The Freedom to Change and Grow

Book the Second

In Pursuit of Change, Growth, and Freedom:

An Introduction to Self-Action Leadership

Dedicated to...

Men and women of conscience and character everywhere who have dedicated their educations, careers, and sometimes their lives to upholding the liberties and expanding the freedoms of nations, states, communities, families, and individuals—including themselves.  

"Freedom is not something that anybody can be given. Freedom is something people take [earn], and people are as free as they want to be."

—James Baldwin

Chapter 1

Freedom to Change and Grow

 

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose."

—Theodore Geisel
         aka Dr. Seuss

I can change.

These three words express one of the greatest powers that YOU, I, and everyone else on the planet possesses as human beings. This remarkable human endowment fundamentally separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Unlike an ant, bird, dog, fish, horse, lion, or lizard, you and I possess higher-level cerebral capacities and spiritually-oriented hearts and wills that empower us to reason, plan, behave, persist, love, and endure in ways that rise above our natural inclinations and base desires.

Members of the animal kingdom cannot begin to compete with human beings in this regard. However beautiful, curious, and magnificent a praying mantis, eagle, cheetah, marlin, or shark might be, an indisputable primal fact remains: insects, birds, amphibians, reptiles, and all other mammals are different from human beings in a fundamentally existential and metaphysical manner. 

Despite our remarkable retinue of human endowments, which theoretically grant us such a significant advantage over the rest of the animal kingdom, our natural desires and base inclinations are surprisingly similar to animals. What are some of these inclinations and desires? 

Food,

   Drink,

      Sleep,

         Sex,

            Sociality,

               Variety,

                  Action/indolence,

                     Power,

                        Popularity,

                           Gain,

                              Defiance/rebellion,

                                 Superiority,

                                    Revenge,

                                       Escaping reality through artificially induced "highs"

And...

You get the picture. 

To the "better angels of our nature," (1) this list may seem sad—even pathetic. But let's face it: our base natures are programmed to operate under the same basic operating system as animals, meaning...

If it feels good in the moment, do it.

        If someone crosses you, seek revenge.

                Do whatever it takes to satisfy your ego and other innate urges, regardless what those urges are,

And...

When others disagree with you and/or your group, hurl vicious verbal epithets upon them and then shun them from the herd.  

Sometimes it is good—and quite necessary—to satisfy natural desires. Other times it is wiser—and certainly more mature—to discipline, regulate, and in some cases, deny them entirely.

Not all natural inclinations are bad. Some, like the instinct of a parent to love and care for one's children, are thoroughly good. But most of the time, most of us are not naturally motivated to exemplify the higher characteristics and ideals of humanity; we usually have to pay a price in time, effort, and sacrifice to practice and develop them until they do feel natural.  

What, then, are some of humanity's higher and nobler characteristics? 

SAL is about developing the
nobler, royal characteristics
of which human beings are 
capable of developing.

Humility,

   Discipline,

      Perseverance,

         Honesty,

            Integrity,

         Hard work,

      Patience,

   Courage,

Self-awareness,

   Self-control,

      Moderation,

         Tolerance,

            Compassion,

         Forgiveness,

     Cleanliness,

  Magnanimity,

Empathy, etc.

The purpose of SAL is to assist and motivate us to eschew our baser inclinations and develop the higher and nobler characteristics of which we are capable. The message and miracle of SAL is that if you really want to change; if you genuinely seek liberation from self-defeating inclinations and damning desires, then it is possible to do so. I know this is true because I've experienced real, lasting changes in my own mind, heart, and soul over time throughout my life. In other words, I have experienced my thoughts, speech, actions, attitudes—even my very being—fundamentally transformed over time. I therefore speak literally when I say: I am not the same person I was five, ten, fifteen, twenty, or thirty years ago.

I'm a different person than I used to be.

        I'm a better person than I used to be.

Over the course of my life, I have been continually and gradually evolving into a greater being than I was before. Such changes rarely came quickly or easily; but through determination, persistence, and the grace and mercies of Serendipity, they eventually came... and continue to come.    

And I'm not the only one. I have both observed and studied similar changes in the minds, hearts, and souls of many other people as well. While such changes may not always be scientifically visible or empirically measurable, they can always be practically observed, enjoyed, and appreciated in the experiences of real life. Such real life testimonies and anecdotes are proof enough that human change is not only possible, but highly desirable.

It is, in part, the very purpose of life itself.   

