Chapter 4
Helping YOU to HELP Yourself
I did not write this book to help you solve your problems, at least not directly. Truth is, I am not an expert at, nor do I particularly enjoy, helping other people solve their problems. I am no Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Oz, or Dr. Phil; nor do I want to be.
My expertise lies in solving
my own problems with the aid of Serendipity and, where necessary, the added assistance of targeted professionals and other experts, as well as laymen and women who can provide additional support. We will talk more about Serendipity in a later chapter, but since I mentioned it here, the word is defined as:
the felicitous aid of unseen forces.
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What is Serendipity?
Science is silent on the subject.
But there are many beliefs about its ontology. |
SERENDIPITY
The felicitous aid of unseen forces.
Some people believe Serendipity results from the concrete workings of a Higher Power (i.e. God); I am one of these believers.
Others believe differently.
There are many different conceptions and viewpoints about what Serendipity actually is. But virtually everyone can agree that there are times in our lives and careers when it seems like there is more at play than what we can immediately see or otherwise sentiently detect.
As the "SAL Guy," my goal is not so much to help you solve your problems as it is to help you to better HELP YOURSELF solve your own problems with the aid of Serendipity and, where needed, the added assistance of targeted professionals, expert, and laymen and women (including family members, friends, colleagues, etc.).
 |
Benjamin Franklin
1706-1790 |
The purpose of this textbook is therefore to teach, empower, and inspire YOU to figure out how to solve your own problems, thereby opening yourself up to the endless opportunities that you possess for achievement, happiness, freedom, growth, and inner peace. If you are willing to help yourself, then this book will prove very useful to you as you patiently work through your own problems with determination and resolve.
You will also open yourself up more fully to Serendipity.
In the words of Benjamin Franklin: God helps those who help themselves.
"God helps those who help themselves."
—Benjamin Franklin
Self-Action Leadership is not intended to be easy; nor is it designed to provide quick-fixes to your problems. Rather, it is intended to provide REAL, actual solutions to your problems. REAL solutions to real problems rarely come fast or easy; but they can come if you are willing to pay the price that authentic solutions demand.
Unlike other self-help books, which are often designed to improve your self-esteem and otherwise "pump-you-up" about your life and career potential, SAL takes a more concrete, academic, and authentic approach. It is not meant to be merely surveyed, scanned, or even just read; it is designed to be seriously studied—much like any other legitimate academic subject (e.g. math, science, language arts, history, technology, etc.)—in order to master it over time.
Like any other subject or textbook, you will get as much out of this textbook as you choose to put into it. I hope you are willing to take this text seriously because doing so could dramatically change your life and/or career. I know this because seriously dedicating myself to the material in this book has dramatically transformed—and continually serves to change and improve—my own life and career.
The Quality of the Individual
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| 1858-1919 |
On April 23, 1910, President Theodore Roosevelt—one of the most universally admired and successful presidents in U.S. history—delivered a speech at the Sorbonne (a famous and very old university in Paris, France). This speech has since become known as Roosevelt's Citizenship in a Republic speech.
A variety of SAL principles, practices, and concepts introduced in this textbook harmonize with many of the points Roosevelt outlines in his famous speech. One of these key points deals with what Roosevelt refers to as "quality individuals" and the essential role they play in a successful and prosperous democratic republic.
According to Roosevelt:
"The quality of the individual is supreme.... In the long run, success or failure [of a democratic republic] will be conditioned upon the way in which the average man, [and] the average woman, does his or her duty, first in the ordinary, every-day affairs of life, and next in those great occasional cries which call for heroic virtues. The average citizen must be a good citizen if republics are to succeed. The stream will not permanently rise higher than the main source; and the main source of national power and national greatness is found in the average citizenship of the nation. Therefore it behooves us to do our best to see that the standard of the average citizen is kept high." [1]
As Roosevelt points out, the quality of a unit or organization (including an entire nation) is entirely dependent on the quality of the individuals who make up that group. The whole goal of Self-Action Leadership is to develop quality individuals who are educated, culturally literate, self-reliant, and most importantly, principle centered-people who are capable of making dependable and meaningful contributions to whatever units, systems, organizations, or entities—no matter how big or small—of which they play a part.
