These are important questions.
Because whether you like it or not, you have to spend all of your time with YOURSELF throughout your entire life! As such, it behooves all of us to live our lives in a manner that maximizes the likelihood that we like ourselves, trust ourselves, and enjoy being with ourselves.
If you multiply seven (7) days by twenty-four (24) hours, you get 168. Yep... one-hundred and sixty eight (168) is the number of hours in a week.
You've heard the phrase "24-7"; well, after reading this article, you'll think of it more in terms of 24-7-168.
To begin, I'm going to give you a little homework assignment to be completed right now. Please get a pen or pencil and a piece of paper (or a note-taking app on your phone). Next, write the number "168" on the top of the page. Then, approximate how many hours each week you spend with the various people in your life.
To illustrate how this works, consider my own results to this little assignment, as follows:
How does Dr. JJ spend his time each week? 55 hours with my wife (asleep)... if she is not traveling for work.
12 hours with my wife (awake)... if she is not traveling for work.
13 hours with my family (wife & kids)... if Lina is not traveling for work
55 hours with my kids
5 hours with friends and neighbors
5 hours with church friends and congregants
23 hours by myself (when kids are at school)
168 hours Total
************** Now, complete this exercise for yourself **************
Once you have completed this exercise, please complete the same exercise THREE (3) more times, but for different time periods of your life. For example, I am a 43-year old, married, stay-at-home Dad. My hourly breakdown was a lot different when I was 8, 18, and 28 than it is when I'm 43. Moreover, it will look a lot different when I am 53 or 73 than it does when I am 43.
You will obviously have to rely on your memory to complete this exercise for past periods in your life; and you have have to make some assumptions and guesses when completing this exercise for future periods of your life. That is okay. It doesn't have to be perfectly precise; just approximate the best you can.
************** Now, complete this exercise for yourself **************
After completing FOUR (4) different time period breakdowns, you will notice that different periods of life differ significantly in terms of how you spend your time, and especially as it relates to other people. For example, you are likely to spend a lot more time with your friends and other peers when you are young than when you are middle-aged or elderly. And you are more likely to spend a lot more time with your kids if you are a stay-at-home parent than if you work full-time outside of the home.
So... what's the POINT of this exercise?
The point is pretty simple, and that is to draw attention to an inescapable FACT that every single one of us must face throughout our lives, and that is this: No matter how much time you spend with other people at any given time period of your life, you have, are, and will yet always spend 168 hours with YOURSELF.
 |
You talking about me?
That's right... YOU've gotta spend every single
second of your entire life with YOURSELF! |
As such, it's pretty important to become the kind of person that you like and enjoy spending time with!If you look back at my own list, you will notice that I tallied only twenty-three (23) hours by myself; but the fact is that when I'm spending time with other people, I'm
also technically spending time with myself as well. So, in other words, no matter what, you cannot escape being with yourself!
This statement of fact may be either good news or bad news depending on how much you like, trust, appreciate, and respect yourself. In reality, however, all of us experience a variety of different emotions about ourselves throughout our lives. As such, one's SELF-ESTEEM is never really static; it is always either progressing positively or regressing negatively.
If, in the main, you have positive feelings about yourself, chances are you may be on the right track headed toward Self-Action Leadership and the glory and joy Existential Growth. If, on the other hand, you mostly have negative feelings about yourself, chances are you may be on the wrong track headed away from Self-Action Leadership and into the abyss of existential atrophy.
Either way, none of us is perfect; we all have experiences heading in both directions throughout our lives (sometimes in the same day, or even hour!), and can therefore benefit from this POWERFUL mental exercise.
And why is this exercise so powerful?
Because it affords us opportunities to engage in deep introspective work that can lead towards an improved relationship with ourselves. After all, like it or not, we spend an awful lot of time with ourselves; in fact, we spend
all of our time with ourselves—always.
Stephen R. Covey taught the importance of having a "Rich Inner Life" if we are to find authentic success, happiness, and inner peace in our lives. Covey was spot on in his assessment of the importance of this concept, especially as it relates to self-action leaders.
So what exactly constitutes a "Rich Inner Life"?
There are many answers to this question, but for the sake of this article, I would like to discuss FIVE (5) things we can do as self-action leaders that will contribute to our experiencing an increasingly rich inner life.
1. Obtain and then maintain a clear conscience
2. Cultivate a curious intellect
3. Nurture your spirituality
4. Take time to appreciate and enjoy nature
5. Wisely spend your "alone time"
First,
obtain and then maintain a clear conscience.
Each and every one of us has to live with one's own conscience. No one can escape this reality. But each of us can choose to live in ways that ensure our conscience is as clear and clean as possible and then trusting that serendipity and grace will take care of whatever lies beyond our control.
