rapidly expanding French Empire. And to their embarrassment and chagrin, it took 20 years and SEVEN (7) different European military coalitions to finally cage the lion-emperor Bonaparte, diminish his dominions, and bring the French Empire to its knees. Only a genius of extraordinary capacity and energy could have fended off such a massive continental front of mostly united opposition for so long. Alas, one can argue that Napoleon's overall legacy bears the vestiges of some redeeming qualities—something that is virtually impossible in Hitler's case.
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Freedom Focused is a Meritocracy
built on the meritocratic principle that you
get what you are willing to work for (earn). |
One of the most enlightened and inspiring developments of Napoleon's reign was the institution of MERITOCRATIC PRINCIPLES in both government and the military. This idea was novel for the time, yet still lacks the traction it ought to have in our post-postmodern world. Freedom Focused is, of course, doing everything in our power to influence positive change in support of meritocratic ideals.
In today's culture of presentism, progressive culture warriors are quick to toss the proverbial baby out with the bathwater when it comes to judging history by more or less condemning everyone and everything in the past as savage and barbaric worthy only of their contempt—at least in comparison with their highly enlightened and essentially perfect selves, who, they self-righteously purport, are cultural and political saints and saviors capable of ushering in a long-awaited utopia forged in their own ideal image... if only those modern barbarians (their political and cultural opponents) would shut up and fall into line according to their austere and inflexible marching orders.
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Sir Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill
1874-1965 |
It is not, of course, that simple or black and white, and Winston Churchill's sage caveat is worth its weight in gold here:
If the present tries to sit in judgment of the past, it will lose the future.
"If the present tries to sit in judgment of the past, it will lose the future."
—Winston Churchill
Ever an ardent, eager, and enthusiastic student of history, I agree with Sir Winston, and prefer to study history rather than judge it... in a never-ending effort and quest to LEARN as much as I can from both the good and bad sides of its endlessly fascinating actors.
Napoleon once observed that: Ability is nothing without Opportunity.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
Emperor of the French
(1804-1815)
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"Ability is nothing without Opportunity."
—Napoleon Bonaparte
Bonaparte makes an interesting point. After all, even Napoleon was once just an insignificant little nobody from the Franco-Italian backwaters of Corsica. But then, in 1793, at the age of just 24, he orchestrated a masterstroke on the battlefield to lift the Siege of Toulon for the fledgling French Republic; and the rest is, as they say, HISTORY!
Sadly, Napoleon was more interested in reinstalling the French Monarchy by another name, with himself donning the crown, than he was in bolstering the long-term potential of the French Republic. And it was that selfishness, egotism, and narcissism that ultimately led to his (and his Empire's) downfall. But there is no question that at Toulon, he was at his energetic, intelligent, and inspirational best—and a grateful Republican Directory rewarded him according to his MERIT by promoting him to the military rank of Brigadier General, something that never would have happened to a 24-year old under monarchial rule.
Unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on how you look at it—at age 43, my "Toulon moment" has still not arrived. My big chance to outwork, outsmart, outflank, and outfight the Royalists and their Anglo-Spanish allies to liberate Toulon remains in my future—but rest assured, I am not going to let the opportunity slip through my fingers and go to waste once it arrives!
The fact that I am 43
sans my own Toulon opportunity makes me feel more like Edmond Dantès—still stuck in chains at the
Château DÃf after 14 years of captivity—than Napoleon.
But I take heart in the realization that, like Dantès, I still have a lot of productive living left in me. And as I've said before—and I'll say it again—the best revenge is not hampering, hindering, or hurting your opponent; the best revenge is simply to become successful yourself!
"Success is the greatest revenge."
— Dr. JJ
Furthermore, if I've metaphorically been in prison these past twenty years, it's the nicest prison in human history! So there is really no need to complain. Besides, my big break is still coming; it just remains in the future. As long as I remain patient, all scores will be fairly settled in the end.
I still possess the vigor, vim, energy, enthusiasm, and youthful vitality to embrace my big break when it does come, and I will finally lift the two-decades long siege on my career progress and get the ball rolling into "Italy" and beyond... or wherever the Boss directs me from here. And speaking of energy, I've run nearly 800 miles and lost 8 pounds the past 14 weeks, which is helping to boost that still-youthful energy. I've got hundreds of more miles and 14 pounds (minimum) left to shed and will publish a blog article on my progress and results once I've earned enough of both.
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ACRES of DIAMONDS
Many have traveled the world over in search of gold
and diamonds only to discover in the end that their greatest
riches were right in their own mind, heart, home, or backyard. |
It's important to note here that when it comes to my "Big Break," I think chances are good it's already come and I'm presently pursuing it.
