SONNETS of Love & Romance

Chapter 10

SONNETS of Love & Romance

Since I was just a little boy, I have had great respect and admiration for the Immortal Bard. As previously shared, my father gifted me the Complete Works of William Shakespeare for Christmas in 1989, when I was only 10 years old! Around that same time, I read the entire play: The Merchant of Venice. I didn't understand a word of it, but was determined to finish what I had started.

I was blessed to have been born to a family who both understood and venerated the talent, greatness, and wisdom of that remarkable Briton's prolific pen. In addition to his 37 plays, Shakespeare also composed 154 sonnets. His sonnets were all crafted using the same style of rhyme and rhythm: 14 lines in iambic pentameter (10 beats or syllables per line) using the rhyming pattern of ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GG. It is from a sense of pure, sheer, and deep veneration of the GOAT of English Literature and poetry that I chose to craft my own sonnets in this same format, as follows...

Sonnet 1   (Pure Unsullied Sweetness)

The pure unsullied sweetness in her face,
Unveils far more than just mere pulchritude.
Her every movement filled with perfect grace,
Hides inner beauty most have never viewed!
The eye alone so poorly judges light,
And oft ensnares mere senses in its grasp,
Rewarding far too much on simple sight,
Ignoring all that's held in a soul's clasp!
But when her inward majesty's revealed,
To one who recognizes Godly grace,
'Tis like a vision of a pure gold field,
Enriching outer beauty in her face!
   Alas, my most rewarding quest shall be:
   To find her grace and share eternity!

Sonnet 2   (The Best Kind of Me)

If I am to win the true heart of she,
And find victory upon the white shore—
Oh, then I must be the best kind of me:
Giving my all to a principled core.
There's no other way to woo and to win
The heart and soul of so mighty a dame.
Mere thoughts of her cause my young head to spin,
To marry such grace is better than fame.
There's no other way to equal the bill,
Than giving my all to the name of pure good,
Deomonstrating that I have a good will,
Doing my best to do all that I should.
   There's no better prize than her presence see,
   And nothing brings greater joy unto me!

Sonnet 3   (My Lovely Queen)

My lovely Queen to whom I give my heart,

Upon this day of promise I declare:

That I shall ever strive to do my part,

And vigilantly keep myself aware

Of your needs: I forthwith am your servant,

And equal partner in solemnity.

Witnessing that I shall 'ere be fervent

In the execution of my duty.

For as I kneel and make this vow to thee,

My promise is to more than just thee love,

Besides a witness to society,

This union marks an oath with God above:

   That I will dedicate unto the end,

   To honor, serve, and love my dearest friend!

Sonnet 4   (Long Distance Romance)

Of all the women I have ever met,

My (name here) tops the list for this lad's heart,

And on this day of romance I shall let,

My love for her begin to make its start!

Although it's true that we're a world apart,

And find myself away from her sweet soul,

I feel as though my heart beats with her heart,

To come nearer to her is now my goal!

And how I wish my presence soon will join,

With her great spirit now so far from me,

That somehow I might manage to purloin,

A tender kiss from her excellency!

   What bliss awaits for lovers true like we,

   It's like a taste of immortality!

Sonnet 5   (Romance in Old Age)

Though past by far her fair and tender prime,
And former silken locks have grown a-hoary;
While aged skin proves sovereignty of time,
And eyes blind, bereft the weight of glory
In store for this fair woman soon to be
Higher than the angels, yea—a Goddess—
Blessed again with matchless youthful beauty,
Putting mortal looks to shame. I'd confess
In this sphere has such beauty ne'er been viewed,
Even amidst the fairest in the land;
Yet grows by spades within women imbued,
With heaven's own goodness, so pure, so grand!
   That upon time's termination doth prove:
   That true love's beauty, and true beauty's love.

Sonnet 6   (Brightly Smiling Hope)

If hope still brightly smiles upon my chance,
And if her heart still lives within my grasp,
If somewhere in the future of romance,
We twain shall meet at last in spirit's clasp.
If light still boldly burneth at the end,
And she and I could yet be one in soul,
If she could condescend to be my friend,
In time, mid patience, we'd both find our goal.
If what appeared to be was a facade,
And burnished hopes triumphant voice did speak,
Proclaiming loud and clear the voice of God,
That anything can be unto the meek.
   My radiant heart would all but burst with glee,
   I'd with my Queen throughout eternity!

Sonnet 7   (Nothing Sweeter)

There is nothing sweeter than my Lady,

Whose blessed soul caresses me with love.

Her greatness and beauty is uncanny,

A selfless Angel sent from God above,

She emanates celestial majesty

To every child of God whom she doth see.

For me her countenance spawns ecstasy,

Burgeoning my heart residually,

Sustaining life and passion in my breast,

Inspiring me to always be my best,

And patiently await for what's in store.

   Alas, there's nothing purer than my wife!

   The sweetest single being in my life!  

Sonnet 8   (One and Only)

To the one and only woman of my dreams:

This day I pledge my heart to you!

No matter how drawn out the battle seems,

I will not faint nor falter; I'll be true!