There are many voices in the world that will tell you otherwise—that you are who you are and there is nothing you can do about it. These voices will try to convince you that you were simply born this or that way—that the makeup of your soul was already set in immovable concrete at your birth—and that there is nothing you can do to alter any of the variables that accompanied you upon your entrance into this world. 

Don't listen to those voices; they are NOT telling you the truth.

        Moreover, what a boring lie! 

The truth is this: as an independent human being with a mind, heart, and spiritual essence of your own, you possess both the liberty and capacity to change—if change is what you sincerely seek. And how do you know if you sincerely desire to change? The answer to that question is: if you are willing to pay the price in time, effort, and self-sacrifice that change always demands.

Talk is always cheap unless backed up by action. 

        Thus, it is your ACTIONS that ultimately determine your destiny.  

If, on the other hand, you do not want to change, you also possess the liberty to remain as you are. This text was not written to try and brainwash you into thinking, saying, doing, or being something or someone against your will. Quite to the contrary, nothing is more sacred to us at Freedom Focused than FREE WILL—our own and yours. Rest assured, I—and we—will always honor and respect your liberty to choose. Personal agency (freedom of choice) is absolutely sacrosanct to us. At Freedom Focused, we consider it to be fundamentally inviolable. After all, we don't want anyone else telling us what to think about, say, do, or be against our will.

I want everyone to respect my agency

        And you can be certain that I will always respect your agency.

Nor were these books written to try and convince you that you have to change. You don't have to change. You do have to deal with the consequences of your choices—whatever they may be—but you are always free to choose what you will or will not think about, say, or do. But if you sincerely want to change more than you desire to remain as you are, the message of this book is that you can. Just as importantly, this textbook is filled with principles and practices you can readily apply to begin making change real in your life and career.  

This book was not written to coerce or force you—or anyone else—to think about, say, do, or be anything you don't want to be. They were written to expand your vision of your own personal, professional, and existential potential and then invite you to pursue a pathway that promotes the highest realization of that potential. They were written to help you to help yourself—but only if you want to help yourself. And when I use the word want, I am not talking about a mere passing whim or passive wish to change. I am talking about a deep and authentic desire backed up by the will to devote whatever amount of time and energy that authentic change may require. After all, the price for real change is rarely small; but the rewards are big—and incredibly worth it.

What a privilege it is to be a member of the most advanced species on the planet—the only species capable of authentic, existential change. This textbook outlines a way to exercise this unique, personal power to transcend potentially destructive desires and inclinations.

If you'd like to learn more...

        Then read on!

Facts vs. Feelings

Typically, the exercise of noble and royal characteristics does not feel natural. You must pay a price in time, effort, and self-sacrifice to practice them until they do feel natural. The miracle of being human is that you possess the power to align your desires with deeply help values, goals, and beliefs—even when they may deviate significantly from natural predilections with which you were born. 

Unlike animals, YOU have an existentially advanced brain that allows you to reason logically. Animals can feel and respond to situations according to natural instinct, but they cannot critically analyze their past or consciously plan their future in the same way that human beings can; nor can they develop strategic existential goals or otherwise make concrete plans to change and grow in a long-term, existential sense. 

This means that YOU—unlike an animal—are not predetermined to act merely according to how you feel. You possess the power to transcend natural feelings and respond in deference to consciously determined values, facts, beliefs, and goals. This is good news because no matter how important or meaningful feelings may be, facts must usually trump feelings if we are to act strategically and successfully in pursuit of worthy targeted objectives.  

This is not to say that you should disregard or steamroll your feelings (or someone else's) just because you are in possession of the facts. A wise man once taught me that in most practical cases, it is better—and certainly wiser—to be easy to live with than it is to be right.

"There are times in life when it is important to be right.

But most of the time it is more important to be easy to live with."

—Christoffel Golden

With this in mind, I do not encourage you to stomp on other people's feelings (or your own) with facts—even if you can prove that you are right. Efforts at persuasion should always be accompanied by compassion and love, including a sincere interest in—and tender regard for—another person's feelings (including your own). 

Nevertheless, when viewed through a lens of your own long-term growth and development, it is absolutely essential that YOU do not let your own feelings blind you from facts, reality, and consequences. It is better to suffer through the short-term emotional pain from delaying gratification or admitting wrongdoing than it is to endure the long-term agony that usually results from allowing your feelings to trump facts and otherwise react emotionally based strictly on your feelings in the heat of the moment.

