This being the case, why on Earth would I accept an invitation to become a Cub Scout Den Leader if I don't have to? It's not like someone is forcing me to take on that added responsibility and duty in my life.
We live in a world where duty and love too often take a back-seat to pleasure-seeking, instant gratification, and lust. The problem with these troubling trends is that disaster lurks in the shadows whenever and wherever the devils of our nature overtake the angels thereof.
You don't have to be religious (or even spiritual) to accede this highly practical and common-sense notion. It's just a mathematical reality, especially as judged over time.
Perhaps the single-most important lesson that self-action leaders ever learn is that the purpose of life is not primarily to do what you
to do. The primary purpose of life is to do what you
benefit of yourself and others—whether you feel like it in the moment, or not.
In articulating this fundamental SAL principle, I echo the inspired words of Thomas Huxley, who once wrote:
Simply stated, self-action leaders are selfless, responsible, and disciplined people. And not merely because being selfless, responsible, and disciplined are RIGHT things to do. Self-action leaders also practice these virtues because they understand that doing so is the best way of guaranteeing what they want most—which is positive, productive, and personally satisfying results in the LONG-RUN.
Don't get the wrong idea... self-action leaders are keenly aware of what they personally
most. In fact, I would argue that self-action leaders know better what they authentically want (in the
) than most other people—and they indefatigably pursue their deepest and most authentic
until they eventually obtain them.
But they do so in a very particular way—a way that sets them on apart from most others.
This way involves traversing the less traveled pathways of success, which, unlike the well-beaten pathways of mediocrity and failure, lead ultimately to the greatest achievements, pleasures, prosperity, joys, riches, and peace that life has to offer in the
long-run.
In the LONG-RUN I say! (1)
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| Ahhhh! What was I thinking? |
Those who pursue the well-traveled pathways of pleasure-seeking, instant gratification, and lust, usually obtain at least a measure of what they seek in the
short-run. But in the long run, they come to discover that whatever short-term payments they may have accrued
in-the-moment are not only cankeringly temporary, but they also travel with much unwanted baggage in the form of negative consequences and painful regrets.
Even more tragically, said persons often end up like the bedeviled soul in the Screwtape Letters (Letter XII), who, at the end of his life tragically laments the cruel irony of his own ill-advised decisions, leading him to transparently confess: "I now see that I spent most of my life doing neither what I ought nor what I liked." (1a)
In other words, for his primal pursuit of pleasure, our hedonistic and otherwise unwise human was rewarded not only an eternal estate among the morally degenerate, but he ironically managed to accrue a mere modicum of pleasure along his journey through this world as well.
If such a deal sounds like a "Catch 22," that's because it is!
How can we as self-action leaders avoid this pathetically sullen, yet surprisingly common (and deeply regrettable) state of being in our own lives?
 |
We all have duties in our lives and careers. What are yours? And are you faithful at attending to them in a conscientious and timely manner? |
We may do so by carefully balancing the prioritization of our personal
wants with the existential
duties incumbent upon all who grace this Planet in human form.
Stated more simply, we prioritize our existential duties over our personal desires. In other words, we develop the capacity to consistently do
what is RIGHT even—and perhaps
especially—when doing so is inconvenient or uncomfortable.
To illustrate what this process looks like in real life, consider the following example from my own life...
Since I was just a teenager, I have had a deep-seated desire to travel the world teaching true principles of human thought, speech, and action. I am absolutely obsessed with such things and my greatest and most healthy outlet is to either write and speak or teach on related subjects. Attending this goal is an accompanying desire to be a successful author, leader, organizer, builder, and influential agent of change on a macro scale.
To accomplish these important, life-long desires of mine, I have invested tens of thousands of hours of thought, reading, study, formal education, and practice over the course of more than 30 years. Suffice it to say, I have, for a very long period of time, paid a very high price to become the kind of person who is capable of realizing these deep, penetrating, and authentic desires of my heart.
 |
| 2015 Version of SAL Textbook |
In the fall of 2015, I self-published a compilation of my life's work to date in a life leadership textbook that was nearly 700 pages long. It was the fifth (5th) iteration/edition of
this present work. That means I had been working diligently since 2003 on the message contained in this comprehensive textbook.
After traveling the English-speaking world as a contract speaker and trainer for the better part of a decade, publishing several books and hundreds of articles in newspapers and other periodicals, earning an accredited doctoral degree, and investing a DOZEN years in creating the structure and substance of the
SAL Theory & Model, it
seemed to me that surely the time had come when I could finally begin to enter a place where I might begin traveling the world to teach and train others in the principles and practices to which I had so diligently dedicated my own life.
But it was not to be.
In fact, as it turned out, I was not even close!
Despite all my efforts and sacrifices over the years, and regardless of the punctiliousness, persistence, and perspiration involved in my painstaking preparation, I was not about to enter the full-flowering of my career as a speaker, writer, and leader back in 2015.