Entirely dedicated thus to serve

You as my precious Queen you will remain,

Joined in a sacred union you deserve,

That'll ne'er be dissolved; I speak this plain:

That You, the tender sweetheart of my youth,

Whose name's inscribed in my heart next to God,

Shall sit upon a throne with me in truth,

Where I will heap glory, honor, and laud!

   Eternally upon your priceless soul,

   Whose light and life forever I'll extol!

Sonnet 9   (Richly Refined Elegance)

There is no finer woman on the Earth for me,

Whose richly refined elegance and beauty

Bespeak unto me the worth of her angelic soul.

My eyes they dance, and my heart doth melt

When in her presence. And what of my ears?

The sound of her voice supplies me with

Heavenly evidence of her majesty,

For which I rejoice! But deeper still is something

Much greater. To find and marry one such as her

Is the supremest of blessings to me.

How grateful I feel to be her sir—

The man she chose to love so tenderly.

   My love for her is like the burning sun,

   Excepting that our love will ne'er be done!

Sonnet 10   (When the Day Arrives)

When the day arrives and I see her face,

A face that doesn't turn away from me—

In spite of beauty, intellect, and grace—

I'll pause and softly question: can it be?

For after all the failure and the smart,

I'm hoping now for days of pure sweet bliss,

Beyond those days of old that broke my heart,

Where I can sit and savor her sweet kiss!

The joy I feel in making it this far,

Leads me to believe that I can finish

The journey that is leading to my start,

Where eternal joy will ne'er diminish.

   Perhaps the pain once felt too much for me,

   Yet enduring that pain has set me free!

—Dr. JJ

July 19, 2023

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 336th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 156th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 334 FF Blog Articles 

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS   

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Current Events, Cultural, Philosophical, & Miscellaneous Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

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Click HERE to learn more about Freedom Focused

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Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

Remember to Give...

A Time for GIVING...

At this jolly and joyful time of year, which for so many of us is filled to overflowing with family, friends, festivities and fun, we at Freedom Focused invite you to consider and then choose at least ONE way in which you will GIVE to OTHERS who are less fortunate than you and your own crew this holiday season.

Because we are all in different places and stages in our lives and careers, each individual's GIVING will look a little bit different. Those who have been blessed with much will have more to give than those who have blessed with less. Moreover, some will naturally feel more creative and ambitious in their giving efforts than others, and that is okay too. The important thing for self-action leaders to understand is that it is not so much how you give, nor is it even how much you give that matters most. The important thing is that you simply find a way to give... that fits appropriately and reasonably within the unique framework of your own individual personality and circumstances. 

To illustrate this point, consider my own decisions to give this holiday season. As devout members of our faith, my wife and I already donate 10-percent of our annual income—and a monthly donation to assist those in need—to our church. That's just a previously determined given that will continue unabated for the rest of our lives. However, we have also been very blessed this year. As such, it seemed right to take advantage of some additional opportunities to give and serve as well. As a stay-at-home Dad to three kids who is working to build a business on the side, I don't have the time, energy, or desire to plan or initiate any grand giving scheme of my own. However, I do have the time, energy, desire, and resources to contribute to a food, blood, and toy drive in my community that other inspired leaders have organized.

I feel so grateful to those who head up these noble initiatives. Without their exemplary leadership and proactive planning and execution of these various service projects, others in the community (including me) would not have such convenient opportunities to contribute. Because THEY are leading out, self-action leaders like me have the opportunity to lead ourselves to follow their lead and make a positive difference in the process. 

My son Tyler and our cart full of
toys for two local toy drives.

Pictured at right is my son, Tyler, and our cart of toys we purchased this morning for a couple of toy drives in our local community that I learned about through my kids' elementary school and a doctor's office I visit. I do not publicize our giving efforts to impress you, but rather to impress upon YOU the importance of finding a way (or ways) of giving of your time and/or means to those in need this Holiday Season. 

Simply stated, SELF-ACTION LEADERS are GIVERS.

They look for, seek out, and then take advantage of opportunities to lift, encourage, and serve others. They are quick to compliment and commend—and slow to criticize and condemn. They strive to be a voice of positivity and possibility in a world of persistent pessimism and pain. 

In the process, self-action leaders do not compare their giving efforts to others. They recognize that certain seasons of life bring about greater opportunities to give than others, and that some seasons may even require them to be on the receiving end of others' generosity. And that is okay! I know this is true because I've been there myself on a number of occasions, and I'll forever be grateful to those who showed compassion, generosity, and love to me in my times of need.

The joy of receiving is eclipsed only by the joy of giving.

Self-action leaders understand further that even when they cannot give anything at all and find themselves on the receiving end of the equation that they can still recite in their hearts those reassuring words of scripture: "I give not because I have not; but if I had, I would give." Or better yet, "I give not because I have not; but when I have, I will give!" That was always my attitude during my own personal periods of penury, and in my more recent years of abundance, my wife and I have striven to make good on those sincere, erstwhile intentions.  

For self-action leaders, GIVING is a JOY; but it is also a DUTY that one takes very seriously. In the process of fulfilling this duty to give, they experience the natural by-product of joy that so spontaneously follows on the heels of any and all acts of sincere generosity extended in good-faith and wisdom.

