Wednesday, September 25, 2024

LEADERSHIP Stage

  

Chapter 18


Leadership Stage




LAYER 7:  EXOSPHERE


Earth's last atmospheric level is called the Exosphere. It begins where the indefinite thermosphere ends. 

This level is by far the deepest atmospheric layer, extending to nearly 120,000 miles (200,000 km) beyond Earth's surface, or halfway to the Moon. 

While this layer is extremely deep and large compared to the other six atmospheric layers, it's hardly a layer at all because air particles are so far apart and Earth's gravitational pull is so weak. 

The end of the Exosphere marks the beginning of outer space.  


LEVEL 7:  LEADERSHIP Stage 

Earth's gravitational pull is almost non-existent in the Exosphere. Likewise, the tugs and pulls of Existential Gravity are typically slighter and less influential here than on lower levels—so much so, in fact, that highly developed and experienced leaders may hardly notice them at all.

It's not that existential crabs don't exist on Level 7, but only extremely bold existential crabs are audacious enough to try tangling with self-action leaders at this level, and those who do tend to be quickly marginalized or mocked by those who recognize an authentic leader on Level 7.

Self-action leaders on this level have developed—through much practice over time—the ability to disregard and otherwise care very little for what an x-crab might think or say about them. Thus, verbal barbs from x-crabs are akin to "water off a duck's back." They may even chuckle to themselves lightheartedly at whatever an x-crab may try to sling their way.    

The vast majority of x-crabs are too frightened and intimidated to open their mouths in the presence of an authentic and virtuous leader at this advanced stage of Existential Growth, development, and experience. There is a metaphysical energy and power that emanates forth from leaders on this level that repels and silences x-crabs.

In the rare case that an extra bold x-crab does attempt to explicitly nip at the heels of a self-action leader on this level, he/she will have little, if any, effect or influence upon you because YOU have grown so confident and secure in yourself. Plus, you are likely to have the backing and support of the majority, thus leaving the x-crab(s) vastly outnumbered.  

In the Leadership Stage, YOUR focus shifts from being primarily about your own growth and development to being primarily about the advancement and maturation of others. In fact, most of your own future growth will be a by-product of helping others to grow.

In your own rise to the Leadership Stage, you went to great efforts to seek out coaches, leaders, mentors, and teachers. Now that you are a LEADER, you become the teacher, mentor, leader, and coach. Sympathy, empathy, compassion, and a truly altruistic desire to see others succeed are a natural outgrowth of authentically inhabiting this stage.  

Self-action leaders at this level have a deep desire and remarkable capacity to "forget themselves and go to work" (1) on behalf of other people and organizational causes bigger than themselves. You are no longer "content with blessing [yourself and your] family alone, but range ... through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race." (2) 

In the Leadership Stage, you become increasingly aware of your life's legacy. More importantly, you begin to comprehend more fully the fact that a legacy centered on self alone is no legacy at all—or at least not an honorable one. 

Many (but not all) who reach the Leadership Stage have acquired sufficient resources to support themselves and their family without further employ; and many have become financially independent. This empowers them to further dedicate their surplus time and energy to philanthropy, service, and other enriching personal, familial, community, state, national, and global pursuits.

While the Leadership Stage is largely immune from Existential Gravity, it is not completely free of negative influences and temptation. Since those on this level are almost exclusively leading others, they often find themselves in positions of great power, authority, and influence. Thus, some may fall prey to their own "cult of personality" and stoop to reveling in the hero-worship heaped upon themselves by others.

If these temptations are not shunned and transcended, a self-action leader at this stage could end up succumbing to a host of vices, including, but not limited to: debauchery, greed, indolence, insolence, narcissism, self-worship, etc. If a leader on this level begins to give way to avarice, lust, or the practice of unethical or unfair dominion over others, that leader will regress backwards to lower levels.  

Unfortunately, some leaders who enter the Leadership Stage are seduced by whatever fame, fortune, popularity, or power they have achieved. These individuals regress backward to lower levels and/or turn to the Dark Shadow—an evil inverse of the SAL Hierarchy that will be covered in a later chapter. If amends and changes are not penitently made, such leaders will leave a tainted and tarnished legacy behind them marked by disappointment, shame, and unrealized potential. 

Fortunately, some leaders remain humble, steadfast, and true no matter how high they rise or how powerful and influential they become. These relatively rare persons are both self-action leaders and leaders in the truest sense of the word. Such leaders continue to pursue Self-Transcendence by helping as many people as they can.

These noble and remarkable leaders no longer care much, if they care at all, about who gets the credit for their many achievements. They're focused almost exclusively on lifting others, providing compassionate service, and otherwise getting positive and productive results in everything they undertake.



In Your Journal

  • Do you have a desire to someday rise to the LEADERSHIP STAGE? Why or why not?
  • If you were to eventually reach this lofty level of Existential Growth, who would you want to serve and what causes would you support?
  • What suggestions would you give to someone on this level to help them avoid falling from grace and regressing back to lower levels?


Dr. JJ

Wednesday, September 25, 2024
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 410th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 219th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 409 FF Blog Articles 

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS   

Click HERE to access the FULL TEXT of Dr. JJ's Psalms of Life: A Poetry Collection

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

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Chapter 18 Notes

1.  Advice of Bryant S. Hinckley to his son, Gordon B. Hinckley, during a trying period of Gordon’s full-time missionary service.

2.  Roberts, B.H. (1978). History of the Church. Volume IV. Salt Lake City, UT: The Deseret Book Company. Page 227. Quote of Joseph Smith, Jr. (1805-1844) in a letter written to the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in October 1840. 

Wednesday, September 18, 2024

SAL Actualization Stage

 

Chapter 17


SAL Actualization Stage




LAYER 6:  THERMOSPHERE

Sitting atop the Ionosphere is the Thermosphere. This is the layer of Earth's atmosphere where satellites and space shuttles enter orbit.

The Thermosphere "contains only a minute fraction of the atmosphere's mass." (1) The Thermosphere begins at a height of 50 miles (80 kilometers) above the Earth's surface and has no definite boundaries, (2) thus making it the deepest layer of Earth's atmosphere.

Temperatures increase dramatically in the Thermosphere. This is due to the low density of air molecules. Curiously, however, you would not tangibly feel the full extent of this rise in temperature (heat) because of a lack of air molecules.

Technically speaking, the Thermosphere incorporates the Ionosphere as part of its lower levels. However, space shuttles, space stations, and satellites must transcend to Ionosphere and enter the upper levels of the Thermosphere to officially enter orbit. Thus, the Ionosphere officially ends where ORBIT begins.  



