"A form more fair, a face more sweet,
Ne'er has it been my lot to meet
And her modest answer and graceful air
Show her good and wise as she is fair."*
I love ROMANCE.
Always have.
Always will.
"Tell them, dear, that if eyes were meant for seeing, Then beauty is its own excuse for being."**
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
To me, few things can compete with, much less eclipse, the majesty, glory, and joy accessible within the magical experiences of authentic ROMANCE. At a very early age, it became evident to me that the greatest things I could possibly aspire to in life were love, marriage, and family.
Have you ever properly been in LOVE?
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| Is there anything better in life than being authentically in Love? |
Years ago, a famous television personality hosted a program on a major news network in the United States. A memorable schtick of this particular host involved posing this unique question to celebrities and other high profile guests on his show. On some occasions, he would slightly change his query, as follows: "How many times have you properly been in love?"
Ever since tuning into his show, both of these questions have intrigued me. So I naturally posed them to myself, from myself.
For me, the answer to the first question is easy: "YES, I have properly been in love."
The answer to the second question is: "ONCE"—albeit with a fairly detailed footnote attached.
Why the footnote? And what does said footnote entail?
I had a feeling you'd ask me that question!
Since I was just a boy—from kindergarten and first grade on-up—I have always had a crush on some girl (and later on some woman). It's hard to remember a time in my past when I wasn't
in love (or at very least deeply infatuated with) some girl or woman.
For example, at the beginning of my 4th grade year, I was all agog with a girl in my new class.
Her name was Tara.
To this day, I can still distinctly recall the brief moment Tara's and my eyes met and locked on to each other diagonally across the table one day at lunchtime. This dreamy eye-locking only lasted for about three seconds (which is quite a while, if you really think about it), after which we both reflexively looked away. Nevertheless, I remember the moment with great clarity—as if it had happened just yesterday—and it ranks among the most magical moments of my young life.
Within days of that
moment, however, I was transferred to a 4th/5th grade combination class because there were too many students in the fourth- and fifth-grade classes at my school that year. I was devastated to be taken out of Tara's class, so much so that I recall crying in my bed one night before the official classroom switch was set to take place.
Pathetic?
Perhaps.
Nevertheless, the pathos of that experience—and so many others like it—was REAL, and cut deep into the furrows and sinews of my young mind, heart, and soul.
It did not matter too much, however, that I was taken out of Tara's class because I merely formed a new crush (of course). This time it was Lindsay—an older woman (5th grader)—in my new combination class. This relatively quick switch from Tara to Lindsay suggests that I must not have been properly in love with Tara, or Lindsay, for that matter. Such seeming amores must have been more akin to juvenile infatuations.
Some of my infatuations were more intense than others, and some lasted for far longer than others, but they almost always existed for me. This was, no doubt, a part of my natural make-up. It was also influenced by romances I observed all around me, including the real-life connubial connections of my parents (My mom and dad were both hopeless romantics) and older siblings and cousins as well as the more idealistic versions I was exposed to in print and the cinema.
The latter variety had perhaps the deepest impact on me, and I'll never forget the pleasure of reading about Jefferson Davis Bussey (a Union spy) and his pure and innocent—albeit forbidden—romance with Lucy Washbourne (a sweet, lovely, gorgeous Southern Belle he met behind enemy lines) in Harold Keith's
Newbery Award winning juvenile historical fiction novel,
Rifles for Watie. Moreover, many a movie inspired additional romantic notions within my mind, heart, and spirit, thus leading me to waltz out of a movie theatre "walking on air" for the passion and inspiration I derived from a motion picture.
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The Ladies, bless their hearts, managed
to do a number on mine over the years! |
Throughout my entire childhood, adolescence, and young adult years, I was always "falling in love"—or so I thought. I also dated a lot. From age 16-19, I went on 40 different dates (mostly group dates) with 33 different girls. And YES... as an avid journaler, I kept detailed track of my experiences, so any stats I provide on the subject are trustworthy.
I did not date at all between ages 19-21 because I was serving a full-time mission for my church. But after returning from my 2-year mission to Canada, I started dating even more prolifically in anticipation of eventually marrying.
In all, I went on 218 dates with 100 different women before meeting Lina.
That's right... I had to date 100 other gals before I was worthy of and prepared to date Lina, and she just happened to be the magical number #101!
Some gals I only went out with once; others I went out with twice, thrice, or even several more times. But come what may, I could never get any of these relationships to last. This fact was devastating—even heartbreaking—on dozens of occasions because in my mind, I really did "fall in love" with a score or more different gals. However, in hindsight I came to see over time that all of these experiences were more akin to powerful infatuations than authentic LOVE.