For those who have been blessed with a little bit of extra energy, time, money, or other resources this Christmas season, Dr. JJ and Freedom Focused encourage you to give a little bit of time, service, money, food, or other gifts to those in need.

For those of you who have been blessed with a LOT of extra energy, time, money, or other resources this Christmas season, we invite you to give a little bit (or perhaps a lot) more time, service, money, food, or other gifts to those in need.

The joy and rewards of GIVING often far surpass the gift itself.

And moving forward forever into the future, we invite you to gradually cultivate within yourself a spontaneous attitude of giving and serving. We promise that those who follow this course in their lives and careers will discover not only the spontaneous joy of giving, but will come to learn further that in the long-run, they will end up more blessed than ever themselves. That is the beauty of the law of reciprocity and the law of the harvest working together synergistically in your favor. 

In short, the more you give, the more you get. I know this is true because I have been blessed beyond my capacity to receive for whatever efforts I have made to love, serve, and give throughout my life. And since there is nothing inherently special about me, you can engage this same phenomenon in your own life and career—as much or as little as you desire—and it will eventually work just as well for YOU!  

So... how are YOU going to lift, love, serve, or give this Holiday Season? We invite you to ponder this question, make a plan, and then TAKE ACTION and bask in the joy of thus engaging.  

Happy Holidays Everyone!  

-Dr. JJ

December 12, 2022
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 296th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013 and the 125th consecutive weekly blog published since August 31, 2020.   

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 295 FF Blog Articles.  

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL QUOTES

Click HERE for a complete listing of Freedom Focused SAL POEMS   

Click HERE for a complete listing of Self-Action Leadership Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Fitness, Heath, & Wellness Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Biographical & Historical Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Current Events, Cultural, Philosophical, & Miscellaneous Articles

Click HERE for a complete listing of Dr. JJ's Autobiographical Articles

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.  

Click HERE to learn more about Freedom Focused

Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Jordan Jensen

Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

  

The Purpose of Life

Dr. JJ is a newly minted Cub Scout Den Leader

I recently became a Cub Scout Den Leader. 

I have never wanted to become a Cub Scout Den Leader. In fact, on my lifelong bucket list—which is LONG indeed—being a Cub Scout Den Leader ranks right down near the bottom next to scrubbing mildew in the shower, stubbing my toe, and banging my head against a concrete wall. 

This being the case, why on Earth would I accept an invitation to become a Cub Scout Den Leader if I don't have to? It's not like someone is forcing me to take on that added responsibility and duty in my life.   

Good Question!  

The rejoinder to this interrogatory is the subject of this week's blog post—and the answer is this...

Because I love my kids and it is the RIGHT thing for me to do at this particular time in my life—whether I feel like it or not.

In other words, the answer is: DUTY and LOVE—two words that self-action leaders uphold as a generalized, yet ultimate response to the piercing and perennial existential query: What is the purpose of life? Distilled down to its purest essence, Duty and Love do indeed serve as the most succinct statements articulating the Purpose of our Lives. 

We live in a world where duty and love too often take a back-seat to pleasure-seeking, instant gratification, and lust. The problem with these troubling trends is that disaster lurks in the shadows whenever and wherever the devils of our nature overtake the angels thereof.

You don't have to be religious (or even spiritual) to accede this highly practical and common-sense notion. It's just a mathematical reality, especially as judged over time.  

The ultimate goal of education should be to develop
good habits and learn to take personal responsibility.

Perhaps the single-most important lesson that self-action leaders ever learn is that the purpose of life is not primarily to do what you want to do. The primary purpose of life is to do what you ought to do when it needs doing for the long-term benefit of yourself and others—whether you feel like it in the moment, or not.

In articulating this fundamental SAL principle, I echo the inspired words of Thomas Huxley, who once wrote:

"The most valuable result of all education is to make you do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not. It is the first lesson that ought to be learned. And however early a man [or woman's] training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he [or she] learns thoroughly." 

— Thomas Huxley

Simply stated, self-action leaders are selfless, responsible, and disciplined people. And not merely because being selfless, responsible, and disciplined are RIGHT things to do. Self-action leaders also practice these virtues because they understand that doing so is the best way of guaranteeing what they want most—which is positive, productive, and personally satisfying results in the LONG-RUN.

In the LONG-RUN I say! (1)  

Self-Action Leaders consistently make decisions by looking way down
the road to determine LONG-TERM consequences of those decisions.  

Don't get the wrong idea... self-action leaders are keenly aware of what they personally want most. In fact, I would argue that self-action leaders know better what they authentically want (in the long-run) than most other people—and they indefatigably pursue their deepest and most authentic wants until they eventually obtain them.

I know I do!

But they do so in a very particular way—a way that sets them on apart from most others. This way involves traversing the less traveled pathways of success, which, unlike the well-beaten pathways of mediocrity and failure, lead ultimately to the greatest achievements, pleasures, prosperity, joys, riches, and peace that life has to offer in the long-run.

In the LONG-RUN I say! (1)

Ahhhh!  What was I thinking?