LEVEL 6:  SAL Actualization Stage 

It is appropriate that the Ionosphere is technically part of the Thermosphere. This is because the Polishing Stage and Self-Action Leader Actualization Stage similarly blend. In other words, the process of SAL Actualization begins in the Polishing Stage and the polishing process continues on into the SAL Actualization Stage—and beyond.  

Just as human-made satellites and spaceships begin to orbit the Earth in the Thermosphere, entering the SAL-Actualization Stage launches YOU into metaphysical "Orbit" as a self-action leader. 

From this point on, you'll be able to maintain the same (or greater) levels of performance as you have in the past, but by expending far less fuel (energy and resources). In this regard, life really does become easier in many ways (especially physically and emotionally) upon reaching the SAL-Actualization Stage. This is part of what makes it such an appealing stage to eventually enter. 

This is the stage of YOUR personal development and Existential Growth where you can finally say with confidence to both yourself and the world that: "I like who I am, and I wouldn't trade places with anyone else on Earth—even if I had the power to do so."

In this sense, it is very much an "Arrival" stage.

And the arrival is immensely rewarding! 

Having entered your own personal "Orbit" in the SAL Actualization Stage, the probability that you will regress back to former stages is low. This is because your character, integrity, and confidence have reached such high levels of maturity, resiliency, and strength. 

Regression is still possible at this level; it is just unlikely. And while reaching this level unquestionably represents a significant "Arrival" in your existential trek, it does not by any means signal that your journey is complete; nor will it be the end of adversity, pain, and trials.  

It does, however, signal the beginning of a whole new life, one which will be accompanied by a new set of different challenges and obstacles to surmount, many of which will prove easier to navigate than difficulties in days gone by. This may be due, in part, to a tangible move or improvement in your physical circumstances and opportunities. It may also be due to your bolstered confidence, added security, and expanded toolbox of knowledge and skills by which you can more successfully adapt to, confront, and troubleshoot life's endless challenges.  

The SAL Actualization Stage is similar to "Self-Actualization"—the highest level attainable on Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs" scale. According to Maslow, self-actualization "refers to the desire for self-fulfillment, namely ... the desire to become ... everything that one is capable of becoming." (3)

The SAL Actualization Stage is marked by a clear realization of who you really are and what your life's purpose is. Arriving at this lofty stage also represents a quasi-mastery of the full-range of SAL principles and practices. While you may still be a long way from perfection, you've nevertheless reached a high level of self-awareness, emotional and social intelligence and resiliency, personal capacity, and SAL understanding and application. Having become a self-action leader of great capacity and integrity, you've also begun to exert increasing levels of positive influence on others who seek the Existential Growth you've already achieved. 

Because everyone is unique, SAL Actualization will look different from person-to-person. This is why, as Maslow explains, "in one individual [actualization] may take the form of a desire to be an ideal mother, in another it may be expressed athletically, and in still another it may be expressed in painting pictures or in inventions." (4) But despite all the variations of SAL-Actualization, all actualized persons will demonstrate certain key attributes of CHARACTER, such as integrity, morality, and selflessness.  

The SAL Actualization Stage is likened to the Thermosphere, where satellites, space shuttles, and space stations ORBIT the Earth to obtain knowledge about outer space and transmit information to and from the Earth. 

Similarly, once YOU reach the SAL Actualization Stage and desire further Existential Growth, your focus will begin to naturally shift towards helping those at lower levels who seek their own development and growth. Having achieved a vaulted existential station yourself, you can now continue your own journey by leading others to where you are. Thus, moving forward, your own development and growth will largely come as a by-product of helping others rise in their existential journey. Moreover, the extent of your future success will hinge in large part on your success in effectively helping others in this manner. 

Persons entering the SAL Actualization Stage have developed high levels of personal integrity and moral character. They are proactive, resilient, emotionally intelligent, and possess an extraordinary capacity to respond maturely and wisely to a full spectrum of different people and situations.

Professionally, SAL Actualized persons have developed and honed skills and talents such that they are now rightly referred to as an expert, professional, or even a master

Becoming SAL Actualized means
becoming more YOURSELF
than you ever were before.
SAL Actualized persons are fully themselves in a way that highlights the gradual development of a singular and unique individuality that is attractive and pronounced without being ostentatious or overbearing. This fact flies in the face of the notion held by many—especially among the endless milieu of Existential Crabs—that upholding True Principles rooted in Universal Laws diminishes your individuality and inhibits your freedom. 

In reality, precisely the opposite phenomenon occurs. 

As C.S. Lewis one put it, "How monstrously alike all the great tyrants and conquerers have been; [yet] how gloriously different are the saints." (5). 

M. Scott Peck put it similarly, as follows:

"If one ever has the good fortune to meet a living saint, one will have then met somebody absolutely unique. Though their visions may be remarkably similar, the personhood of saints is remarkably different. This is because they have become utterly themselves. God creates each soul differently, so that when all the mud is finally cleared away, His light will shine through it in a beautiful, colorful, totally new pattern." (6)

On lower levels of Existential Growth, insecure persons often equate individualism and originality with aberrant and rebellious deviations from traditional grooming, fashions, and mores—and the stranger and more flamboyant the better. In reality, such strident personal actions have little connection to one's true and authentic character, identity, or potential—and are usually a cry for help. 

Have you ever found yourself wishing you could be someone else?

By the time you become actualized, such wishes will have vanished from your life. SAL Actualized persons sincerely like who they are and who they have become. By the time you have reached this level in your Existential Growth, you wouldn't trade your own life circumstances and opportunities for anyone else's, even if you had the power to do so. As a result, diffidence, immaturities, insecurities, jealousy, and vindictiveness have been almost entirely eliminated from your life and world.  

SAL Actualized persons no longer see the world through a mindset of danger and scarcity, but through a paradigm of abundance and opportunity. (7) Your embrace of this new mentality engenders genuine appreciation for, and satisfaction in, the growth and achievements of others. You may even find yourself gradually taking more joy in the accomplishments of others than you do in your own successes.

At lower levels of Existential Growth, it is hard to conceive that this could ever be possible. But the higher you rise and the closer you get to becoming SAL Actualized, the clearer you begin to see reality and the more you begin developing this remarkable transformation of positive feelings towards others.    

Knowing that everyone possesses the same Existential Worth, and therefore (theoretical) Existential Potential, you no longer feel the need to compare yourself to others after becoming SAL Actualized. Your own inner peace, maturity, and understanding make such comparisons irrelevant, uninteresting, and puerile. You have largely achieved what you set out in life to accomplish; therefore, the only primal goal that remains is to continue rising to higher levels of Existential Growth yourself—and help other people do the same. 