It's not that feelings don't matter; they do—a great deal, in fact. After all, I believe our ultimate purpose as human beings involves becoming the recipients of lavish and lasting feelings of satisfaction, pleasure, joy, love, and fulfilment. Without feelings, life would be an insipid and meaningless journey to nowhere. On the other hand, without the guidance of facts, feelings alone my influence you to engage in baggage-laded behaviors that carry devastating long-term consequences, which, in-turn, produce some of the most unpleasant feelings of all—the very thing you were trying to avoid by caving to your feelings in the first place. 

The purpose of focusing on facts is not to obscure, diminish, or deny feelings. The purpose of focusing on facts is to motivate and empower your will to channel the powerful energy of feelings into the positive production of lasting achievements, success, and states of mind marked by happiness and inner peace. Facts must therefore inform your feelings in order for feelings to flourish to their fullest and most positive potential. 

The surest way to maximize positive feelings in the long-run is to control and regulate your behavior in the short-run. Thus, the willingness to sacrifice what you want now for what you want most is the essence of wisdom and character. 

SAL Mantra

The willingness to sacrifice what you want now

for what you want most is the essence of character and wisdom.

Note: This is the first of many SAL Mantras to come. Dr. JJ encourages you to commit these mantras to memory as a means of empowering your mind with positive affirmations and helpful reminders of the core material contained in this Life Leadership handbook. We also encourage you to record each SAL Mantra and reflect upon it in your SAL Journal.  

A Culture of Complacency and Victimization

Think about the last time you heard someone say:

"This is just who I am."

    "I can't change." 

        

        "I was born this way." 

            "I am who I am because of 'so-and-so' or 'such-and-such.'" 

                "It's someone or something else's fault." 

                    "The fault is in my stars and there is nothing I can do about it." 

                        "I blame the universe for my lot in life." 

                            "I am a victim of my ancestry, parenting, background, social status, economic stratification, race, culture, poor choices, destructive habits, bad luck, etc." 

There are many manifestations of the culture of complacency and victimization, but all of them are ultimately rooted in choices to embrace short-sighted desires and inclinations instead of treading the higher pathways of principle and personal responsibility. Instead of rising up to their true potential and choosing their own way as a capable member of a superior species (the Human Race), those cruising around in the complacency crowd or van of victimization choose to view their value as being severely limited and perhaps even pre-determined by forces beyond their control. 

As human beings, we are potential royalty—rulers of the
animal kingdom and guardians and protectors of a planet—
in possession of unlimited innate worth and potential.

The TRUTH is that none of us are bound by whatever tendencies we have towards laziness, lust, immaturity, dishonesty, gossip, addiction, malice, revenge, ill-temperament and ill-will, bigotry, intolerance, etc. Each of us possesses the power of choice. This power grants us the potential to change, to become better, to rise beyond the status of mere animals in human form to rise above negativity and tragedy and live up to our extraordinary potential for ontological achievement and Existential Growth.  

Yes, I can change; and you can change.

        That is the miracle of being human.

It is what makes all human beings potential royalty—rulers of the animal kingdom and guardian- protectors of a planet—in possession of unlimited worth and potential.

Our personal power to elevate ourselves begins in our capacity to think and reason on a higher plane than the rest of the animal kingdom. Our thoughts then lead to concrete actions, which, in-turn influence our self-determined habits.  Over time, our habits begin to shape our character, which, in-turn carves out our destiny. As Ralph Waldo Emerson so eloquently put it: You become what you think about all day long. Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.

1803-1882

"You become what you think about all day long."

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny."

—Ralph Waldo Emerson

This comprehensive life leadership textbook has three fundamental purposes:

1. Proclaim the good news that personal change and Existential Growth are possible.
2. Provide a toolbox full of knowledge and skills to aid you in successfully initiating change and growth processes.
3. Inspire you to animate change and growth on an on-going basis throughout your life and career.

The possibility of—and freedom to—initiate personal changes will create opportunities for some of your life's greatest adventures, challenges, fulfillments, and rewards. SAL provides a vehicle whereby you may proactively pursue and successfully embrace these adventures and challenges to become a happy, successful, and full-actualized human being. 

Self-Action Leadership and Education

Making SAL real in your life requires that you learn and then do. It starts with education, advances with action, and continues with consistence, persistence, and endurance. But it always begins with the acquisition of knowledge. 

Freedom Focused exists to support a Pedagogy of Personal Leadership and Character Education and Development (PPLCED) in governing bodies, nations, communities, businesses, schools, homes, and individual lives. PPLCED refers to: Educational curricula that focuses a student's attention and efforts on taking individual responsibility and developing high character

PEDAGOGY OF PERSONAL LEADERSHIP

AND CHARACTER EDUCATION & DEVELOPMENT

Educational curricula that focuses a student's attention and efforts

on taking individual responsibility and developing high character.  