Those who pursue the well-traveled pathways of pleasure-seeking, instant gratification, and lust, usually obtain at least a measure of what they seek in the short-run. But in the long run, they come to discover that whatever short-term payments they may have accrued in-the-moment are not only cankeringly temporary, but they also travel with much unwanted baggage in the form of negative consequences and painful regrets.

Even more tragically, said persons often end up like the bedeviled soul in the Screwtape Letters (Letter XII), who, at the end of his life tragically laments the cruel irony of his own ill-advised decisions, leading him to transparently confess: "I now see that I spent most of my life doing neither what I ought nor what I liked." (1a)

In other words, for his primal pursuit of pleasure, our hedonistic and otherwise unwise human was rewarded not only an eternal estate among the morally degenerate, but he ironically managed to accrue a mere modicum of pleasure along his journey through this world as well.

If such a deal sounds like a "Catch 22," that's because it is!  

How can we as self-action leaders avoid this pathetically sullen, yet surprisingly common (and deeply regrettable) state of being in our own lives? 

We all have duties in our lives and careers.

What are yours?  And are you faithful at attending

to them in a conscientious and timely manner?

We may do so by carefully balancing the prioritization of our personal wants with the existential duties incumbent upon all who grace this Planet in human form.

Stated more simply, we prioritize our existential duties over our personal desires. In other words, we develop the capacity to consistently do what is RIGHT even—and perhaps especially—when doing so is inconvenient or uncomfortable.    

To illustrate what this process looks like in real life, consider the following example from my own life...

Since I was just a teenager, I have had a deep-seated desire to travel the world teaching true principles of human thought, speech, and action. I am absolutely obsessed with such things and my greatest and most healthy outlet is to either write and speak or teach on related subjects. Attending this goal is an accompanying desire to be a successful author, leader, organizer, builder, and influential agent of change on a macro scale. 

To accomplish these important, life-long desires of mine, I have invested tens of thousands of hours of thought, reading, study, formal education, and practice over the course of more than 30 years. Suffice it to say, I have, for a very long period of time, paid a very high price to become the kind of person who is capable of realizing these deep, penetrating, and authentic desires of my heart. 

2015 Version of SAL Textbook

In the fall of 2015, I self-published a compilation of my life's work to date in a life leadership textbook that was nearly 700 pages long. It was the fifth (5th) iteration/edition of this present work. That means I had been working diligently since 2003 on the message contained in this comprehensive textbook.

After traveling the English-speaking world as a contract speaker and trainer for the better part of a decade, publishing several books and hundreds of articles in newspapers and other periodicals, earning an accredited doctoral degree, and investing a DOZEN years in creating the structure and substance of the SAL Theory & Model, it seemed to me that surely the time had come when I could finally begin to enter a place where I might begin traveling the world to teach and train others in the principles and practices to which I had so diligently dedicated my own life.

But it was not to be. 

          In fact, as it turned out, I was not even close!

Despite all my efforts and sacrifices over the years, and regardless of the punctiliousness, persistence, and perspiration involved in my painstaking preparation, I was not about to enter the full-flowering of my career as a speaker, writer, and leader back in 2015. 

I was about to become a full-time stay-at-home Dad!

To date, academe wants nothing to do with Self-Action Leadership.
In the meantime, the world burns as the "Powers-that-Be" continue to
turn a blind eye to the only REAL solution to the madness.
Fortunately, Freedom Focused is a patient organization.
We will simply wait and continue preparing until we are called upon.

And guess how I got things kicked off?

By getting rejected by 70 different colleges and universities for 100 different academic teaching/researching positions all over the world, thus guaranteeing that I would remain a stay-at-home dad for the foreseeable future.

Instead of becoming a bestselling author or entering the college classroom, I began changing diapers and babysitting a one-year old and a three-year old on a full-time basis. 

I'm not going to lie... that first year of full-time "Daddying" just about killed me, both emotionally and physically—not because it was so incredibly difficult (although it definitely was!) but because it was so fundamentally different from my previous life as a traveling contract trainer. The contrast I experienced moving from the world of being a traveling career professional to becoming a full-time stay-at-home parent was a profound shock to my entire system.        

My three- and one-year old in 2016.

I did not, of course, literally die from this experience. Because I refused to quit, things got easier over time, which is what always happens if you refuse to give up in the face of difficulty or adversity.   

Part of this easing process involved rounding the learning curve. Gaining knowledge and experience did not change the difficulty-at-hand, but it did change ME, which in-turn made my difficulties less challenging.

Thus it is that: "Nothing is really hard or easy; there is only your ability (or lack thereof) to do."

"Nothing is really hard or easy.  There is only your ability (or lack thereof) to do." 

— Dr. JJ      

Sketch of Thoreau's homebuilt cabin
near Walden Pond in Massachusetts.

And as the American philosopher, Henry David Thoreau once aptly put it: Things don't change; We change."

"Things don't change.  We change."

— Thoreau   

Another aspect of this gradual easing involved the natural change and growth processes occurring within my kids as I loved, cared for, nurtured, taught, and mentored them. Thus, after a couple of years, my one- and three-year-old became a three- and five-year-old, which provided a significantly different (and easier) parenting dynamic for me.