Arriving at the SAL Actualization Stage is a significant touchstone along your journey to Self-Transcendence and beyond. It qualifies as a significant personal and ontological achievement. It's the level of Existential Growth where, perhaps more than any other level, you can legitimately claim to have "ARRIVED."

It also serves as an important hinge-point of decision-making moving forward. 

That decision is this: Will you choose to live for yourself in the future, or will you dedicate the rest of your life to helping others to become similarly SAL Actualized?

If you choose to live only for yourself, you'll remain on Level 6, or, more likely, begin a regressive slide backward to lower levels. If, on the other hand, you opt to dedicate your life to helping others progress—which is what most SAL Actualized people do—you advance to Level 7, the Leadership Stage, which is where you begin to make many of your life's most meaningful, important, and lasting contributions.


SAL Actualization and Your Existential Train

At Freedom Focused, we believe that all human beings—including every person who has ever been born upon the Earth—has a definite, specific, and meaningful reason and purpose for being here. We believe that this purpose is, generally speaking, to become SAL Actualized as a self-action leader and then help others to do the same. 

Of course, SAL Actualization looks different for each of us in terms of its topical particulars. After all, we each possess a singular disposition, personality, and genetic makeup in conjunction with a unique set of aptitudes, desires, and talents. 

The process of becoming SAL Actualized is, metaphysically speaking, akin to catching and then boarding a train; and not just any train, but the singular "Existential Train" that Life itself intends for YOU—even your "Train of Destiny"—whose course is straight and narrow and whose engine is programmed to transport you to the highest levels of Existential Growth, even the pinnacle of your personal potential.

To "Catch Your Existential Train" refers to discovering your life's truest and most authentic, individual purpose. To "Stay on Board Your Existential Train" refers to pursuing that singular and unique purpose with all your heart, mind, soul, and might until the end of your life—and beyond if an afterlife exists.  

Unlike boarding a physical train, boarding your metaphysical "Train of Life" isn't easy. You can't merely show up to the train station, buy a ticket, and then hop on board at your leisure. This is because your train stops for no one—not even for YOU—its intended occupant! Hence, YOU must prepare and pay the price to "Catch" and then "Board" your train as it barrels down the tracks at a daunting and intimidating speed.

There's an old saying: when my SHIP comes in

Self-action leaders understand that their ship never comes in; YOU must swim out to your ship!

The same principle holds true for boarding your existential train. To succeed in catching and then boarding it, you must become well acquainted with how your train runs and works. You must also develop the speed, strength, agility, confidence, and daring required to latch onto it as it zooms by. In the process of doing so, it is helpful to remember that no one boards one's train on his or first attempt. 

For most of us, many attempts will be required over a period of many years, or even decades. Moreover, your initial attempts will likely end in failure, leaving you with all kinds of metaphysical bruises, lacerations, scars, and perhaps even some dislocated or broken bones. Failure to board your train will hurt, sometimes badly. In fact, the only thing that could possibly hurt more in the end is the loss and regret you will feel from having willingly forfeited an earned passageway on such a lofty locomotive.  

To succeed at "Catching" and "Boarding" your Existential Train, YOU must repeatedly "pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again" (8) each time that you fall short.

Doing so is not easy!

It is a wonderfully exhilarating, yet terribly challenging endeavor fraught with seemingly endless frustration and failure. There may even be times when you choose to turn your back on your train and stop trying to board it altogether for a while. Sometimes this occurs because you have been injured attempting to board and must take time out to heal and regroup. Other times, feelings of bitterness and disillusionment may camouflage the enormous benefits and rewards available on your train. 

In the midst of such poignant disappointments, you may even try to deny that your train exists. Some, and perhaps many, will deceive themselves into thinking that moseying along through the countryside in an ox-drawn wagon or on a dutiful donkey is preferable to the unspeakable thrill of zipping along the continent on an ultra modern, super speedy, bullet train. 

But for those hardy and determined souls willing to endure the trials of boarding their train, the ride is truly "out of this world."  

Once you have caught and boarded your existential train, you have earned a comfortable residence whereby you can live and work as you continually go forth to coach, mentor, serve, teach, and otherwise help others on their own journey toward SAL Actualization.

In many ways, helping others become SAL Actualized will be far easier and more enjoyable than your own crucible-laden and painful process of SAL Actualization. After all, it is usually easier to talk about something than it is to actually do it; but you won't have much credibility speaking about something that you haven't already experienced and overcome. Thus, the BEST TEACHERS are usually those noble souls who have already "walked the talk" and otherwise proved themselves "in the trenches" and "heat of battle."  

Catching and then boarding your own existential train—becoming SAL Actualized—is a tremendously significant event in your life. Moreover, as long as you choose to stay on the train, all tracks eventually lead to the highest levels of Existential Growth.  


A Paradigm Shift from Competition to Love

There is typically a big difference between what motivates YOU on lower levels (1-6) and what motivates YOU on higher levels (7-9). 

On the first six levels, self-action leaders tend to be driven by a desire to compete with and ultimately outdo others in a continual quest to "get ahead" and/or "win." This kind of motivation is referred to as a "Competition Paradigm" and to a certain extent is very useful in helping you to prove yourself to yourself and others. 

A Competition Paradigm is defined as: a desire to obtain Existential Growth in order to surpass others.


COMPETITION PARADIGM

A desire to obtain Existential Growth to surpass others. 


Every self-action leader is unique. Thus, some will be more (or less) motivated by the Competition Paradigm than others. Nevertheless, most self-action leaders are primarily motivated by the Competition Paradigm on Levels 1-6. 

By the time you graduate to Level 7, however, a fundamental transformation of your mind, heart, and soul has begun to take place. This transformation leads you to become increasingly motivated by a genuine care, concern, and love for other self-action leaders and human beings in general. 

Having already proved yourself and risen above many others (in an Existential Growth sense, or in terms of a specific skillset), your desires will increasingly shift toward helping others along their pathways of Existential Growth. Instead of being primarily motivated by the Competition Paradigm, you will find yourself increasingly motivated by the Love Paradigm, which is defined as: a desire to help others obtain Existential Growth.  


LOVE PARADIGM

A desire to help others obtain Existential Growth.


The development of this pure, sincere, and unsullied LOVE for others is inevitably a gradual developmental process that occurs by degrees over a long period of time. Most self-action leaders will begin experiencing sparks and vestiges of this authentic love in earlier stages of Existential Growth (Levels 1-6), but will not fully flower until much later on during the time they spend on levels 6-9.

The individual growth curve of a self-action leader's Love Paradigm will, of course, differ widely from person-to-person as one develops up the hierarchy. Personality, environment, circumstances, education, access to loving coaches, mentors, and teachers, and other variables will all play a role in the singular developmental trajectory of each individual. 