This textbook provides a Pedagogy of Personal Leadership and Character Education & Development (PPLCED) in the form of the SAL Theory and Model, which provides the instruction necessary to successfully change and grow into the person you are capable of becoming as a human being. 

Exercising self-discipline is harder than giving in to what feels natural. Authentic change requires a sincere commitment from your body, mind, heart, and spirit. Making such a commitment is not always easy. As a result, changing can be extremely challenging and time-consuming. Two of the most important variables in your success will be the strength of your desire to change and your will to persist through difficulties along the way. 

As the famous psychiatrist, M. Scott Peck, MD once said, a "patient's will to grow is the one crucial determinant of success or failure in psychotherapy." (2)  The same can be said of any SAL endeavor or personal change initiative.

How much do you really want to change? A sincere answer to this question cannot be fully expressed in words alone. It can only be answered authentically in ACTION. Talk is cheap unless backed up by action—in the same way that paper currency lacks value unless backed up by precious metals and/or a strong and vibrant economy.

How hard are you willing to work to achieve change in your life and/or career? And how patient are you willing to be along the way? Your action-oriented "responses" to these questions will provide the ink that composes the existential tale of your time here on planet Earth. 

The good news is that change is possible. Weak people can become strong. Diffident people can develop confidence. Poor people can grow wealthy—financially or otherwise—over time. Bitter, vengeful people can learn to forgive and let go of the past. The adversities of your personal history do not have to define your present life; nor are they destined to shape your future—unless you let them.

You can choose to change the direction of your life's journey at any given moment along that journey. In so doing, you can write a whole new story for yourself that generations to come will admire, venerate, and even reverence for its grace and nobility. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise; and believe me when I say that some will try very hard to do so! We will speak more about this craven crowd of existential "crabs" later on in this work. In the meantime, always remember that: to err is human; but to repair and change is divine. 

SAL Mantra

To err is human.

To repair and change is divine

Taking personal responsibility is often inconvenient and uncomfortable. Human beings are not always naturally inclined to work hard, exercise self-discipline and self-denial or delay gratification and sacrifice for the well-being of others. Our base natures simply do not seek after anything that might be challenging, painful, or selfless. Bucking these base trends in our nature requires desire, will, and effort expended consistently over time. But for those who are willing to pay the price, the rewards are rich, wondrous, and wildly worth it!

Whether you know it or like it—or not—we are all members of one mighty interrelated human family, deeply connected to each other in ways that transcend the understanding of even the wisest among us. As such, we carry certain responsibilities towards each other. The neglect of these duties we hold and share can bring about devastating consequences for individuals and groups alike. Selfish behavior is ruinous to relationships and can lead to depression and despair. On the flip side, selfless behavior will often fertilize back to life relationships that have atrophied or even died, and, in-turn lead to much happiness and hope. 

Whatever your past and present may be, there is always HOPE for the future. Despite what countless voices may croon to the contrary, I can change and you can change; but only if we really want to change—and only if we prove the sincerity of our desire by our willingness to pay the high price that authentic change often demands. 

This Textbook for Life was written for those who yearn to escape the menacing metaphysical pulls of adversity, temptation, and peer pressure by owning up to the duties they hold to themselves and others around them. YOU are obviously one of these people, or you wouldn't be reading this book right now. I congratulation you for your desire to be a responsible human being. 

NOW is the time to put your desires into ACTION!  

In Your Journal

1. In what areas of your life do you seek to change and grow?

2. Are your desires for change and growth merely passing whims and passive wishes or deep and authentic yearnings?  How do you know?  

3.  What is something you will begin doing TODAY to start putting your desires into action?   

—Dr. JJ

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 367th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 179th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 366 FF Blog Articles 

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS   

Click HERE to access the FULL TEXT of Dr. JJ's Psalms of Life: A Poetry Collection

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Current Events, Cultural, Philosophical, & Miscellaneous Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

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Chapter 1 Notes

1).  The phrase, The Better Angels of our Nature, appears in the final paragraph of Abraham Lincoln's First Inaugural Address delivered in Washington, D.C., on Monday, March 4, 1861.

The full paragraph reads: "I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, by the better angels of our nature."

2).  Peck, M.S. (1978). The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. New York, NY: Touchstone. Page 299.