Then, in 2018, my wife and I decided to invite child number three into the world, thus begging the question: Am I a glutton for punishment or as committed to LOVE and DUTY as I claim to be?

I'll let YOU answer that question for yourself.

With my three kids, aged 6, 4, and <1 in 2019.

I must confess, despite nearly SIX (6) years of practice now, I have never become fully accustomed to my role as a full-time stay-at-home parent—nor do I think I ever will for that matter.

Despite all the plusses and perks—and there are a number of them (e.g. naps, deepened relationships with kids, trips to fun places and other wonderful memories, autonomy over my schedule, etc.)—I still find myself uncomfortable in my present role. Indeed, every single day brings difficulties and the whole deal remains well outside my comfort zone.  

Growing up, I never saw myself tending kids full-time. In fact, I rarely even envisioned myself as a parent—period. In the back of my mind, I always knew that I most likely would be a parent eventually, but I rarely thought about what the full job description would actually entail—particularly with me slotting unexpectedly into the starring role.

As a child, adolescent, and young adult, I thought continually about marriage, getting married, and my future wife. But it was a different matter when it came to kids. So you can imagine how surprising and challenging these unexpected life duties have been for me.

But they are my LIFE DUTIES, and in conjunction with my faith and wife, constitute the most important things in my life, so do I really have any choice but to faithfully attend to these duties if I want to be a person of integrity and desire long-term happiness for my family and myself?

The answer to this question is self-evident and therefore rhetorical. And while clearly comprehending this fact does not eradicate the difficulty of my daily duties, it does help me find joy in the process and much hope for the relational riches to come as blessed by that existential compound interest, which (good or bad), comes to all of us in the future based on the choices we make in the past and present. Thus it is that in the end, we really do reap more-or-less precisely what we sow.

"As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

— The Law of the Harvest 

(As explicated in The Good Book)

Why is it that life seems so determined to give us opportunities to do the very things we would naturally avoid? For example, I don't particularly like (much less relate to) teenagers. I didn't understand teenagers when I was a teenager myself. And as an adult, I don't feel much closer to the little brutes (bless their hearts)! 

Despite this fact, I've spent five years in classrooms of various kinds as a substitute and/or full-time teacher on the middle and high school levels. I've also been an early-morning seminary (religious) instructor of teenagers not once, but twice, in two different states!

I remember the second time I was called to serve as an early-morning religious instructor; this time in the Great State of Texas. The call came during the late summer of 2016, which also happened to be my first (and most) difficult year as a full-time stay-at-home parent. And that was just one of many other challenges my family and I faced that year. 

Ever felt like life itself was singling you out and laughing at YOU?

The early morning class I was invited to teach began at 6:00 a.m. and consisted entirely of tenth graders. Of all the things in this world that DO NOT come naturally to me, 6:00 a.m. and tenth graders are near the tippy-top of my list!

I recall the bitterness and frustration that filled my mind, heart, and soul for the first couple of weeks after I received that calling. It seemed as though life was playing a practical joke on me and fiendishly laughing in the process.

Indeed, it felt as if life itself was pointing a finger of scorn at me and saying aloud: "Ha, ha, Jordan... you wanted to travel the world and teach millions about SAL after the sun was high in the sky; how about you stay put in Texas and teach religion to a dozen teenagers before the sun comes up instead?" 

There's your reward for all that effort and hard work! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"   

My Great Aunt Dorothy was a "Mover
and a Shaker" in part because she
knew how to say: "No"

It's true that I could have said "No" to this invitation. 

An important lesson I learned from my Great Aunt Dorothy was that, and I quote: "You can always say 'No.'"

And there are times when I do say "No."

Click HERE to learn more about Life Lessons Dr. JJ learned from his Great Aunt Dorothy.  

In fact, after spending an entire year teaching seminary and feeling like an exhausted zombie each day as I sought to care for my two kids under the age of four, my wise wife convinced me it was time to ask for a release.

She didn't have to ask twice!

I immediately asked for, and was gratefully granted, an honorable release by those who had called me to serve. 

To those who are scratching their heads and asking: "JJ: why in the world did you accept the calling in the first place?"

Good question!

The ANSWER is: because I learned long ago that it is selfish, short-sighted, and unwise to turn down an opportunity to give and serve when you have the time, means, and capacity to do so. Turning down opportunities to teach or serve other people cheats others out of many blessings. It also cheats YOU out of a goldmine of personal growth and other riches in the form of unique life experiences and meaningful interpersonal relationships.

On the other hand, it is not necessary for a self-action leader to run faster or work harder than he or she is able. Thus, there are times when a declination is the best response—something I am not afraid to invoke when necessary.

While certainly not my favorite thing to do, my experience teaching early morning seminary predictably turned into a positive experience for both the students and me. The students learned and grew in their knowledge and faith; and I grew, progressed, and gained additional practice in pedagogy and religion in conjunction with obedience and humility—two vital SAL virtues. But the fact remains that it was a difficult calling for me, and I was greatly relieved when I was eventually released—just as I will be greatly relieved when I am eventually released as a Cub Scout Den Leader! 

Let that new challenge begin!   

A section of Auschwitz-Birkenau prison in Poland
where Viktor Frankl suffered, reflected,
and achieved extraordinary Existential Growth.