Nevertheless, by Stage 7, it will, like concrete in a mold, likely be sufficiently set up to begin a positive and lasting "curing process." If properly cultivated and persistently pursued, it will continue to cure (harden/strengthen/toughen) throughout one's continued development up through the three highest levels of Existential Growth, leading theoretically to a PERFECT LOVE for others at some distant point in one's existence.  

Depending on how powerfully one was motivated by the Competition Paradigm in earlier stages (1-6) of Existential Growth, the pouring, setting up, and curing process of love may occur more slowly or quickly; it all depends on the individual self-action leader and his or her unique SAL Variables Quotient. 

For those who experience a more gradual development and growth of love for others, there may be a protracted period of time where one wonders how one could ever be as motivated by love as one is by competition. Moreover, for those who reach Level 7 and then begin to atrophy and regress backward in one's Existential Growth, the Competition Paradigm may return to smother one's potential capacity for love. 

But those who continue to grow past the Leadership Stage into the Self-Transcendence and Creation Stages will discover that love is in fact an infinitely greater motivator than competition ever was—even in its most captivating and motivating stages on lower levels of Existential Growth. They will also discover that the fulfillment, joy, satisfaction, and inner peace that accompanies an authentic and pure Love Paradigm infinitely exceeds the lesser perks that accompanied the Competition Paradigm. 

At the highest levels of Existential Growth, competition no longer exists in a traditional sense. It has become completely swallowed up by LOVE for all people, living creatures, and other worthwhile things.  




In Your Journal

  • Where do you believe you currently stand in relation to being SAL Actualized?
  • What do you think would be required of you to eventually become SAL Actualized?
  • Describe your ideal Existential Train
  • What do you believe will be required of you to successfully catch and board your Existential Train?
  • How much are you presently motivated by the Competition Paradigm?
  • How much are you presently motivated by the Love Paradigm?
  • How might you decrease the Competition Paradigm and increase the Love Paradigm in your life?


Dr. JJ

Wednesday, September 18, 2024
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 409th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 218th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 408 FF Blog Articles 

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS   

Click HERE to access the FULL TEXT of Dr. JJ's Psalms of Life: A Poetry Collection

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

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Chapter 17 Notes

1.  Lutgens, F. K., and Tarbuck, E. J. (2010). The Atmosphere: An Introduction to Meteorology (Eleventh Edition). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall. Page 28.

2.  Tarbueck, E J., and Lutgens, F. K. (2009). Earch Science (Twelfth Edition). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall. Page 454.

3.  Maslow, A. H. (1943). A Theory of Human Motivation. Psychological Review. Volume 50, Issue 4, p. 370-396. Page 382.

4.  Ibid. Page 383.

5.  Lewis, C.S. (2001). Mere Christianity. San Francisco, CA: HarperCollins. Page 226.

6.  Peck, M.S. (1983). People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil. New York, NY: Touchstone. Page 264.

7.  Covey, S.R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. New York, NY: Fireside. Pages 219-220.

8.  From the Nat King Cole Song, Pick Yourself Up. Lyrics by Dorothy Fields and Jerome Kern. Copyright by Reservoir Media Management, Inc. and Universal Music Publishing Group. 

Wednesday, September 11, 2024

POLISHING Stage


Chapter 16


POLISHING Stage




LAYER 5:  IONOSPHERE


Level 5—the Ionosphere—begins where the Mesosphere ends. It forms the lower section of the Thermosphere, which will be discussed in greater detail in the next chapter (level 6).

Northern Lights in Iceland
This level is called the "Ionosphere" because of the process of ionization that occurs therein. An "ION" is "an atom or molecule with a net electric charge due to the loss or gain of one or more electrons." (1)

To "ionize" means to "convert (an atom, molecule, or substance) into an ion or ions, typically by removing one or more electrons." (2) Ionization of nitrogen and oxygen occurs when they come into contact with photons from the sun, thus enabling the creation and transfer of electricity and the facilitation or passage of radio waves. 

The Ionosphere rises to a height of about 250 miles (400 kilometers), making it about 200 miles (320 kilometers) thick. Weather is virtually nonexistent in the Ionosphere. In the place of weather, new phenomena occur, such as the appearance of the colorful and picturesque aurora borealis (northern lights) and aurora australis (southern lights), which become increasingly visible as you approach Earth's northern and southern poles.



LEVEL 5:  Polishing Stage 


After all the heartache and struggle of the Refining Stage, the Polishing Stage represents another metaphysical "Arrival" of sorts. This destination is most welcomed and may be marked by explicit and tangible successes that start off gradually and then accelerate in quality and quantity over time. 

While your initial entrance into the Polishing Stage might signal a "break" or a "rest" compared to the fiery heat, pressure, and stress of the Refining Stage, it is not meant to serve as a mere plateau in your progression. It is not, therefore, a cue to embrace rest exclusively; nor should it be used as an excuse for idleness. Rather, it provides YOU with with golden opportunities to exercise your growing agency, capacity, and potential that have been so beautifully developed and refined in previous stages.

As Elbert Hubbard once put it: The reward which life holds out for work is not idleness nor rest, nor immunity from work, but increased capacity, GREATER DIFFICULTIES, MORE WORK. (3)   


"The reward which life holds out for work is not idleness nor rest, nor immunity from work,
but increased capacity, GREATER DIFFICULTIES, MORE WORK."  

Elbert Hubbard


The Polishing Stage corresponds to the Ionosphere, where the dazzling aurora borealis and aurora australis (Northern and Southern Lights) occur. For those who make it past the agonies of the Refining Stage, the metaphysical views in the Polishing Stage are similarly refreshing, rewarding, and spectacular—and sorely welcome. (4)

By the time you arrive at the Polishing Stage, you begin to discover by degrees the extent to which your seemingly endless efforts and sacrifices were, in fact, worth it all along. The deeper you progress and the higher you rise into the Polishing Stage and beyond, the more you realize it was worth it many times over.

While I sincerely shudder to even think about doing it all over again—thank God I don't have to!—I can also say without reservation that I have no regrets about successfully enduring my own Refining Stage and that it has been entirely worth it... and then some.

The Refining Stage changes you in important and fundamental ways. As a result, life looks very different from the "far side" of the Refining Stage than it did from the "near side." In the acutely astute assessment of Oliver Wendell Holmes: I wouldn't give a fig for the simplicity on this side of complexity; [but] I would give my right arm for the simplicity on the far side of complexity."  


"I wouldn't give a fig for the simplicity on the near side of complexity.
But I would give my right arm for the simplicity on the far side of complexity."  

