As regular readers of the Freedom Focused blog will recall, I recently returned to PSYCHOTHERAPY for the first time since 2018.
It was the 8th time in my life I had sought out professional counseling for mental and emotional-related issues.
Yesterday, I had my seventh and final session of this recent round of therapy with my new, online counselor (psychotherapist).
Why was it my last session, at least for now? What was it that made session #7 my lucky last appointment with my counselor?
Good question, and the answer is this...
Because by the time of my seventh session, I had accomplished the goals I had set out for this—my 8th round of counseling to date in my life and career.
 |
Therapy has, once again, helped me become unstuck. If—
or, more likely, when—I become stuck again, I will return again
to therapy, like I have time-and-time again throughout my life. |
In other words, to paraphrase Dr. M. Scott Peck, whereas I had found myself
stuck back in June, I was able to get "
unstuck" through the seven professional counseling sessions and the important work I personally invested throughout the process.
It took SEVEN (7) sessions to achieve the targeted objectives I laid out for myself when I entered therapy for the 8th time back in June. And now I am both doing and feeling much better than I was when I began therapy.
When will I return to therapy for my 9th go-round, you ask?
Another good question!
The answer is this: if—or more likely when—I find myself stuck again. In other words:
"Whenever I need to go back into therapy."
This latest round of psychotherapy was a new experience and adventure for me because it was the first time I had ever taken the Telehealth, or virtual counseling, route. This means I never met my counselor in-person, although our online ZOOM sessions provided the next-best alternative. In hindsight, I do think in-person counseling is the best option—the IDEAL—when that option is available to you. Nevertheless, my wife's work benefits' package has an excellence virtual option, so I decided to give virtual counseling a try and it ended up working out quite well. In some ways it was even preferable to traditional in-person counseling because I didn't have to travel, which made it possible to conduct each session from the comfort of my own home office. Moreover, each session still proved to be very personal—similar to the dynamic that exists in traditional, face-to-face psychotherapy.
 |
My latest round of psychotherapy involved Telehealth, something that was new to me. |
The counselor I decided to work with was wonderful. She was kind, thoughtful, knowledgeable, empathetic, and encouraging—all the qualities you want in a quality mental health professional. A young woman—younger than me—she is still in the earlier stages of her career. In some ways that was a concern for me because younger professionals bring less experience and experience-gleaned wisdom to the table than older counselors who have been "in the saddle" longer. On the other hand, younger counselors tend to bring an energy and enthusiasm to the relationship and therapeutic process that you don't always get with older, more experienced professionals.
So, it's a trade-off.
 |
Dermatillomania is an anxiety disorder I've struggled with for most of my life. It manifests itself by biting, picking, or pulling at one's own skin. |
I was willing to take the risk of working with a younger counselor because I have had positive experiences counseling with younger therapists in the past. My experience has taught me that oftentimes the added energy, enthusiasm, passion, and sincerity can help compensate for whatever experience one lacks; not always, mind you—but often.
I chose to work with a woman because most of my counselors in the past have been female and I have learned over time that I feel more comfortable working with women than men in a psychotherapeutic setting and environment. This is, of course, just a personal preference of mine. There are many GREAT male mental health care providers; I have had some excellent ones myself.
As I mentioned in my article about my return to therapy back in June, I mentioned "DERMATILLOMANIA" as one of the issues I desired to work on in this latest round of therapy.
Well... I am pleased to announce that I have received much help with this affliction over the course of my counseling sessions, so much so that as I type this today, I have ZERO band-aids on my fingers and thumbs and my ten digits look and feel healthier than they have in many months. More importantly, I feel more desirous and motivated to continue this positive progress indefinitely into the future. Whereas I was once a slave to the impulses of dermatillomania, I am now a FREE man capable of choosing to have clean, nicely groomed fingers.
And that is what being Freedom Focused is all about... increasing your personal FREEDOM through Self-Action Leadership.
And if I get stuck again—which I might—I am prepared to return to therapy again.
 |
Dr. JJ's post-counseling Dermatillomania-FREE fingertips.
This picture of personal FREEDOM was taken on 8-22-22.
Click HERE to read about the ring on Dr. JJ's right finger. |
After all, I've already been to counseling on eight (8) different occasions throughout my life so far. If I need to make a 9th, 10th, or 11th trip in the future, I am humbly prepared to do just that.
In addition to dermatillomania, I was able to address and receive help with some other issues I had been struggling with as well. In every particular, I have made progress and achieved growth, and am happier and less stressed out as a result.
What a deal!