Viktor Frankl, that famous psychotherapist who survived the horrors of Nazi brutality in Auschwitz, once wrote:

"What [is] really needed [is] a fundamental change in our attitude[s] toward life. We [all need] to learn ... that it [doesn't] really matter what we expect... from life, but rather what life expect[s]... from us. We need... to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as ... being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist ... of right action and ... right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual. 

These tasks, and therefore the meaning of life, differ from [person to person] and from moment to moment. ... Life does not mean something vague, but something very real and concrete, just as life's tasks are also very real and concrete. They form [our] destiny, which is different and unique for each individual. No [person] and no destiny can be compared with any other [person] or any other destiny. No situation repeats itself, and each situation calls for a different response. ... Every situation is distinguished by its uniqueness, and there is always only one right answer to the problem posed by the situation at hand." (2)

Throughout my life, LIFE itself has asked me to do a whole host of different things that I felt disinclined to do. In many cases, the prospect of tackling certain tasks and undertakings that, while clearly MY DUTY to perform, nevertheless engendered no small amount of fear and even dread. In those instances, I had a choice to make. Would I humbly and obediently submit myself to life's urgent, important, and compelling requests, or would I shrink away by pridefully and selfishly refusing said opportunities?

Robert Frost
(1874-1963)
Poet and author of "The Road Not Taken"

While I am far from perfect in practicing what I preach in regards to fully meeting the demands of both DUTY and LOVE in my life and career, I can say with a clear conscience that in the main, I have consistently and proactively chosen the Road Less Traveled in both my life and career.

And as Frost so perfectly and poetically put it: "That has made all the difference." (3). And the blessings and favors that have followed this pathway have been unspeakably lavish.

And it is only the beginning.  

In the short run, doing one's duty is often difficult and unpleasant. That is an absolutely omnipresent fact of life. But in the long-run, the rewards of doing so are so exorbitantly rich and plentiful that it is hard to believe that anyone in their right mind would ever choose any other pathway, no matter how adverse or challenging.  

For example, could there be anything more valuable than the depth and strength of my earned relationships with my wife and children because I have spent so much time serving and loving them since retiring as a contract trainer nearly SIX (6) years ago?

Or what about the positive and productive contribution I made to the lives of the hundreds of students I have influenced over the years? For most people, the answer to these questions are self-evident and therefore rhetorical. And so it is for me as well.

Thus, I have no regrets. 

Nevertheless, a lingering question still begs, as follows: Will my hoped-for and envisioned "day-in-the-sun" eventually arrive as a writer and speaker?

Perhaps?

     Probably?

          Fairly likely?

               Almost certainly?

                    Without any doubt or question? 

I might be envied by a King...  Cuz I'm a Family Man

If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on the last possibility; but that's just because I am, and always will be, a hope-filled optimist in my long-term outlook on everything in my life and career. 

Nevertheless, even if it doesn't turn out quite that way, I am—and am well positioned to remain—a very rich man. 

Why am I rich? 

Because I have deep, intimate, and richly satisfying family relationships. And I have the added luxury of being able to lay my head down upon my pillow each night with a clear conscience before God, man, and myself knowing that I have consistently striven to the best of my imperfect ability to faithfully attend to my DUTY while seeking sincerely to LOVE my fellowmen.

No personal or professional opportunity, accomplishment, remuneration, or reward can even begin to rival that kind of residual income-infused GOLDMINE.  

Whatever my future might bring, I am grateful that I recognize the profound truth that in the end, whatever I may personally want out of my life and career is far less important that what life itself wants out of me on a daily, even hourly basis throughout my life. Thus, in the end, my success will not be measured in books sold, dollars earned, employees hired, or miles traveled. It will be measured in the extent to which I did my duty and strove to do the RIGHT things every day of my life.

And that is what Self-Action Leadership is all about! 

Immanuel Kant
1724-1804
German Philosopher

I believe that accomplishing that is also what Immanuel Kant intended when he introduced his famous concept—the Categorical Imperative—into the lexicon of Western philosophy. 

In Kant's view, the most valuable and worthy human attribute is not talent, ability, wealth, power, luck, or good looks. The ultimate good for Kant is constituted in what he called a "Good Will" whereby an individual autonomously choose to align one's thoughts, speech, and behaviors with Universal Laws of Right Conduct even—and especially—when we DON'T feel like it. For those who align their conduct with Kantian categorical imperatives, "Joy is [truly] duty and Love is [truly] Law." (4)

In my personal and professional experiences, conscientiously and consistently attending to my DUTY, LOVING my fellowmen, and otherwise doing the RIGHT thing to the best of my imperfect ability—however difficult and time-consuming—is the best way to live in the long run.

Nay; that is too weak. Let's put it a little more strongly: it is the only way to live in the long run. This is because doing so is the only way to obtain the best possible results over time—for oneself and others. 

As human beings, we all know "that every[one] is free, to choose his life and what he'll be" (5). This liberty extends to making a wide array of choices that are wrong, foolish, selfish, short-sighted, etc. And in the short-term, said choices may bring about moments of enjoyment or escape. But if we are interested in lasting joy and peace of mind, there is only one pathway that leads thereto. And that pathway is The Road Less Traveled, which is marked by duty, responsibility, and right thinking, speaking, and doing.