Oliver Wendell Holmes


It has been my ongoing observation that in some respects, life doesn't even fully begin until after you've successfully passed through the Refining Stage. Thus, the precious and even priceless vantage point accessible only on the "far side" of adversity and complexity is worth everything it costs to achieve it. It also highlights how unfortunate it is when someone decides to give up before one's refining is complete.  

By the time you arrive at the Polishing Stage, your character and integrity will have developed great strength through commitment and resilience over time. Having significantly matured as a self-action leader, you can now take joy in doing more of what you truly want to do most in an environment where your chosen actions will increasingly serve and benefit others while simultaneously bringing glory and honor to yourself.

This does not mean, however, that your journey is over; nor does it signal an end to your growth and progression as a self-action leader. Far from it, in fact! Moving forward, however, you will be "polishing" your skills as opposed to "refining" them.

There is a big difference! 

For example, buffing or polishing a sword is a much less invasive process than forging it in the first place. Once your character has been forged in the Refining Stage, you will be given opportunities to make it shine in the Polishing Stage whereby you can take your knowledge, skills, and talents to the next level through continual practice and fine-tuning. 

You will still face difficulties, irritations, and obstacles in the Polishing Stage; but they are typically less intense, shorter lived, and more easily transcended than they are in the previous stages, including the Refining Stage.    

Another blessing and boon of the Polishing Stage is the measure of financial security (not to be confused with financial independence) that typically accompanies your entrance into Level 5. Thus, you no longer have to rely on others for your basic survival as well as for moderate creature comforts and freedom.

This financial security blanket will include an emergency fund to cover all your expenses for 6-12 months. You will also have begun in earnest to build a financial "nest egg" for retirement. Lastly, you will have obtained the necessary education and skills to be able to successfully absorb and rebound from a job layoff or other temporary financial setback.  

At this point in your existential development, you've purged toxic relationships from your life and you're secure enough to laugh off and rise above any lingering existential crabs that may still try to nip at your heels. A fresh and confident sense of being "at home" in your own skin engenders a deep sense of personal satisfaction, fulfillment, and happiness.

While the "explicit," "obvious," and "noisy" variety of crabs will have mostly disappeared from your life at this point in time, there may remain a number of "phantom" crabs that will continue to challenge your confidence and security in this stage. "Phantom crabs" refer to those who at one time may have been champions and cheerleaders of YOU and your cause; but have now fallen silent as they observe (perhaps jealously) how much you have achieved and how far you have progressed from lower levels where they once knew you so well.

The danger of these kind of crabs is not so much what they say to you, but more a matter of what they don't say to you. The lack of explicit feedback may cause your brain to play tricks on you by formulating fears about what these phantom crabs might be thinking about you. While there's likely little or no proof that they are thinking about you at all; your imagination can produce a variety of mental and emotional demons by conjuring up phantom crab-like pressures that may or may not in actuality exist. There is no question that much of our suffering as self-action leaders is self-imposed and based in fear rather than reality.

As Mark Twain once said: "I have suffered a great many calamities in my life; most of them never happened." And as President Franklin Roosevelt famously suggested in the depths of the Great Depression when FEAR abounded throughout the United States and World: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."


Franklin D. Roosevelt
1882-1845

"I have suffered a great many calamities in my life.
Most of them never happened."  

Mark Twain


 "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."  

Franklin Roosevelt



YOU will need to diligently PRACTICE working through and ultimately transcending the negativity of these self-constructed "phantom crabs." In my own experience, these kind of crabs can be even more difficult to transcend than the more obvious, noisy, and immature ones you faced on lower levels. But like any challenge or struggle, if you face up to it and focus on overcoming it, you will make steady progress toward healthier planes and freer pinnacles over time.   

As you work to increase your knowledge and polish your skills, your life's purpose gains clarity and increasingly comes into a sharpened focus. You better comprehend who you really are, why you are here in this world, where you are headed in your life, and what contributions you are best suited to make for the benefit of others.

You are preparing yourself to enter the next level—the SAL Actualization Stage.

A fascinating component and phenomenon of the Polishing Stage is the accelerating and intensifying presence and influence of Serendipity. This metaphysical power remedies a host of loose ends that may remain marginally frayed from your time in the Refining Stage. Serendipity, the passage of time, and the words and actions of others all contribute to this natural process that both heals old wounds and tightens up loose ends.  

In reality, Serendipity is usually the most present in the Refining Stage even though it may, ironically, seem to be the most absent. You might say that this "irony" becomes "ionized" or "ironed out" in the Polishing Stage, thus allowing you to see, hear, and feel the fuller weight of Serendipity.

As this serendipitous rehabilitation process progresses, you may find that you feel and act "younger" and have more energy and passion for life, despite the fact that you are, in actuality, older than you were when you passed through the Refining Stage. Such a reinvigoration of your physical energy and vitality may feel and seem miraculous—a truly Serendipitous gift—which is why many self-action leaders will humbly acknowledge the countless graces that accompanied their treacherous journey through the Refining Stage onward to the much more peaceful palace of the Polishing Stage. 




In Your Journal

  • Is there an area (or areas) of your life you believe has already been successfully refined? If so, what step (steps) might you take to begin polishing that area? 
  • In what specific ways do you think Serendipity plays a role in the Polishing Stage and process?  


Dr. JJ

Wednesday, September 11, 2024
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 408th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 217th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

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Chapter 16 Notes

1.  New Oxford American Dictionary. Electronic Version (Mac OS).

2.  Ibid.

3.  Hubbard, E. in Hubbard, A., Editor. (1946). An American Bible. New York, NY: Wm. H. Wise and Co., Inc. Page 8.

4.  A clever phrase coined by a fellow named Val Killian, of Pleasant Grove, UT. Val was a member and leader of our local church congregation in St. John’s, Newfoundland, Canada.  

Wednesday, September 4, 2024

REFINING Stage


Chapter 15


REFINING Stage




LAYER 4:  MESOSPHERE

The Mesosphere extends beyond the upper limits of the Stratosphere to about 50 miles (80 kilometers) above the surface of the Earth. Temperatures drop dramatically as you rise higher into the Mesosphere, making it the coldest place in all of Earth's atmosphere.

This layer is too high for airplanes, hot air balloons, and other Earth-bound flying contraptions, but too low for orbiting satellites. It is, therefore, a difficult level for meteorologists and scientists to explore and study. 


LEVEL 4:  Refining Stage 

Refining oil is a complex process that involves
complicated machinery and engineering. 
Like the Mesosphere, the Refining Stage is complicated, difficult to navigate, and mysterious. It is, in short, one of the most challenging and painful stages of all.