What exactly does it mean to be a quality individual, and how are quality individuals cultivated? According to Roosevelt, the answer lies in the cultivation of character, which is achieved through an education in, and practice of, moral living.
"Let those who have, keep, let those who have not, strive to attain, a high standard of cultivation and scholarship. Yet let us remember that these stand second to certain other things. There is need of a sound body, and even more of a sound mind. But above mind and body stands character—the sum of those qualities which we mean when we speak of a man's force and courage, of his good faith and sense of honor. I believe in exercise for the body, always provided that we keep in mind that physical development is a means and not an end. I believe, of course, in giving to all the people a good education. But the education must contain much besides book-learning in order to be really good. We must ever remember that no keenness and subtleness of intellect, no polish, no cleverness, in any way make up for the lack of the great solid qualities. Self-restraint, self-mastery, common sense, the power of accepting individual responsibility and yet of acting in conjunction with others, courage, and resolution—these are the qualities which mark a masterful people. Without them no people can control itself, or save itself from being controlled from the outside. I speak to [a] brilliant assemblage; I speak in a great university which represents the flower of the highest intellectual development; I pay all homage to intellect and to elaborate and specialized training; and yet ... I add that more important still are the commonplace, every-day qualities and virtues. ...
"No refinement of life, no delicacy of taste, no material progress, no sordid heaping up [of] riches, no sensuous development of art and literature, can in any way compensate for the loss of the great fundamental virtues; ... character must show itself in the man's performance both of the duty he owes himself and of the duty he owes the state. [And a person's] foremost duty is owed to himself and his family. ... He must pull his own weight first, and only after this can his surplus strength be of use to the general public." [2]
Material Acquisition vs. Ontological Development
Many, and perhaps most, self-help books exist to assist men and women, boys and girls, to develop, hone, and sharpen personal and professional mindsets and skills in order to get something (e.g. sales, money, power, prestige, promotion, influence, opportunity, acceptance, mobility, friends, significant other, etc.).
This book is fundamentally different in the sense that its overriding purpose is not to lay out techniques for getting something you don't have, but rather to set forth principles to become something greater than you previously were or currently are.
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Becoming something or someone GREAT takes
time, effort, sacrifice, patience, and determination. |
In the long-run,
getting is best achieved as a natural by-product of
becoming. Getting through becoming is authentic and substantive. It stands in opposition to merely getting lucky by winning the lottery or receiving some other windfall, handout, or dole that you did not earn.
The purpose of the SAL Textbook is to empower you to develop an internal desire to do good for goodness' sake, with the eager (and reasonable) expectation and anticipation that countless blessings will naturally flow toward you throughout the process of becoming.
So... just in case you are worried about the getting aspect of SAL initiatives, you can rest easy because I assure you there will be plenty of getting through the process of becoming.
In truth, the way to get the most you possibly can get out of this life is to focus on becoming. It is, therefore, the very best option available for getting in the long-run; but there is that pesky hyphenated word again—the LONG-RUN.
Unfortunately, most people are too impatient (most of the time) to pay the price that becoming demands. Consequently, they are quick to settle on getting a smaller portion through either minimal effort or, much worse, through dishonest or unethical means.
Those who pursue "quick-fix" or "get-rich-quick" approaches to getting might acquire more in the short-run; but in the long-run they will not only get less, but may end up having what they already have taken away. It doesn't make much sense in the long-run; but it short-run it is always the easier pathway to pursue.
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| Self-action leaders put First-things-First |
The goal of self-action leaders is to avoid putting the proverbial cart (
getting) before the horse (
becoming). Doing so is not easy. It requires vision, self-sacrifice and delayed gratification, hard work, determination, patience, and persistence
over time.
The order of your focus—prioritizing becoming before getting, and the state of your mind, heart, soul, and attitude all along the way—matters, and will greatly influence the long-term evolution of your life's ontological journey—as will whatever related getting may accompany your journey of becoming.
Consider the paradoxical advice of Viktor Frankl, who knew a thing or two about becoming, even while imprisoned in the despairing depths of a Nazi death and labor camp:
"Don't aim at success [getting]—the more you aim at it [getting] and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success like happiness, cannot be pursued; it [getting] must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's dedication to a cause greater than oneself [becoming]. ... Happiness must happen, and the same holds true for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it [getting]. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge [becoming]. Then you will live to see that in the long run—in the long run, I say!—success [getting] will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it [in the process of becoming]." [3]
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"In the long run, [we] only hit
what we aim at."