What do I mean?
If you've ever read
Acres of Diamonds by Russell Conwell, you know
exactly what I am talking about. And if you haven't yet read
Acres of Diamonds by Conwell, I highly recommend you do so.
Click HERE to buy ACRES of DIAMONDS by Russell Conwell.
This point about Acres of Diamonds is significant because the truth is that I received my BIG BREAK nearly 20 years ago when I first set out to build Freedom Focused... and I've had the privilege, pleasure, satisfaction, and joy of living that big break ever since. While my work has yet to achieve what the world would term a "Big Break" in terms of monetary success, popular influence, or organizational authority, the fact remains that for twenty (20) years, I have received opportunity after opportunity to travel, write, publish, learn, grow, and otherwise build a firm foundation for all that is to come in the 2020s, 30s, and 40s, etc.
Thus, I really don't need any more opportunity than I already have. I merely need to continue to conscientiously follow the course I have pursued diligently and faithfully for twenty (20) years now—seizing every opportunity along the way.
As long as I do that, the rest will take care of itself. In the gloriously concise and and cogent parlance of the Boss: "You just be the best Jordan you can be, and I'll take care of the rest!"
I believed him 19 years ago when He first told me this; and I believe Him even more now after beholding what He has accomplished through me the past two decades.
This relationship I have with the Boss, and the way in which I prioritize and value it, is the biggest single difference between Bonaparte and myself.
Unlike Napoleon, my movements and ambition have been, are, and continually will be checked and bridled by a hundred different horse bits of the Boss, willingly applied by myself and my own faith and principle-centered conscience. I believe that is the key to avoiding my own Leipzig, Paris, Elba, Waterloo, and St. Helena. I pray continually and earnestly that I might prove TRUE and FAITHFUL in all things according to His divine direction and restraints. If I succeed in doing so, I cannot ultimately fail. If I fail to do so, I cannot ultimately succeed. And in the end, the
choice is mine and mine alone to make—just like it is yours and yours alone to make. Thus it is that our destinies are determined by the individual CHOICES we make
over time.
I've always considered myself to be an ignorant fool compared to the Boss's infinite wisdom. As such, my number one priority in life and career has always been to hearken to the Boss's direction to the best of my imperfect ability. That's why I jumped at the opportunity to teach school for a year back in 2009. It is also why I applied to West Point and all those other colleges and universities back in 2016.
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With the Boss as my Guide & Protector
I will always ultimately succeed. |
I'm always trying to figure out the Boss's will in my life.
Sometimes doing so is tricky.
As a wise man once prophetically cautioned me back in 1995: "In many instances your life will not be easy. There will be difficult decisions and challenging circumstances present themselves in your life; perhaps challenges to your health and well being—certainly challenges to your happiness."
Oh, how TRUE those words have proven to be over the last three decades!
As mentioned above, nearly 20 years ago the Boss instructed me very explicitly that if I would simply be the best Jordan I could be, He would, and I quote: "take care of the rest." He has certainly kept His word on that promise these past 19 years, albeit sometimes in very different ways than I had originally envisioned for myself.
In the short run, it can be devilishly difficult to figure out exactly what He is up to in His continual molding processes. And I've come to the conclusion that it's not my job to know every precise detail. It's simply my job to do the best I can and keep moving forward in faith. Thus, while I haven't figured out the entire picture yet, I nevertheless have a simple and abiding faith that allowing His will to prevail in my life is unquestionably the best, happiest, and wisest course of action in the long run. After all, I've seen this reality play out time-and-time again throughout my life and career.
In my pursuit of freelance writing and other entrepreneurial endeavors over the years, and knowing of the Boss's absolute omniscience and omnipotence in the affairs of men (as scripture puts it: All Flesh is in My Hands), I have often been surprised that He has not directed me elsewhere more often along the way. There are, after all, so many different potential places and positions I could have ended up in terms of both marriage and career.
I would have readily submitted to His will
whenever and
wherever had He directed me somewhere other than the path I have thus far trodden. Yet, with the exceptions of that ONE YEAR of high school teaching in Houston back in 2009-2010, the pursuit of my doctoral degree in education from 2009-2013, and my sporadic contract training career spanning 2007-2016, the Boss has been perpetually content with allowing me full FREEDOM to pursue my own career pathway according to the nudging of my own best instincts working continually in concert with His gentle and ongoing direction throughout the process. Along the way, He's helped me to learn some lessons the only way I
seemingly could learn them—through the hard knocks of real life experience. As painful as many of those lessons were, I'm so grateful for His patient permission to find my own path in the singular ways that I uniquely needed.
Knowing He could have easily pointed me in a dozen-or-more different directions at any given moment or juncture along the way, I have often been surprised at how long of a leash He has afforded me.