Your initial entrance into the Refining Stage may occur against a backdrop of some significant personal or professional achievement, success, or milestone. 

For example, you may have finally graduated from college or trade school, received a graduate degree, earned a significant promotion at work, or just started a new business or entrepreneurial venture. 

This "Victory" in the Practitioner's Stage was probably marked outwardly by a measure of pomp and circumstance, excitement, celebration, personal satisfaction, and possibly even public praise and adulation. 

Graduation is exciting and should be celebrated!
But remember that it is more of a beginning than it is an ending. 
Don't be fooled by these moments of temporary triumph. Instead, follow the advice of Rudyard Kipling and train yourself to treat the twin "imposters" of "Triumph and Disaster" the same. (1)  

Kipling's advice is sage, but not easily accomplished; it takes practice! But all self-action leaders must eventually learn this vital skill that comes with existential development and maturation.

Part of the difficulty of the Refining Stage stems from the stark contrast presented by this "High" point of victory, which is then followed up by a significant loss, or worse: a series of ponderous and soul-wrenching trials that follow one after the other for an extended period of time.

The celebration and praise that attends graduating from the Practitioner's Stage into the Refining Stage is usually a positive and satisfying experience. However, it does not mean that your trials are over; far from it, in fact.

In reality, it is more akin to the "Calm before the Storm" phenomenon observed in weather patterns, including thunderstorms, tornados, and in the case of a hurricane—the passage of the hurricane's eye in the middle of the tempest. Your temporary "Win" is merely a positive prelude to the fiery blasts of heat and pressure that accompany unanticipated adversities awaiting you in the Refining Stage.  

Many people naively enter this stage of their existential journey with high hopes that their troubles are now behind them—only to discover that their greatest challenges still lie ahead!

This realization may initially lead to profound disappointment, disillusionment, and a measure of discouragement—all of which is common, justified, and understandable.

Such adversity should not, however, be used as an excuse to give up—although many will decide to do just that.

But not self-action leaders!

While this is unquestionably a time of rude awakenings, set-backs, failure, rejection, and being ignored, it should never lead to capitulation or surrender.  

A literal refiner's fire is hot enough to boil steel. Such intense heat is required to both purify and strengthen iron ore and other precious metals as they are melted, shaped, pounded, and then polished into finished products that are attractive, useful, and resilient. Such heat (adversity) is absolutely necessary to eliminate impurities and weaknesses that exist in precast ore.

Likewise, the agonizing, but crucial metaphysical refining process necessitates a certain amount of discomfort and pain. Thus, in many cases, authentic Existential Growth simply cannot occur without suffering.   

The intense metaphysical heat found in the Refiner's Stage has the potential to produce the same effect on YOU as a self-action leader as the intense physical head found in an actual refiner's fire—although it can only accomplish these designs with your willing consent.

Herein lies a great irony: Life is going to provide you with refining opportunities whether you like it or not and whether you want them or not. But whether it changes you in developmental and positive ways is entirely dependent upon how you choose to respond to the adversity.

In other words, it is up to YOU—and you alone—to decide whether you will allow these trials (and the concomitant pain) to make you BETTER, or bitter. Either way, you are going to face the refining process and the agony that accompanies it. As such, it does make a lot of logical sense to choose to move forward in faith and grow from it rather than stand still and curse it.   

If you are going to suffer no matter what, why not do everything in your power to make the suffering meaningful and productive; to make "an inner decision" to turn it into "an inner triumph." (2)

Fyodor Dostoevsky once coined a phrase to describe such mature and noble responses to human suffering. His words may be postured as a question as follows: "Are you worthy of your sufferings?" (3)   

Some examples of trials you may encounter in the Refining Stage include:

  • Job layoff
  • Breakup or divorce
  • Bankruptcy
  • Loss of car, home, or other significant material or financial setback
  • Severe personal or professional disappointment, failure, or rejection
  • Serious physical illness or injury
  • Onset of (or relapse into) addiction, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), nervous breakdown, or other mental, emotional, or social illness or malaise.
  • Crisis of self-confidence and inner security
  • Battling through an ethical, moral, spiritual, existential, familial, or other crisis.
  • Death or serious (extended) illness of a loved one
  • Feeling trapped in the "Existential Vacuum." (4)

What is the "Existential Vacuum" you ask?

According to Viktor Frankl, "the existential vacuum manifests itself mainly in a state of boredom." (5) In employing the term, Boredom, Frankl is not referring to an isolated incidence of casual ennui. Rather, he is describing a soul-deep, existential paralysis that is truly life-numbing.


EXISTENTIAL VACUUM

A soul-deep, life-numbing existential ennui and paralysis akin to depression.  


I have spent my fair share of time in OCD-influenced existential vacuums over the course of my late teen, young adult, and early adult years. These episodes were accompanied by a related strain of depression wherein I felt a neurotic fear and dread of life itself. At such times, I found living to be an odious prospect and a gloomy chore. Existential panic attacks marked by darkness and dread partnered with these miserable states of being.  

It was awful!

Just as the mesosphere is the most difficult atmospheric level to explore, the Refining Stage often provides you with your life's most difficult challenges. As trying as your challenges may have seemed in the Beginner's Stage, the obstacles and suffering of the Refining Stage may prove even more excruciating. 

Unlike adversity in the Beginner's Stage, which can be solved on lower levels of existential development, the trials of the Refining Stage occur after you have already experienced significant growth and progress. Thus, by the time you experience them, you're already relatively mature, experienced, and capable. As such, you have likely developed a level of personal esteem and self-confidence that may have led you to feel indestructible or untouchable.

Consequently, passing through the Refining Stage can be a profoundly humbling experience.

The goal of the invisible hand of the Refiner is to eradicate within you any lingering false sense of omniscience, omnipotence, or invincibility you may have previously felt. This is an important step in your Existential Growth because self-action leaders who rise above the Refining Stage are keenly and humbly aware of their limitations, shortcomings, and weaknesses—no matter how successful they may have been in the past. The wisdom derived from this 20/20 metaphysical self-vision is one of the things that makes self-action leaders unusually capable and powerful after the refining process is complete. 

Your own passage through the Refining Stage will provide YOU with an unmistakable opportunity to more fully comprehend the fatal folly of human hubris.  

This stage was by far the hardest I've ever experienced, and it will likely be the hardest you'll ever experience as well. For some, refining moments may be more prominent in one life area than another. 

My own personal refining stage came in the key life arenas of my mental health, career, and romantic relationships. This trio of deep and penetrating trials absolutely rocked my world and shook it to its core. The harrowing experiences that accompanied these challenges racked my entire being (mind, heart, and spirit) with indescribably intense metaphysical heat, pressure, and pain. 