There are few (if any) greater blessings in life than to be able to lay your head down on your pillow at night with a clear conscience in your relationships with other people and God. Even non-religious persons experience guilt, and it is never a pleasant emotion. To paraphrase a couple of wise men long since passed away: "You simply cannot do wrong and feel right," and "A man must live with his conscience."
And in the words of Glen Campbell: "There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience."
“There is no pillow as soft as a clear conscience.”
– Glen Campbell
Self-action leaders strive to live their lives and pursue their careers in as guilt-free a manner as possible. By so doing, they are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually liberated to expend their energy on more pleasant emotions, such as joy, love, pleasure, satisfaction, and inner peace. They understand that a clear conscience comes with a price which must be paid for in effort in the form of upright conduct and repentance in the wake of errors. They also comprehend the difference between authentic guilt and neurotic guilt. The former is healthy and leads us to make necessary course changes and perform restitution (insofar as possible) when we have misstepped. The latter is an indication that we may need to seek help—or at the very least, apply a measure of self-help so we can come to better see things as they really are, avoid being unnecessarily hard on ourselves, or otherwise experiencing excess amounts of guilt or shame.
Second,
cultivate a curious intellect. Intellectually curious people aren't afraid to be alone; in fact, they often crave solitude because it allows them to read widely and deeply in conjunction with studying, writing, pondering, and reflecting. Self-action leaders typically find enormous pleasure, satisfaction, an fulfillment in nurturing their intellect, and they are creative and flexible in their approach to satiating healthy desires to grow and expand their cognitive capabilities. They read. They study. They observe. They ask questions. They search and research. They ponder. They reflect. And they do all of these things over and over and over again.
Third, nurture your spirituality. You do not have to be religious to nurture your spirituality; although it can certainly help if you are. Whether you decide to be part of an official religion, sect, or congregation—or not—there are numerous ways in which you can nurture the spiritual element of your nature, such as: prayer, meditation, conscience attunement, yoga, physical exercise, quiet reflection, psychotherapy, group therapy, nature walks/hikes/camps, interpersonal conversation, volunteer service, etc.
Fourth,
take time to appreciate and enjoy nature. The natural world is brimming with color, life, variety, and natural beauty; take time to notice and enjoy these lavish and ubiquitous natural wonders. In doing so, you don't need to travel far or seek out exotic, foreign destinations; although such adventures can be lovely and refreshing if they fit into your budget and schedule. No matter
where you may find yourself throughout this wide world of ours, you can find peace, solace, and healing in nature if you will seek it out. From a blade of grass and a bouquet of flowers to a simple tree or a vibrant ladybug; from a fluffy white cloud or a bright blue sky to a sunrise or sunset, there are so many beautiful and brilliant living things all around us that will bless our lives if we will pay closer attention to them.
“Give me health and a day,
and I will make the pomp of emperors look ridiculous.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
I've had the opportunity to travel a great deal in my life and career, especially on the North American continent where I've visited all U.S. 50 States, 8 Provinces of Canada, Mexico, Washington D.C., Puerto Rico, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Along the way I have come to appreciate the natural beauties of nature wherever I've gone. Nature provides a rich and an illustrious cornucopia of majestic blessings just waiting for us to enjoy them—if only we will!
One of the things that often surprises me is how empty nature trails are—even in areas of high population density. While this is nice for me personally, it also makes me sad that more people do not take more advantage of getting out to walk, run, or otherwise take in the fresh and fragrant essences of the natural world. Self-action leaders comprehend the extraordinary riches to be found in nature and are quick to spontaneously partake of those riches whenever they have the chance.
Fifth,
wisely spend your "alone time." Many people are loathe to spend time alone; some are even fearful of the prospect of being all by themselves. This sense of personal insecurity causes them to feel the need to constantly surround themselves with other people, things, or media stimuli. Self-action leaders, however, not only value solitude; they learn to appreciate and even crave it. They understand how enormously productive and therapeutic it can be to spend "quiet time"away from people and other distractions (including media distractions). They crave the opportunity to think, read, ponder, reflect, etc. They further comprehend that the ability to healthily spend time
away from others makes them a wiser and more pleasant companion when they
do spend time with other people.
To recap... our lives are continually changing from one stage to another. But there is one constant that remains the same throughout every stage of our lives—and that is the amount of time we spend with ourselves—168 out of 168 hours of every week for the entirety of our lives.
No matter who we are, where we live, or what we may be doing at any given point in our lives, we cannot escape ourselves; we all spend 168 hours with ourselves every single week of our life. What are YOU doing TODAY to make this fact a more pleasant, productive, prosperous, and peaceful reality?
—Dr. JJ
March 15, 2023
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 312th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 138th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.
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