I was about to become a full-time stay-at-home Dad!
 |
To date, academe wants nothing to do with Self-Action Leadership.
In the meantime, the world burns as the "Powers-that-Be" continue to
turn a blind eye to the only REAL solution to the madness.
Fortunately, Freedom Focused is a patient organization.
We will simply wait and continue preparing until we are called upon. |
And guess how I got things kicked off?
By getting rejected by 70 different colleges and universities for 100 different academic teaching/researching positions all over the world, thus guaranteeing that I would remain a stay-at-home dad for the foreseeable future.
Instead of becoming a bestselling author or entering the college classroom, I began changing diapers and babysitting a one-year old and a three-year old on a full-time basis.
I'm not going to lie... that first year of full-time "Daddying" just about killed me, both emotionally and physically—not because it was so incredibly difficult (although it definitely was!) but because it was so fundamentally different from my previous life as a traveling contract trainer. The contrast I experienced moving from the world of being a traveling career professional to becoming a full-time stay-at-home parent was a profound shock to my entire system.
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| My three- and one-year old in 2016. |
I did not, of course, literally die from this experience. Because I refused to quit, things got easier over time, which is what
always happens if you refuse to give up in the face of difficulty or adversity.
Part of this easing process involved rounding the learning curve. Gaining knowledge and experience did not change the difficulty-at-hand, but it did change ME, which in-turn made my difficulties less challenging.
Thus it is that: "Nothing is really hard or easy; there is only your ability (or lack thereof) to do."
"Nothing is really hard or easy. There is only your ability (or lack thereof) to do."
— Dr. JJ
 |
Sketch of Thoreau's homebuilt cabin
near Walden Pond in Massachusetts. |
And as the American philosopher, Henry David Thoreau once aptly put it:
Things don't change; We change.""Things don't change. We change."
— Thoreau
Another aspect of this gradual easing involved the natural change and growth processes occurring within my kids as I loved, cared for, nurtured, taught, and mentored them. Thus, after a couple of years, my one- and three-year-old became a three- and five-year-old, which provided a significantly different (and easier) parenting dynamic for me.
Then, in 2018, my wife and I decided to invite child number three into the world, thus begging the question: Am I a glutton for punishment or as committed to LOVE and DUTY as I claim to be?
I'll let YOU answer that question for yourself.
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| With my three kids, aged 6, 4, and <1 in 2019. |
I must confess, despite nearly SIX (6) years of practice now, I have never become fully accustomed to my role as a full-time stay-at-home parent—nor do I think I ever will for that matter.
Despite all the plusses and perks—and there are a number of them (e.g. naps, deepened relationships with kids, trips to fun places and other wonderful memories, autonomy over my schedule, etc.)—I still find myself uncomfortable in my present role. Indeed, every single day brings difficulties and the whole deal remains well outside my comfort zone.
Growing up, I never saw myself tending kids full-time. In fact, I rarely even envisioned myself as a parent—period. In the back of my mind, I always knew that I most likely would be a parent eventually, but I rarely thought about what the full job description would actually entail—particularly with me slotting unexpectedly into the starring role.
As a child, adolescent, and young adult, I thought continually about marriage, getting married, and my future wife. But it was a different matter when it came to kids. So you can imagine how surprising and challenging these unexpected life duties have been for me.
But they are my LIFE DUTIES, and in conjunction with my faith and wife, constitute the most important things in my life, so do I really have any choice but to faithfully attend to these duties if I want to be a person of integrity and desire long-term happiness for my family and myself?
The answer to this question is self-evident and therefore rhetorical. And while clearly comprehending this fact does not eradicate the difficulty of my daily duties, it does help me find joy in the process and much hope for the relational riches to come as blessed by that existential compound interest, which (good or bad), comes to all of us in the future based on the choices we make in the past and present. Thus it is that in the end, we really do reap more-or-less precisely what we sow.
"As ye sow, so shall ye reap."
— The Law of the Harvest
(As explicated in The Good Book)
Why is it that life seems so determined to give us opportunities to do the very things we would naturally avoid? For example, I don't particularly like (much less relate to) teenagers. I didn't understand teenagers when I was a teenager myself. And as an adult, I don't feel much closer to the little brutes (bless their hearts)!
Despite this fact, I've spent five years in classrooms of various kinds as a substitute and/or full-time teacher on the middle and high school levels. I've also been an early-morning seminary (religious) instructor of teenagers not once, but twice, in two different states!
I remember the second time I was called to serve as an early-morning religious instructor; this time in the Great State of Texas. The call came during the late summer of 2016, which also happened to be my first (and most) difficult year as a full-time stay-at-home parent. And that was just one of many other challenges my family and I faced that year.