Specifically, my new counselor introduced me to a couple of different therapeutic methods with which I was previously unaware.
 |
Dr. Russ Harris's book detailing Acceptance &
Behavior Therapy or just ACT for short. Click
HERE to buy Dr. Harris's Book shown above. |
The first was
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, or
ACT, which is championed by a gifted Australian mental health professional named
Dr. Russ Harris. ACT can be utilized to address a host of different mental and/or emotional difficulties. It is designed to help an individual to accept difficult circumstances and realities in their lives and then take positive, VALUE-based actions that lead one to more desirable emotions and results in the future. ACT refers to these positive, value-based actions as "TOWARD" moves and their opposite behaviors as "AWAY" moves.
The second therapy I learned about is SCAMP—which is an acronym that stands for
sensory, cognitive, affective, motor, and
place—and is a tool specifically designed to help individuals like me who seek to address issues like
dermatillomania (skin picking/pulling) or
trichotillomania (hair pulling). SCAMP aims to focus one's attention on the different triggers that lead a person to pick at one's skin (
dermatillomania) or pull out one's hair (
trichotillomania) prior to developing a plan filled with new coping strategies that replace the unwanted behavior.
These explanations are brief and cursory—more like textbook definitions of ACT and SCAMP. Obviously, there is a lot more to both of these therapeutic methods than a one-paragraph description. For those interested in learning more about ACT or SCAMP, some great information exists online.
Click HERE to learn more about ACT.
Click HERE to learn more about SCAMP.
Dr. Russ Harris—an Australian mental health professional and leading voice in the ACT movement—recently released a new edition of his book out that goes into great detail on the whys and hows of ACT. He also has a lot of helpful videos on YouTube that explain more about this relatively new and unique brand of therapy.
Click HERE to access Dr. Russ Harris's YouTube Videos on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Dr. Harris is an extremely gifted therapist and communicator. I highly recommend his work to anyone who is struggling with anything—not only for its therapeutic benefits, but also for the quality of his unique personality and accompanying personal approach, which I found to be unusually calming, comforting, and soothing—a key component of ACT.
Enhancing Your Mental and Emotional Heath by SIMPLIFYING
 |
The time has come for the Bugler to play "Taps" on Dr. JJ's Cub Scouting career, and my mental health is grateful for the bugler! |
An additional benefit I derived from my time in therapy was coming to the realization that it was time to simplify my life by resigning my post as a Cub Scout Den Leader.
I recently got a new service assignment at Church; I now have three different callings in my local congregation. That is in addition to being a stay-at-home Dad to a nine (9), seven (7), and four (4) year-old. Then there is this weekly blog that I publish. Suffice it to say, all of these responsibilities had become too much for me to handle, not so much physically speaking, but psychologically and emotionally speaking. As I was working through my therapeutic sessions and homework, it dawned on me that something had to give/go if I wanted to maximize my own happiness and mental hygiene.
That something was Cub Scouting.
As a dad, I will still support my kids in the scouting program for as long as they remain involved; but trying to be a Den Leader in addition to everything else I currently have on my plate was starting to make me a little CRAZY.
 |
Dorothy Rasmussen Adams
1910-1998 |
While self-action leaders are ambitious, hard-working, and determined individuals, they also "
Know Themselves" (Socrates), including their limits. Such self-knowledge includes an understanding of when it becomes necessary to say "No."
As I was contemplating the decision to resign from Scouting, I thought about my sweet, Great Aunt
Dorothy Adams (1910-1998). When I was in high school, I did some manual labor for Aunt Dorothy at her Ranch. We became fast friends and I grew to absolutely adore this ambitious, courageous, and driven woman, leader, and personal relative of mine.
Aunt Dorothy was no slouch. Nay; that is too weak... Aunt Dorothy was probably the most service-oriented, caring, and proactive person in the history of my hometown of Monticello, Utah. No wonder she was a recipient of the
Citizen of the Year award in my hometown, among other honors, accolades, admiration, and praise she received throughout her life.
Thanks to Aunt Dorothy, Monticello has a hospital (where I was born in 1979), a swimming pool (where I spent countless hours as a boy with my cousins and friends), a library (where I spent many additional cherished hours reading and studying in my youth), and a Pioneer Park that all citizens were able to enjoy on special occasions—or any other time of the year. And these were just a few of her many projects and accomplishments. Suffice it to say, she was the epitome of a "doer" and a "go-getter."
Despite her obviously busy-bee nature and temperament, she would often repeat a mantra that seemed somewhat counterintuitive to her otherwise ambitious nature. The mantra was:
"You can always say 'NO.'"
 |
| In life, you can always say "No." |
I don't remember exactly how many times she said this to me...