-Thoreau |
Perhaps you are wondering at this point:
"Well, JJ, what exactly am I supposed to become, and for what purpose?"
These questions were answered by Frankl and Roosevelt above, and the answer is: to become a
quality individual who is morally-rooted, principle-centered, and conscience-attuned.
"Okay, JJ, but why would I want to become this kind of person?"
The answer to this question is simple (in theory), and two-fold.
FIRST, because it's the right thing to do, and doing the right thing always feels good (even if it is not easy).
SECOND, because it is the best (most predictable and assured) way of receiving (getting) as many blessings as you possibly can along the way. In other words, the goal is not to aim at money or things or positions or titles, yet you will, paradoxically, end up with blessings of all kinds (perhaps even money, things, positions, and titles, etc.) as long as you remain consistently focused on doing what is right.
Self-action leaders continually cultivate the simple desire to do what is right and perform one's duty—the duty that is owed to oneself, one's family, community, organization, state, nation, and world—in a faith-driven, hopeful anticipation that innumerable blessings and favors will eventually flow into your life as you faithfully fulfil your duties over time.
It's that simple in theory.
And it's that difficult, yet glorious, in actual practice.
A Textbook for Life
I'm not the first to invoke a moral imperative in teaching personal development related principles and practices. Daniel Goleman, the man who made Emotional Intelligence a well-known term in the English lexicon, called his new field a "pressing moral imperative" [4] in our society. Emotional intelligence refers to the successful bridling and management of your own emotions, and the ability to influence others to do likewise.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCEThe successful bridling and management of your own emotions,
and the ability to influence others to do likewise.
In Goleman's words:
"These are times when the fabric of society seems to unravel at ever-greater speed, when selfishness, violence, and a meanness of spirit seem to be rotting the goodness of our communal lives. ... Those who are at the mercy of impulse—who lack self-control—suffer a moral deficiency: The ability to control impulse is at the base of will and character. ... And if there are two moral stances that our times call for, they are ... self-restraint and compassion." [5]
Goleman continues by pointing out that temperaments are not fixed; they can be changed and that the process of rewiring bad emotional circuitry should begin early in one's life.
"Our genetic heritage endows each of us with a series of emotional set-points that determines our temperament. But brain circuitry involved is extraordinarily malleable; temperament is not destiny. ... This means that childhood and adolescence are critical windows of opportunity for setting down the essential emotional habits that will govern our lives." [6]
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M. Scott Peck felt schools should return to
teaching the Old Proverbs.
We agree with him. |
These challenges must be confronted with EDUCATION,
early,
often, and
always. Fortunately, Goleman "forsee[s] a day when educational curriculums will routinely include essential human competencies such as self-awareness, self-control, and empathy, and the arts of listening, resolving conflicts, and cooperation" in conjunction with core curricular subjects. [7]
M. Scott Peck, M.D., added his voice to the choir by expressing his desire to see a "program of mental health education in our public schools," along with a return to teaching the "old proverbs." [8] The unapologetic aim of this work is to further promote and animate the visions of Goleman, Peck, and other advocates of this nonpareil educational aim.
The SAL Textbook focuses on the weightier matters of education and life. SAL is an umbrella topic under which is sheltered every imaginable subject that relates to a human being's character, holistic health, and overall well-being. Any topic that leads to authentic, long-term happiness, growth, freedom, success, fulfilment, or inner peace has a seat at the table.