It was agonizing!

But the result was wonderful as many personal impurities (e.g. arrogance, ignorance, myopia, naivete, and selfishness) were gradually expunged from my mind, heart, and soul.

And that is precisely the goal of the Refiner!  

My journey was so arduous, excruciating, long-lasting, and at times soul-crushing that I would not wish it on my worst enemy. On the other hand, and paradoxically, I kind of wish that everyone could have the opportunity to experience what I did because the rewards that have come post-refining have been entirely worth it. After all, there is only ONE way to extract pure gold from impure ore, and that is to refine it with scorching heat and pressure filled blasts of fierce and forceful power.    

There is no other way.

A caterpillar must pass through an excruciating and
extended process of extricating itself from its cocoon
before it can stretch its wings and show off its full colors.
Refining is an ugly, but oh so necessary process in any kind of authentic growth. Whether you are a butterfly struggling to break out of its cocoon, a diffident, homely, and pimple-faced teenager gradually blooming into an attractive, capable, and confident adult, a shiny sword being forged in a blacksmith's shop, or a potential-laden personal leader being transformed into an authentic and kinetic self-action leader, things are rarely attractive when the refining process begins or when you are in the middle of it. But, when the procedure is complete, the final result can truly be an "out-of-this-world" transformation! 

This extraordinary journey of metamorphosis is as agonizing as it is exciting and extraordinary. While the caterpillar must struggle mightily to break free from the shackles of its cocoon, the brilliant and beautiful butterfly that emerges is truly magnificent to behold!

Theoretically speaking, any person would gladly accept and welcome refining because of the richness of the rewards on the far side of its poignant procedures. After all, it's the only way to realize your full potential and advance to higher levels of Existential Growth. Practically speaking, however, the "heat" and "pressure" of the Refining Stage can prove so intense and scalding that many give up before the process is through... or grow bitter and curse the trials rather than allow them to do their terrible, yet terrific, work.  

If YOU truly desire further Existential Growth, then you have no choice but to face up to its full fury and wrath and then push through to the other side with dogged determination. Simply stated, there is no other way to break down and melt away the dross and impurities that inhibit your long-term growth and progress. 

This "melting" occurs as we begin to let go of arrogance, ego, self-deception, and bad habits that have previously polluted our potential. As flawed human beings, we too often maintain our grip on such things because it's what we've known in the past, are mired in bad habits, and/or are too easily seduced and discouraged by the scoffs and scorns of the crabs. 

Doing so halts our progression in the same way that a dam stops the flow of a river. 

We human beings are strange that way. Too often we are loathe to give up the very things that are certain to endanger or even destroy us in the end.

The goal of the Refiner is to coax you to "loosen your grip" on those things that harm you and hinder your Existential Growth until you eventually "let go" of whatever is harming yourself and/or others. But like Paraguayan Monkeys, human beings in general too often refuse to "let go" of the "Coconut Treasure"—whatever bad habit, vice, or other weakness—that is causing their downfall. As a result, we neither obtain the treasure, nor free ourselves from the grip of the coconut. (6)  

It's a sad, self-imposed catch-22! 

All self-action leaders who eventually attain the highest levels of Existential Growth must successfully pass through the Refining Stage and come out the other side humble, teachable, empowered, and motivated to, in-turn, teach, lead, and influence others.  

All human beings face significant challenges and trials in their lives. Thus, all of us have the opportunity to be refined on some level. Sadly, some people refuse to be refined no matter how severe their adversity, how long their trials last, or how clearly their self-deceptions are exposed. Such individuals will go to great lengths to justify why their way is the right way even—and perhaps especially—when it is in fact the wrong way. And the more ardent and energetic they are in their quest, the more convinced they become that wrong is right and vice versa. 

Over time, the cleverest of these persons devolve into delusional demi-gods determined to poison the minds and hearts of anyone willing to listen to the pseudo truths of their cherished erroneous ideologies. 

The result?

They voluntarily give up their opportunities for further Existential Growth and progress. In the process, they replace their own glass ceilings with self-constructed ceilings of steel-reinforced concrete. Said barriers are much more difficult to penetrate than glass, but are only impregnable to those who choose to hold onto their own way and either remain in the clutches of the Refining Stage or regress to lower levels of Existential Growth. It is a sad state of being, where you end up festering in the miserable confines of your own self-constructed prison cell.

If you had a relatively easy experience transcending the Beginner's and Practitioner's Stage, the adversity of the Refining Stage may prove even more unpleasant because you have not yet faced any serious trials in your life. For example, if you met with a lot of initial success and very little failure in the first three stages, you may be less prepared for the "heat" and "pressure" of the Refining Stage than others who may have already experienced similarly "Refining" moments in previous stages.

Bottom Line: everyone travels a unique pathway through life. None of us experience the exact same things at the exact same time as anyone else. 

The Refining Stage brings the heat and power required to incinerate whatever issues are inhibiting a further rise in your Existential Growth. It also has the sharpness necessary to sever any lingering ties you may have with existential crabs. As you mature as a human being and self-action leader, the co-dependency of your past gradually grows into the independence of your present and then eventually into the interdependence of your future. (7)

The Refining Stage will prove your mettle by uncovering your inadequacies and insecurities and transforming them into strength and confidence. Along the way, it will test you to your very core. It will provide you with a golden opportunity to "partake of life's bitter cups ... [but] without becoming bitter." (8)

To transcend the Refining Stage, you must demonstrate high levels of constitutional, spiritual, physical, mental, emotional, social, moral, and financial acuity, resilience, and self-reliance.

The Refining Stage provides you with an opportunity to prove to yourself and others that you are capable of facing extreme adversity and, with the aid of Serendipity, conquer it to emerge confident, courageous, morally oriented, and ready to pursue even greater growth. 

The Refining Stage is an existential sieve.

It separates the humble and strong from the prideful and weak.

It is a poignant and potent reminder that life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you and you alone to decide.


 "Life is a grindstone, and whether it grinds you down or polishes you up is for you
and you alone to decide."  

Cavett Robert


Not much is known about the mesosphere because it is too high for hot air balloons or airplanes, yet too low for orbiting satellites or space stations. This makes it the most mysterious of Earth's many atmospheric levels, and the most difficult for scientists to explore. 

Similarly, the Refining Stage produces a series of mystifying trials and challenges that will be uniquely tailored to YOU and you alone. These challenges will be incredibly difficult to understand and solve, and you will inevitably need the help of Serendipity and other people to safely navigate them.