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| Ahhhhh, the Glory of individual liberty and personal FREEDOM! |
What a distinct HONOR and magnificent BLESSING it has been to have been granted such enormous FREEDOM!
Being "Freedom Focused" as I always am, I cannot fully express the gratitude I feel for such liberty, which has allowed me to travel widely, study vigorously, and explore extensively in an ongoing effort to learn, develop, organize, and articulate my thoughts and beliefs on certain vital topics dear to my heart, mind, and soul, and which I so earnestly desire to share with others.
This long leash has afforded me the opportunity to publish FOUR (4) seminal academic journal articles and a 2-Volume Textbook on Self-Action Leadership. All of this material stands ready for rapid dissemination to students anywhere and everywhere jut as soon as the Boss determines it is time to utilize the material on a broader scale.
Meanwhile, I have published 320 blog articles with no intention of stopping any time soon. I absolutely LOVE to blog; few things come more naturally or spontaneously to me. It is such a joy and satisfaction to publish a new article each week. I am pleased to report that I am on schedule to hit the 100,000 mark for readership "hits" since beginning this blog 10 years ago. Hopefully I won't have to wait 10 more years for the next hundred thousand hits, and the next, and the next, etc. But even if I do... it doesn't really matter because I love doing it so much that the biggest reward is not the attention I get; the greatest payment is the satisfaction and joy accrued from the activity itself in conjunction with the wonderful sense of accomplishment that comes with each newly published article.
I am so looking forward to where the Boss will take this work
next as I continue to blog and plant seeds and write...
And teach...
And teach...
And write!
Despite this unique adversity and unrelenting difficulty—something I would be loath to ever repeat (Thank God I don't ever have to repeat it)—it has, in the aggregate, been a wonderful journey, highly favored, and unquestionably worth it, and I bow before my Maker in humble gratitude, faithful reverence, and heartfelt worship for the experience, growth, satisfaction, joy, and wonder of it all. Indeed, it never ceases to AMAZE me the broad extent and endless array of God's Tender Graces and Mercies which continually serve as compensating favors for whatever crosses I am called upon to bear. And it seems the heavier the burden, the more tender and extensive the Grace and Mercy. At least that has been my ongoing experience. Thus, my implicit and unwavering faith in Jesus Christ and His infinite and omnipotent atoning power just gets stronger with each new obstacle He helps me to transcend.
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| Life is a wonderful ADVENTURE! |
LIFE is such a grand ADVENTURE. Yet it is nothing compared to what comes afterwards for the faithful. I pray earnestly for the strength and endurance to live TRUE and FAITHFUL to my covenants during my adventure
here so that I might qualify fully for the far greater adventures
there.
I love, admire, and respect all those who have supported me over the years as I have battled mental, emotional, relational, spiritual, and career struggles in conjunction with wending my way through a two-decades' long career that, despite its adventures and accomplishments, has also been filled with an endless array of fits-and-starts mingled with a perpetual uncertainty that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy!
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Next to life itself, our greatest gifts are
liberty and FREEDOM. |
But that's just how it goes... there are always two sides to everything in this world. The greater a blessing and opportunity is, the greater the challenges, difficulties, and struggles will be that accompany it. That just seems to be the way things work in
this world. We cannot change the consequences of our decisions; we are powerless to alter the "other side" of the sticks or coins we
choose to pick up in our lives. But we are always FREE to strive to go after the very best coins and sticks we can possibly discover, earn, and receive; and therein lies potentially immense power to shape our ultimate destinies. I accept this great TRUTH and REALITY, and aim to go forth with faith, determination, persistence, vision, and hope until the end—and beyond!
Know this: that ev'ry soul is free.
To choose his life and what he'll be.
For this eternal truth is giv'n.
That God will force no man to heav'n.
He'll call, persuade, direct aright,
And bless with wisdom, love, and light,
In nameless ways be good and kind,
But never force the human mind.
Freedom and reason make us men;
Take these away, what are we then?
Mere animals, and just as well
The beasts may think of heav'n or hell.
May we no more our pow'rs abuse,
But ways of truth and goodness choose
Our God is pleased when we improve
His grace and seek His perfect love.
~ Anonymous
To YOU, my family, friends, colleagues, associates, and readers: I wish you all holistic health and wealth and wonderful happiness, satisfaction, and success in your own beautiful families and exciting careers moving forward. Thank you for your support of me and your fine examples of determination, persistence, and excellence; it is one of the many things that inspires me to always be my imperfect BEST.
With Love, Respect, and Best Wishes,
—Dr. JJ
May 9, 2023
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 320th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 146th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.
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