These Topics Include,
but are not limited to:
- Accommodation
- Action orientation
- Anticipation
- Balance
- Character Development
- Communication Skills
- Compassion
- Conscientiousness
- Consideration
- Consistency
- Courage
- Courtesy
- Cultural Literacy
- Delayed Gratification
- Determination
- Diligence
- Duty / Dutiful
- Emotional Health
- Emotional Intelligence
- Empathy
- Endurance
- Enthusiasm
- Existential Intelligence
- Faith
- Financial Management
- Fitness
- Focus
- Forbearance
- Foresight
- Forgiveness
- Frugality
- Generosity
- Goal Setting
- Goodness
- Happiness
- Hard Work
- Health
- Hindsight
- Honesty
- Honor
- Humility
- Humor (including self-deprecating and other appropriate forms)
- Impulse Control
- Integrity
- Intentionality
- Interpersonal Skills
- Introspection
- Kindness
- Light
- Listening Skills
- Love
- Loyalty
- Meekness
- Mental Health & Hygiene
- Mission
- Morality
- Nobility
- Nutrition
- Obedience
- Optimism
- Patience
- Peace of Mind
- Persistence
- Personal Grooming & Hygiene
- Pondering
- Punctuality
- Realism
- Realistic Optimism
- Recreation
- Reflection
- Resiliency
- Respect
- Rest & Relaxation
- Restoration
- Restitution
- Reverence
- Sacrifice
- Self-Analysis
- Self-Awareness
- Self-Compassion
- Self-Control
- Self-Discipline
- Self-Help
- Self-Management
- Self-Observation
- Self-Oneness
- Self-Regulation
- Self-Renewal
- Self-Restraint
- Sensitivity
- Service
- Social Intelligence
- Temperance
- Tolerance
- Tranquility
- Trust
- Trustworthiness
- Truth
- Values Clarification
- Values Identification
- Values Prioritization
- Vision
- Wisdom
- Zeal
Despite the self-evident importance of these topics, isn't it strange how you won't find a single comprehensive academic text uniting these subjects into one great whole or underneath one, grand umbrella? Amidst the mountains of textbooks and other academic material out there, where is the secular textbook on LIFE ITSELF?
Where is the syllabus for becoming an effective, happy, and fully actualized human being?
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SAL provides a KEY to solving our world's problems,
one self-action leader at-a-time. |
Where on Earth (or the Internet) can you locate and access a holistic guide for safely and successfully navigating this troubled Planet of ours? You will not find it in schools, colleges, universities, public libraries, or even online...
Until NOW!
There are many religions, philosophies, creeds, and dogmas out there and each has books that promote their various doctrines. Many of these books are good books worth reading. Some of these books have even inspired me in my own work. I am unaware, however, of a secular work that is both philosophically comprehensive and ideologically balanced/neutral that offers anything close to what the SAL Textbook offers.
I have therefore determined to write the text myself.
It has taken me 20 years to accomplish the feat; and I have no regrets about pursuing this quest, despite the endless temporary failures, rejections, and being ignored along the way.
This makes the SAL Textbook extremely unique and places the work alone by itself atop a brand new field of inquiry—even the subject of SELF-ACTION LEADERSHIP—a domain I hope and trust will eventually be combed over-and-over-and-over again so thoroughly in the future by scholars, practitioners, and laymen and women that it will, in due time, be fully tapped for the everlasting benefit of mankind, so long as the human race shall stand in this world.
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The great VOYAGE in life is the journey of
self-discovery, growth, and purification. |
I have designed this work to serve concurrently as a textbook, storybook, poetry book, and workbook. This will allow YOU, the reader, to read, reflect, ponder, study, mark, write, plan, set goals, and dream... all in one place.
If there is anything in this chapter that has struck a chord within you or otherwise awakened a dormant desire to become something more than you currently are, I invite you to accompany me on this adventure of all adventures; even the voyage of life itself. Are you prepared to embrace the full nobility of your humanity? Surely, there can be no greater QUEST.
Are you ready to rise?
If so...
Then keep reading!
—Dr. JJ
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 359th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 173nd consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.
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Chapter 4 Notes
1). Roosevelt, T. (1910). Citizenship in a Republic. Speech delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, on April 23, 1910.
2). Ibid.
3). Frankl, V. (2006). Man's Search for Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press. Pages xiv, xv. Italicized words in brackets have been added for contextual clarity and emphasis.
4). Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More than IQ. New York, NY: Bantam. Page xii.
5). Ibid.
6). Ibid. Page xiii.
7). Ibid. Page xiv.
8). Peck, M.S. (1993). Further Along the Road Less Traveled: The Unending Journey Toward Spiritual Growth, The Edited Lectures. New York, NY: Simon and Schuster. Page 143.