Despite all that experience over more than a decade, I managed to land only one "official" girlfriend; and she dumped me after one week of "official" dating.
Pathetic?
Perhaps.
But all that failure-laden "despised love"*** proved to be an important part of my life's journey. Furthermore, it turned out to be entirely worth it because
that pathway led me to where I had always sought to go, which was to make it to the end of the rainbow and find a pot of romantic gold.
Eventually, I made it to the Rainbow's end, where I met and started to date Lina Tucker. For the first time in my life, I was not only properly in love, but I finally understood what it actually meant to "Properly be in Love." After all the failure and disillusionment, my success with Lina proved to be a truly magical experience that continues on and is even richer TODAY.
I truth, I never spent enough quality time with any other girl or woman to have properly been in love. And while time expenditure alone is not a recipe for TRUE LOVE, it is unquestionably an indispensable ingredient.
Now I know the difference between mere infatuation and real, deep, committed LOVE—and it wasn't just a matter of pulling a rabbit out of my hat by somehow persuading Lina to be my "official" girlfriend for more than a week—although that was undoubtedly a good start!
It was really more about the time investment and personal commitment.
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Lina Marie Jensen
"My Darling, My Darling, My Wife and My Bride"****
From her Bridal Pics Collection, August 2008 |
Today's post***** is a tribute to my wife—my best friend, closest companion and confidante, the unrivaled apple of my eye, and the absolute LOVE of my LIFE.
Lina Marie (née Tucker) and I were married on August 8, 2008. It's an easy date to remember because it's 08/08/08, or just 8/8/8.
Our 13th wedding anniversary passed by a couple of Sundays ago.
This year's anniversary is extra special to me personally because I have a thing with the number 13—it's my lucky number (long story). This number also has a lot of importance to Freedom Focused as an organization (again, long story). Lastly, it is the first anniversary we will spend in our new home state—the Wondrous and Great Sunshine State of FLORIDA.
Due to scheduling issues, we will not be officially celebrating our anniversary until this weekend, which coincides nicely with my 42nd birthday on August 21st. Nothing like a dual reason to throw a party, especially where romance is involved! Thanks to my wonderfully kind and generous in-laws, who are taking our kids for the weekend so we can celebrate, Lina and I are looking forward to a magical two-night romantic getaway in Miami.
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With my girlfriend, Lina, on our first
trip to South Beach in March 2007 |
I sometimes refer to Atlanta, Georgia as the city where "Dreams Come True" because that is where I had the privilege and pleasure of meeting and dating Lina. If Atlanta is the city where dreams come true, then Miami is the "City of our Dreams." As such, we are most fortunate to get to make our home just an hour or so north of this subtropical jewel of the Deep South.
Lovely in every possible way, Lina is the most wonderful person in the world in my eyes.
I absolutely adore her.
There are endless things about her that I admire. She is incredibly beautiful (inside and out). She is wicked smart. She is fun to be around and has the most joyful and infectious laughs of anyone I've ever met. I recall a time back during our courtship when I was sitting next to Lina and a couple of other friends while riding in the back seat of a car. As we rode along, she was absolutely shaking with laughter. The reason I'll never forget the moment was because the metaphysical mirth and jubilant joy that emanated from her being at that otherwise commonplace moment was a key indicator that this was the kind of person with whom I wanted to spend the rest of eternity.
In short, Lina has a golden mind, a platinum personality, and a heart of diamonds.
I love her voice.
I love her laugh.
I love her smile and scent.
I love her character, integrity, virtue, and endless goodness.
Indeed, my admiration of and respect for her knows no bounds.
Lina is not perfect; no one is. But she is about as close to perfection as one could possibly hope for in a spouse. Moreover, she is the consummate self-action leader. I may have written THE BOOKS on the subject, but she is actually a better example of SAL than I am in many (if not most) ways.
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Lina jumping for joy on South Beach in 2007
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Her eyes as stars of twilight fair;
Like twilight's, too, her dusky hair; ...
I saw her upon nearer view,
A spirit, yet a woman too! ...
A countenance in which did meet
Sweet records, promises as sweet; ...
A being breathing thoughtful breath,
A traveler between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;
A perfect woman, nobly planned
To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light.******
Lina has a positive attitude. She loves other people and cares deeply about their needs, feelings, and welfare. Despite being a full-time career professional who travels regularly, she is a remarkably conscientious, caring, and devoted wife and mother. She is one of the most mature and selfless people I have ever met. She has made my dreams come true in so many ways, and our family has been endlessly blessed by her love, work, and endless dedication to us.