THERE   IS  NO  OTHER  WAY.

In what ways are you currently being selfish or foolish in your own personal or professional thoughts, speech, or conduct? In what ways are your actions aimed at short-term fun, pleasure, or escape at the expense of long-term achievement, joy, and peace of mind? 

What is the current strength of your own Kantian Good Will? Are you in the habit of doing what is right even—and especially—when you don't feel like it, or when doing so is difficult or unpopular? Or are you apt to just give into selfish inclinations or momentary whims—you know, in taking the "easy way out"? 

Doing difficult things brings about a cornucopia of rewards.

Over time, we all eventually discover through our own experiences that "the easy way" out is, in reality, the hardest pathway to tread in the long-run. 

Likewise, the more difficult pathway up front typically leads us to an easier (and certainly more desirable) state of feeling and being in the long-run. In the words of Jerzy Gregorek: "Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life."

"Easy choices, hard life.

               Hard choices, easy life." 

— Jerzey Gregorek      

I invite you to take some time TODAY to ponder on the unique Purpose of YOUR OWN Life within a framework of the general purpose of all of our lives (Duty & Love). In so doing, I encourage you to be honest with yourself about your current habits of thought, speech, and action. Are these habits helping or hurting you and those you profess to care the most about?

Lastly, what is ONE thing you could begin doing TODAY to start re-charting a better, wiser, and more selfless course for your family, career, and life that will bring about the richest possible rewards in the END?

There's a little buffet of thought for you.

          Now get "eating"!    

  

-Dr. JJ

October 13, 2021

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 234th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013. 

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 233 FF Blog Articles.  

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Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

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Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

Notes:

1. Frankl, V. (2006). Man's Search for Meaning. Boston, MA: Beacon Press. Page xv.

1a. Lewis, C.S. The Screwtape Letters. New York, NY: Bantam. Page 36

2. Ibid. Page 76.

3. Frost, R. The Road Not Taken (poem). 

4. Whittier, J.G. Maud Muller (poem). 

5. Miller, R.L. Know This, That Every Soul is Free (hymn).

Balancing Proactivity with Patience

At Freedom Focused, we often teach the truism that TRUTH is PARADOXICAL. We do so because understanding the paradoxical nature of truth is absolutely indispensable to earning the highest levels of Existential Growth.

What exactly does it mean when I say: "Truth is Pardoxical?"

Good Question!

It means that any truth usually carries with it a corollary truth that may initially appear or seem to contradict the very principle with which it harmonizes. That's a mouthful... so it's usually easier if I illustrate the point with some specific examples and simple aphorisms.   

Example #1: In order to build your muscles up stronger, you must first tear down their fibers so that, through natural repair processes, they can then be enhanced beyond their original state. 

Example #2: If you seek authentic personal success or greatness, you must forget about pursuing both and dedicate yourself to a cause greater than yourself or a person/s other than yourself. Then, in the words of Viktor Frankl, "success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it." 

"Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it."*

— Viktor Frankl   

Example #3:  The best romantic relationships tend to flower when you are not intentionally pursuing romance. In the words of the poet, Ella Wheeler Wilcox: All love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand.

"All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand."

— Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Click HERE to read Wilcox's full POEM: Upon the Sand  

Aphorism #1: Less is more.

Aphorism #2: "Try hard not to try so hard!"**

Trying too hard to get, do, or be something usually undercuts your efforts to achieve. It's like a golfer who swings her club too hard in an effort to hit the ball as far as she possibly can, and in the process ends up either shanking the ball off the fairway, or worse—missing the ball and hitting the ground. Or, like an automobile driver who overcorrects a steering error and ends up rolling his vehicle instead of getting back on track between the lines.  

Aphorism #3:  "Take no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself; sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof."  —Jesus

Obviously we need to learn from the past and plan/prepare for the future. But if we fail to fully and effectively live in the present, we will fail to maximize our present power, no matter how effective our plans may be.

Click HERE to learn more about the Power of Living in the Present.    

The  P/PC  Balance

Dr. Stephen Covey famously taught a principle he called the "P/PC Balance." In this example, "P" stands for "Production" and "PC" stands for "Production Capability."

If a person, team, or piece of equipment spends too much time producing and not enough time caring for and properly maintaining one's self, group, or tools, the result will inevitably be damage and burnout, which, in-turn, undercuts—or even devastates—production.

If an individual, team, or tool is to maximize production in the long run, one must focus on production capacity all along the way.

That's just the way things are.

That's why you get your car's oil changed. It's also why you visit the doctor, dentist, and/or other healthcare professionals on a regular basis—whether you are presently feeling any pain, or not. It's also why we take time off on the weekends, spend quality time with those we love, celebrate birthdays and holidays, and go on vacations. It's why we take walks, exercise, engage in recreation, swallow our vitamins and otherwise tend to our nutrition. It's also why we read, study, ponder, and pray and/or meditate.

It's not how fast you start the race.
It's how well you pace the race!