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| Ever felt like life itself was singling you out and laughing at YOU? |
The early morning class I was invited to teach began at 6:00 a.m. and consisted entirely of tenth graders. Of all the things in this world that DO NOT come naturally to me, 6:00 a.m. and tenth graders are near the tippy-top of my list!
I recall the bitterness and frustration that filled my mind, heart, and soul for the first couple of weeks after I received that calling. It seemed as though life was playing a practical joke on me and fiendishly laughing in the process.
Indeed, it felt as if life itself was pointing a finger of scorn at me and saying aloud: "Ha, ha, Jordan... you wanted to travel the world and teach millions about SAL after the sun was high in the sky; how about you stay put in Texas and teach religion to a dozen teenagers before the sun comes up instead?"
There's your reward for all that effort and hard work! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"
 |
My Great Aunt Dorothy was a "Mover
and a Shaker" in part because she
knew how to say: "No" |
It's true that I could have said "No" to this invitation.
An important lesson I learned from my
Great Aunt Dorothy was that, and I quote:
"You can always say 'No.'"
And there are times when I do say "No."
In fact, after spending an entire year teaching seminary and feeling like an exhausted zombie each day as I sought to care for my two kids under the age of four, my wise wife convinced me it was time to ask for a release.
She didn't have to ask twice!
I immediately asked for, and was gratefully granted, an honorable release by those who had called me to serve.
To those who are scratching their heads and asking: "JJ: why in the world did you accept the calling in the first place?"
Good question!
The ANSWER is: because I learned long ago that it is selfish, short-sighted, and unwise to turn down an opportunity to give and serve when you have the time, means, and capacity to do so. Turning down opportunities to teach or serve other people cheats others out of many blessings. It also cheats YOU out of a goldmine of personal growth and other riches in the form of unique life experiences and meaningful interpersonal relationships.
On the other hand, it is not necessary for a self-action leader to run faster or work harder than he or she is able. Thus, there are times when a declination is the best response—something I am not afraid to invoke when necessary.
While certainly not my favorite thing to do, my experience teaching early morning seminary predictably turned into a positive experience for both the students and me. The students learned and grew in their knowledge and faith; and I grew, progressed, and gained additional practice in pedagogy and religion in conjunction with obedience and humility—two vital SAL virtues. But the fact remains that it was a difficult calling for me, and I was greatly relieved when I was eventually released—just as I will be greatly relieved when I am eventually released as a Cub Scout Den Leader!
Let that new challenge begin!
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A section of Auschwitz-Birkenau prison in Poland
where Viktor Frankl suffered, reflected,
and achieved extraordinary Existential Growth. |
Viktor Frankl, that famous psychotherapist who survived the horrors of Nazi brutality in Auschwitz, once wrote:
"What [is] really needed [is] a fundamental change in our attitude[s] toward life. We [all need] to learn ... that it [doesn't] really matter what we expect... from life, but rather what life expect[s]... from us. We need... to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as ... being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist ... of right action and ... right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
These tasks, and therefore the meaning of life, differ from [person to person] and from moment to moment. ... Life does not mean something vague, but something very real and concrete, just as life's tasks are also very real and concrete. They form [our] destiny, which is different and unique for each individual. No [person] and no destiny can be compared with any other [person] or any other destiny. No situation repeats itself, and each situation calls for a different response. ... Every situation is distinguished by its uniqueness, and there is always only one right answer to the problem posed by the situation at hand." (2)
Throughout my life, LIFE itself has asked me to do a whole host of different things that I felt disinclined to do. In many cases, the prospect of tackling certain tasks and undertakings that, while clearly MY DUTY to perform, nevertheless engendered no small amount of fear and even dread. In those instances, I had a choice to make. Would I humbly and obediently submit myself to life's urgent, important, and compelling requests, or would I shrink away by pridefully and selfishly refusing said opportunities?
While I am far from perfect in practicing what I preach in regards to fully meeting the demands of both DUTY and LOVE in my life and career, I can say with a clear conscience that in the main, I have consistently and proactively chosen
the
Road Less Traveled in both my life and career.
And as Frost so perfectly and poetically put it: "That has made all the difference." (3). And the blessings and favors that have followed this pathway have been unspeakably lavish.
And it is only the beginning.
In the short run, doing one's duty is often difficult and unpleasant. That is an absolutely omnipresent fact of life. But in the long-run, the rewards of doing so are so exorbitantly rich and plentiful that it is hard to believe that anyone in their right mind would ever choose any other pathway, no matter how adverse or challenging.
For example, could there be anything more valuable than the depth and strength of my earned relationships with my wife and children because I have spent so much time serving and loving them since retiring as a contract trainer nearly SIX (6) years ago?
Or what about the positive and productive contribution I made to the lives of the hundreds of students I have influenced over the years? For most people, the answer to these questions are self-evident and therefore rhetorical. And so it is for me as well.