"Jordan: You can always say 'NO,'" but it was definitely more than once or twice, which is partly why I remember it so well.
At the time, I thought it was kind of an interesting thing for someone like her to say because it seemed to me that she never said "No" to anything! What made it even more interesting is that she kept repeating it to me on a number of different occasions—as if to drill it into my long-term memory for future use in my own life and career.
As I reflect back on this experience, it dawns on me that there was probably a time (or perhaps several times) throughout Aunt Dorothy's long and productive life when she found herself in the same situation I find myself in right now—too many things to think about and do—and she realized she would have to say "NO" to someone or something in order to restore her own happiness and sanity. And perhaps sensing a kindred spirit of ambition and drive in me, I suppose she wanted to help prepare me for those times in my life when I would likewise need to take a step back and minimize or simplify.
Whatever her own past experiences or intentions, her lesson and mantra were not lost on me, and I put it to good use a few weeks ago when I decided to let go of Cub Scouting. It was one of the best decisions I've made this year, and I credit it as one of the key takeaways and positive developments of this latest round of professional counseling.
Thus, the benefits of counseling are not always directly related to what you and your counselor specifically address in your therapy sessions. Sometimes the benefits are indirect, peripheral, or perhaps even seemingly unrelated to your explicitly stated therapeutic goals. In other words, some benefits of psychotherapy have a clear and identifiable cause-and-effect relationship, while other benefits come packaged in the serendipitous wrapping of grace and mercy. And the key to unlocking this seemingly magical serendipity in therapy is to courageously, proactively, and willingly seek it out and commit to the hard work that accompanies it.
 |
Transparency and TRUTH—with oneself
and others—is a key component of
AUTHENTICITY and SAL. |
Have you ever wondered why I
choose to be so transparent about my struggles with mental illness and other challenges I've faced throughout my life?
Well, it's pretty simple, really: I do it in hopes that my experiences—and the lessons I've learned and the growth I've experienced—might be helpful to someone else who may struggle similarly. After all, this is the 280th blog article I've published since 2013, and I still haven't made a penny off of it. Moreover, I've made next to nothing on my textbooks and seminars as well. Thousands upon thousands of hours of diligent focus and enthusiastic effort... and for what—if I'm still not making any money for my labors—other than an authentic desire to help others, be a positive influence, and make a meaningful difference in the world by pursuing my passion to organize and write?
My friends, in the famous words of M. Scott Peck, M.D... "Life is Difficult" ... and I would add "Painful" as well. But despite this ever-present and continually-pressing reality, there are principles we can learn and actions we can put into practice that will make it a little less difficult and a little less painful—or maybe even a LOT less difficult and a LOT less painful—in the long-run.
That's my goal in being so unusually transparent about my own, trying, and unique personal journey with mental illness and other life and career challenges. That's also the goal of this blog. And that's the goal of Self-Action Leadership and FREEDOM FOCUSED: to empower YOU and ME to become all we are capable of becoming in this life and world—by helping us circumvent avoidable pitfalls wherever possible and then navigate the unavoidable ones as painlessly and successfully as we can.
 |
At best, life is still difficult and painful
But it can be less so with SAL & Serendipity. |
There will, of course, still be difficulty and pain.
In the words of Wesley (of Princess Bride fame):
"Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something." (1)
Wesley (1) was right!
Truth is, I've never been very good at SALES. I've tried my hand at it for 25 years in a variety of different ways for all kinds of different products and services, and without fail, I have always ultimately failed.
But if there is something I am good at, it is the TRUTH. And the truth of the matter is that, as the old saying goes: while pain may be inevitable, misery is optional.
Never forget that, my friends...
PAIN is inevitable; but MISERY is optional.
It is my hope and prayer that my efforts and sacrifices to seek out and then clearly articulate TRUTH—my own truth in conjunction with TRUTH itself—might prove beneficial to you in some small (or perhaps big) way.
If it does, then I will not have lived in vain.
 |
Emily Dickinson
American Poet
1830-1886
|
In the inspired words of the great poet,
Emily Dickinson...
"If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain:
If I can keep one life from aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto its nest again,
I shall not live in vain."
And in the inspirational verse of Dickinson's fellow 19th century America poet, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow...
"Lives of [others] all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sands of time;
 |
| Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
"Footprints, that perhaps another, Sailing o'er life's solemn main,
A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,
Seeing, shall take heart again.
"Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait."
—Dr. JJ
August 24, 2022
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 280th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 109th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.
Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 279 FF Blog Articles.
.........................
Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.
And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.
To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.
Notes: William Goldman wrote the screenplay for the famous 1987 movie, The Princess Bride.