A common mistake human beings often make is exercising impatience with the P/PC balance principle. When we get impatient, we make decisions aimed at boosting production results in the short-run. While initially beneficial—or at least seemingly so—such decisions inevitably come at the expense of our long-term production capability. It's like a distance runner who starts a race too fast—a mistake I often made as a young and inexperienced runner. It feels good to start off faster than everybody else and find yourself in the lead after the first lap of a mile race. The problem is that you still have three (3) laps to go! I've learned from first-hand experience that the thrill of being in first place after the first lap does not compensate for the embarrassment of being passed up by a crowd of runners who chose to wisely pace themselves for the full-distance of the race. Such impulsive moves only betray your own impatience and immaturity as a competitor. 

Life is full of opportunities for service, contribution, and achievement—the successful pursuit of which demands that we properly balance proactivity with patience. If we fail to properly achieve this balance, we will fail to reach our full potential in whatever we set out to do.

Understanding the importance of this balance—and effectively implementing it into my personal and professional pursuits—has been paramount to my greatest successes in the past, and is similarly crucial to whatever I aim to accomplish in the future. 

One of biggest reasons I failed so often in my romantic pursuits (before I met Lina) was because I was often too impatient. I wanted to see results in my dating life immediately. But let's face it, that's not how love usually works. It took a long time to win Lina's heart. Four months passed in between our first date and our first kiss. And an entire year passed in between deciding to date exclusively and becoming engaged. It was then another six months before we were married. If I had not been willing to exercise great amounts of patience in my pursuit of Lina, she never would have felt comfortable dating me, and I never would have won her heart. This same scenario has played out in other areas of my life and career as well. After 18 years of diligent toil, focused effort, and steady growth and improvement, Freedom Focused is still not my full-time job. But with patience, I get a little bit closer with each and every blog article I publish.  

I confess that PATIENCE been a difficult lesson for me to learn, and I am not alone in my experience of this challenge. For me, the reason for its difficulty lies, in part, in the fact that I am naturally more proactive than I am patient. Proactivity is a wonderful trait; but like everything else, can get you into trouble if it is not balanced. I have always been an inherently hard working, proactive person. That is a good thing. But unbridled and bereft of patience, it tends to get me into trouble that is preventable.

To illustrate, athletes who train too hard tend to get injured. People who try too hard in relationships tend to push others away. Workaholics are usually not fun to be around, and may sacrifice their health, happiness, and personal relationships on the altar of career achievements. Entrepreneurs who are unwilling to adjust to market realities typically go out of business, and so on.  

As I have built Freedom Focused over the past 18 years, I have often had to learn to bridle my burning passion for action and temper it with patience. There have even been times when I've had to force myself to "sit still and wait" at various occasions and junctions. One of the hardest things for me to do is to sit still and do nothing; but there are times when the best possible course of action is inaction—strange as that may sound.  

It's not easy for me to sit still and not do anything. Action and proactivity are such fundamental elements of my nature and personality that it is usually easier to just jump in and take action. Nevertheless, there are times when the best thing you can possibly do in a situation is... absolutely nothing! There are times when we must work, and there are times when we must wait. If we fail to heed both commands in a wise, strategic, and disciplined manner, we will not succeed in the long run.

Thus it is that Longfellow exhorts us to "Learn to Labor and to Wait."*** And thus it is that the Good Book reminds us: "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1).

Farmers understand that even their hardest labors and best efforts are at the mercy of the irrevocable laws of nature. No matter how ambitious one might sow, one must rely on the merits and mercies of nature to reap a bountiful harvest. And nature can sometimes be a punishing master. If you don't believe me, just ask any farmer who has lost a crop to the elements (e.g. hail, flooding, fire, etc.). Moreover, even with the best of luck with the weather, a farmer must WAIT for appointed passages of time before one can reap a mature harvest. Premature harvesting aimed at "seeing how the roots are doing" will undercut one's hard work every time. 

As self-action leaders, we must learn how to work hard and be diligent. But we must simultaneously develop our capacity to patiently wait upon natural forces over which we have no control. If we fail to do so, we will find that those same natural forces will, in time, have their own way with us, the results of which will be, to say the very least, undesirable.   

"Learn to Labor and to Wait."

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow        

-Dr. JJ

July 28, 2021

Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA

Author's Note: This is the 222nd Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013. 

Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 221 FF Blog Articles.  

.........................

Tune in NEXT Wednesday for another article on a Self-Action Leadership related topic.  

And if you liked this blog post, please share it with your family, friends, colleagues, and students—and encourage them to sign up to receive future articles for FREE every Wednesday.

To sign up, please email freedomfocused@gmail.com and say SUBSCRIBE, or just YES, and we will ensure you receive a link to each new blog article every Wednesday.  

Click HERE to learn more about Freedom Focused

Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Jordan Jensen

Click HERE to buy the SAL Textbooks

Notes:

* From Man's Search for Meaning, by Viktor Frankl

** This is a quote from the movie, The Disorderly Orderly, starring Jerry Lewis. The speaker of the quote is a nurse who is continually frustrated by the main character's (Lewis) annoying penchant of messing things up by trying too hard.  

*** From Longfellow's poem, A Psalm of Life