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| Kissing on a camping trip in early 2008 |
She is, quite simply, better than the woman of my dreams.
The reason I describe her this way is because I, like many other single men, had certain ideas in my eyes, head, and heart about what kind of woman I wanted to someday marry. And it may surprise you to learn that Lina was not exactly what I had envisioned when I pictured my future wife.
She... is... BETTER than what I had envisioned!
In other words, God took my own ideas for an ideal spouse into His compassionate and almighty Hands and said to me: "That's a good and interesting start, Jordan, but how about I do you a whole lot better?
Here... meet Lina!"
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There she was... waiting for me
underneath a South Florida Palm Tree! |
I would say I am the luckiest man in the world, but a lot more than mere LUCK went into finding, meeting, dating, and marrying Lina. It took time, effort, FAITH, focus, determination, persistence, consistence, vision, and a healthy dose of old-fashioned risk-taking.
Indeed, my journey to Lina was anything but fast or easy. Fraught with seemingly endless disappointment, heartache, rejection, and failure that at times bordered on despair, finally meeting up with Lina was like finally finding that elusive oasis in the Sahara desert after traveling for several thousand miles through that sweltering North African landscape of endless sand and sunburn.
But it was all worth it because Lina was waiting for me underneath the Palm Tree of that heavenly oasis. When the Country Music group, Rascal Flatts, sings: "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you," they must have been singing about me.
Lina and I met in Atlanta (technically Duluth) Georgia in September 2006. While it wasn't exactly love at first sight for either of us, it is fair to say that it was love at "Second Sight"—at least for me—and within a week, I was hooked! She understandably didn't fall for me quite as quickly, but thankfully grew to love me over time.
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Our Wedding Day in Salt Lake City, Utah, USA
August 8, 2008 ~ 8/8/08 |
The more I got to know her, the more in love I fell, and the more determined I grew to do whatever it might take—for however long it might take—to win her heart for good. It took six months after we met before she agreed to date me exclusively. And it took an entire year after that before she agreed to marry me. I was ready to get engaged after three months of dating. It took her nine additional months; but it was worth the wait! Never in my life has there been a more important or well-spent 18 months.
In light of everything I've said about Lina up to this point, perhaps you are assuming that we've never had an argument, unhappy moment, or felt cross with each other.
NOT SO!
It was not all smooth sailing after we started dating. We had to endure two heartrending breakups before we were convinced that we wanted our relationship to last for the rest of our lives and FOREVER beyond that.
In addition, we have faced our share of marital challenges after tying the knot. Lina and I are human just like everybody else. Sometimes we hurt each other's feelings. Sometimes we feel irritated with each other. Sometimes we disagree. Sometimes we even argue and feel cross with one another. Every moment of our marriage has not been blissfully free of trial, error, disappointment, frustration, and pain.
Nobodies is.
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With Lina at Delray Beach after a couples'
speaking engagement in July 2021. |
In fact, we have even been to marriage counseling a few times over the years, and every time we've gone our relationship has gotten better as a result.
Nevertheless, in the aggregate, I honestly cannot imagine a better life-partner and companion for me than Lina. Truly, she is the gal for me—a woman
even better than the woman of my dreams! And in this imperfect world so often filled with sadness, separation, and wo, there is no doubt that I am sitting in the
Catbird Seat because I get to be Lina's husband.
Thank you, Lina, for 13 wonderful years. And thank you, God, for helping me find her and somehow, someway, win her heart over time.
So to my precious darling and wonderful wife, Lina, I say: Here's to at least 50 more years together in this world (God-willing), and forever and ever in whatever worlds will come after that!
Of all of the blessings I've ever been given,
The greatest of all and the nearest to heav'n
Is found in the heart, mind, and soul of my wife—
The key human source of all good in my life!
All my Love,
-JJ
August 18, 2021
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, USA
Author's Note: This is the 225th Blog Post Published by Freedom Focused LLC since November 2013.
Click HERE for a compete listing of the other 224 FF Blog Articles.
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Notes:
* This elegant and romantic quatrain is from one of my favorite poems, entitled: Maud Muller, by John Greenleaf Whittier (1807-1892).
** This couplet is found in Emerson's poem, The Rhodora.
*** Phrase from Shakespeare's Hamlet (Polonius's Advice to Laertes).
**** Phrase from Edgar Allan Poe's famous Poem, Annabelle Lee
***** This post was inspired by a similar tribute that Country Music Legend, Garth Brooks, made to his wife, Trisha Yearwood, on the Garth XM Radio Channel (55).
****** Excerpts from Wordsworth's poem, She Was a Phantom of Delight
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