Thus, I have no regrets.
Nevertheless, a lingering question still begs, as follows: Will my hoped-for and envisioned "day-in-the-sun" eventually arrive as a writer and speaker?
Perhaps?
Probably?
Fairly likely?
Almost certainly?
Without any doubt or question?
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| I might be envied by a King... Cuz I'm a Family Man |
If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on the last possibility; but that's just because I am, and always will be, a hope-filled optimist in my long-term outlook on everything in my life and career.
Nevertheless, even if it doesn't turn out quite that way, I am—and am well positioned to remain—a very rich man.
Why am I rich?
Because I have deep, intimate, and richly satisfying family relationships. And I have the added luxury of being able to lay my head down upon my pillow each night with a clear conscience before God, man, and myself knowing that I have consistently striven to the best of my imperfect ability to faithfully attend to my DUTY while seeking sincerely to LOVE my fellowmen.
No personal or professional opportunity, accomplishment, remuneration, or reward can even begin to rival that
kind of residual income-infused GOLDMINE.
Whatever my future might bring, I am grateful that I recognize the profound truth that in the end, whatever I may personally want out of my life and career is far less important that what life itself wants out of me on a daily, even hourly basis throughout my life. Thus, in the end, my success will not be measured in books sold, dollars earned, employees hired, or miles traveled. It will be measured in the extent to which I did my duty and strove to do the RIGHT things every day of my life.
And that is what Self-Action Leadership is all about!
 |
Immanuel Kant
1724-1804
German Philosopher
|
I believe that accomplishing
that is also what Immanuel Kant intended when he introduced his famous concept—the
Categorical Imperative—into the lexicon of Western philosophy.
In Kant's view, the most valuable and worthy human attribute is not talent, ability, wealth, power, luck, or good looks. The ultimate good for Kant is constituted in what he called a "Good Will" whereby an individual autonomously choose to align one's thoughts, speech, and behaviors with Universal Laws of Right Conduct even—and especially—when we DON'T feel like it. For those who align their conduct with Kantian categorical imperatives, "Joy is [truly] duty and Love is [truly] Law." (4)
In my personal and professional experiences, conscientiously and consistently attending to my DUTY, LOVING my fellowmen, and otherwise doing the RIGHT thing to the best of my imperfect ability—however difficult and time-consuming—is the best way to live in the long run.
Nay; that is too weak. Let's put it a little more strongly: it is the only way to live in the long run. This is because doing so is the only way to obtain the best possible results over time—for oneself and others.
As human beings, we all know "that every[one] is free, to choose his life and what he'll be" (5). This liberty extends to making a wide array of choices that are wrong, foolish, selfish, short-sighted, etc. And in the short-term, said choices may bring about moments of enjoyment or escape. But if we are interested in lasting joy and peace of mind, there is only one pathway that leads thereto. And that pathway is The Road Less Traveled, which is marked by duty, responsibility, and right thinking, speaking, and doing.
THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.
In what ways are you currently being selfish or foolish in your own personal or professional thoughts, speech, or conduct? In what ways are your actions aimed at short-term fun, pleasure, or escape at the expense of long-term achievement, joy, and peace of mind?
What is the current strength of your own Kantian Good Will? Are you in the habit of doing what is right even—and especially—when you don't feel like it, or when doing so is difficult or unpopular? Or are you apt to just give into selfish inclinations or momentary whims—you know, in taking the "easy way out"?
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| Doing difficult things brings about a cornucopia of rewards. |
Over time, we all eventually discover through our own experiences that "the easy way" out is, in reality, the hardest pathway to tread in the long-run.
Likewise, the more difficult pathway up front typically leads us to an easier (and certainly more desirable) state of feeling and being in the long-run. In the words of Jerzy Gregorek: "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."
"Easy choices, hard life.
Hard choices, easy life."
— Jerzey Gregorek
I invite you to take some time TODAY to ponder on the unique Purpose of YOUR OWN Life within a framework of the general purpose of all of our lives (Duty & Love). In so doing, I encourage you to be honest with yourself about your current habits of thought, speech, and action. Are these habits helping or hurting you and those you profess to care the most about?
Lastly, what is ONE thing you could begin doing TODAY to start re-charting a better, wiser, and more selfless course for your family, career, and life that will bring about the richest possible rewards in the END?
There's a little buffet of thought for you.
Now get "eating"!
-Dr. JJ
October 13, 2021
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 234th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013.
Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 233 FF Blog Articles.
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Notes:
1. Frankl, V. (2006). Man's Search for Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press. Page xv.
1a. Lewis, C.S. The Screwtape Letters. New York, NY: Bantam. Page 36
2. Ibid. Page 76.
3. Frost, R. The Road Not Taken (poem).
4. Whittier, J.G. Maud Muller (poem).
5. Miller, R.L. Know This, That Every Soul is Free (hymn).
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