While help from others will be essential in the Refining Stage, you must also come to recognize and accept the reality that no one else can take the journey for you; nor can anyone eradicate the pain and suffering inherent to this stage. In this sense, it is a very lonely journey—one that you must ultimately take alone, albeit with the ever-present aid of Serendipity, which is an unspeakable comfort upon which you should always seek to rely. (9) 

The poet, Ella Wheeler Wilcox, wrote a poem that eloquently articulates the loneliness of this unusually somber and trying stage of your Existential Growth and development.  


Solitude

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
1850-1919
Laugh, and the world laughs with you;
   Weep, and you weep alone,
For the sad old earth must borrow its mirth,
   But has trouble enough of its own.
Sing, and the hills will answer;
   Sigh, it is lost on the air,
The echoes bound to a joyful sound,
   But shrink from voicing care.

Rejoice, and men will seek you;
   Grieve, and they turn and go.
They want full measure of all your pleasure,
   But they do not need your woe.
Be glad, and your friends are many;
   Be sad, and you lose them all,—
There are none to decline your nectar'd wine,
   But alone you must drink life's gall.

Feast, and your halls are crowded
   Fast, and the world goes by.
Succeed and give, and it helps you live,
   But no man can help you die.
There is room in the halls of pleasure
   For a large and lordly train,
But one by one we must all file on
   Through the narrow aisles of pain. (10)


In addition to being hauntingly beautiful poetry, these three stanzas are haunting—period!

Such is the nature of the Refining Stage!  

While passing through the adversarial depths of the Refining Stage, you may question whether it is worth it to keep striving. This vacillation of purpose occurs not only because the Refining Stage is so difficult and painful, but because it often lasts for extended periods of time. I have personally spent more than half of my life in this stage, and it was terrible! At times, the pain of the refining process in my life proved horrifically excruciating and seemed like it would never end.  

The GOOD NEWS is that eventually it did end, and I was able to graduate and move on to the next level in my Existential Growth—the Polishing Stage—which still has its challenges, to be sure, but in the aggregate, is not nearly as bad as the Refining Stage.  

Fortunately, not everyone will experience the Refining Stage as intensely as I did. For many (and perhaps most) people, your Refining Stage may not be as difficult and long-lasting as mine was. But no matter who you are, YOU will face a Refining Stage if you live long enough. 

The timing of the Refining Stage will vary for different people. Some will experience powerful refining experiences early on in their life. Others may experience the bulk of their refining in middle age. Still others may reach their golden years before their mind, heart, and soul's purest gold is refined.  

I was cursed—or blessed, depending on how you look at it—to experience deep, harrowing, penetrating, and powerful refining experiences during my teenage, adolescent, and young adult years. In my case, chronic mental, emotional,  and social illnesses conspired with added career crucibles to dominate my life for over 30 years (1992-2023). It was a brutal, ongoing menagerie of malaises that relentlessly refined me. 

(see BOOK the SIXTH, Chapters 3-5 for detailed narratives of these refining life experiences of mine). 

The bad news is that this refining process was ponderously and profoundly challenging. 

The good news is that it has absolutely made me who I am today.  

No matter who you are, YOU will pass through refining obstacles and trials in your life. The question is not if, but whenwhat, and how long?

That is the bad news. 

The good news is that no matter what comes your way, if you are willing to focus intently, work hard, remain determined, and patiently endure the crucibles that come your way in the Refining Stage, you will come out on the other side strengthened, refined, ready, and motivated for the next level—the Polishing Stage.  

While my own Refining Stage will always carry echoes and reverberations of heartache, stress, and suffering, my progression—and all the physical and metaphysical accoutrements, blessings, and gifts that have accompanied it—is entirely worth it. While I would never desire or seek to pass through such excruciating times again, I also wouldn't trade anything in the universe for what I have become by enduring this refining process and passing through these trials. 

It is soooooooo WORTH IT!

I therefore urge YOU with all the energy of my heart, mind, and soul to cultivate the conviction that, come what may amidst the crucibles of the Refining Stage, you will consciously choose to never give up and eventually come out on top—a glorious place where your heart, mind, and soul will swell with thanksgiving because of what you have become.  




In Your Journal

  • What life experiences have you had in the past that felt like the Refining Stage? 
  • What experiences are you presently passing through that feel like the Refining Stage?
  • What refining experiences do you believe may still be in your future?
  • What principles and tools did you learn from this chapter that will help you through future Refining Stages?  



Dr. JJ

Wednesday, September 4, 2024
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA


Author's Note: This is the 407th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 216th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 406 FF Blog Articles 

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS   

Click HERE to access the FULL TEXT of Dr. JJ's Psalms of Life: A Poetry Collection

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles


Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

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Chapter 15 Notes

1.  In his famous poem, If, the British Poet, Rudyard Kipling, instructs his audience to treat the twin “imposters” of “triumph and disaster” “just the same,” thus insinuating that human beings would be wise to avoid allowing themselves to feel “too high” or “too low” about their performance based on the social barometer’s current reading and commentary.

2.  Frank, V. (2006). Man's Search for Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press. Page 66 and 72.

3.  Ibid. Page 66-67. Frankl quotes Dostevsky as follows: 

"Fundamentally, therefore, any man can, even under [terrible] circumstances, decide what shall become of him—mentally and spiritually. He may retain his human dignity even in a concentration camp. Dostoevski said once: 'There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.' These words frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost. It can be said of them that they were worthy of their sufferings; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom—which cannot be taken away—that makes life meaningful and purposeful." (pages 66-67) 

4.  Ibid. Page 106 (see pages 106-108).

5.  Ibid. Page 106.

6.  Kenyon, R. (2017). Paraguay Monkey Trap: This is a story about letting go and generosity. MediumHuman Stories and Ideas. 2 December 2017. URL: https://medium.com/the-positopian/paraguay-monkey-trap-b6ea47781ca4

7.  Covey, S.R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. New York, NY: Fireside.

8.  Maxwell, N. M. (2004). Remember how merciful the Lord hath beenURL: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2004/04/remember-how-merciful-the-lord-hath-been?lang=eng

9.  Self-action leaders inhabiting the highest levels of Existential Growth often retrospectively recognize that the most significant contributions of Serendipity and others were made in the midst of the Refining Stage, even though, ironically, it seemed at the time as though such help was the most absent.

10.  Wilcox, E.W. (1889). Poems of Passion. Chicago, IL: Belford, Clarke and Co. Publishers. Page 131-132. Google Books version.

Expanding YOUR INFLUENCE through SAL

  Chapter 26 Expanding YOUR INFLUENCE through SAL   Plutarch A.D. 46-119 "What you achieve inwardly changes your outer reality ." ...